I did it! I had heard of this thing called NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Posting Month, but I had never had the slightest inclination to try it until this year. The basic idea is that you blog every day in November. I wasn't sure if I could really do it, but, on November first, I put up a post just in case I followed through...and then I've managed to post every day since then. I'm really proud of doing it, and proud of writing more substantially than I thought I could every day.
This blog generally has been an incredible outlet for me, as I've always loved to write but could never find anything I really wanted to write about. It turns out that I love writing about my family and the crazy adventures of having small kids, and I've been motivated to do it for the last four years. I've averaged about a post every three days or so for all that time, and this month I did a lot more than that!
It's pretty crazy to look over at the bookshelf and see the three bound books of the three first years of our blog so far, and to think that another book will be joining them as soon as this year ends. This month has shown me that I can blog more frequently than I thought I could, and that I have enough to say to blog every day if I want to.
I wonder if this will have any effect on my normal blogging rhythms, or if I'll just go back to what I was doing before. I guess only time will tell! However, I'm just as superstitious as my brother, so I didn't want to say anything about it until I actually finished it. Now that I have, yahoo!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
22 weeks
Here's the lovely lady at just over 22 weeks. Over halfway through!
Drizzle is growing happily in there and, as Sacha has already said, is a pretty active little one. I feel her sometimes at night, but Sacha feels her rolling around and kicking in there several times a day, which is apparently much more than Tali ever moved. It will be interesting to see what Drizzle's personality will be like! Mateo was a big mover and shaker in utero - it was rare that he went more than ten or fifteen minutes without moving, and it often looked like he was stirring up a tornado in my belly...and he went on to become The Baby Who Wouldn't Sleep. Let's hope Drizzle takes more after her sister that way!
Also, just wanted to mention that we had a lovely time seeing my friend, Annie, from college today for lunch. She's visiting Portland and happened to be staying right nearby, so the kids and I went over in the swagger wagon to pick her up. It's pretty amazing to think that anyone I still know from college, all of whom I met during freshman year, I've known for 15 years. Wow, that makes me feel old. Anyway, we had a great time catching up and are hoping for a few more Portland visits over the next couple of years.
Finally, I just have to pat myself on the back for actually getting some Christmas lights up in our front yard! We tried to put some on the house last year, but it looked a bit funny because we have asbestos siding and couldn't use nails, so, like the true lesbians we are, we used duct tape. Never again. This year, we decided to just light the plants in our yard, because we have so many. I got some of the woven lights that you can put over bushes and then I also wired our random palm tree that sits right in the middle of our front yard. It was planted there by the house's previous owners, who clearly had no idea what kind of climate they were dealing with, but it seems to survive every year. All this is to say that it looks so bright and holidayish out there and it makes me happy.
Drizzle is growing happily in there and, as Sacha has already said, is a pretty active little one. I feel her sometimes at night, but Sacha feels her rolling around and kicking in there several times a day, which is apparently much more than Tali ever moved. It will be interesting to see what Drizzle's personality will be like! Mateo was a big mover and shaker in utero - it was rare that he went more than ten or fifteen minutes without moving, and it often looked like he was stirring up a tornado in my belly...and he went on to become The Baby Who Wouldn't Sleep. Let's hope Drizzle takes more after her sister that way!
Also, just wanted to mention that we had a lovely time seeing my friend, Annie, from college today for lunch. She's visiting Portland and happened to be staying right nearby, so the kids and I went over in the swagger wagon to pick her up. It's pretty amazing to think that anyone I still know from college, all of whom I met during freshman year, I've known for 15 years. Wow, that makes me feel old. Anyway, we had a great time catching up and are hoping for a few more Portland visits over the next couple of years.
Finally, I just have to pat myself on the back for actually getting some Christmas lights up in our front yard! We tried to put some on the house last year, but it looked a bit funny because we have asbestos siding and couldn't use nails, so, like the true lesbians we are, we used duct tape. Never again. This year, we decided to just light the plants in our yard, because we have so many. I got some of the woven lights that you can put over bushes and then I also wired our random palm tree that sits right in the middle of our front yard. It was planted there by the house's previous owners, who clearly had no idea what kind of climate they were dealing with, but it seems to survive every year. All this is to say that it looks so bright and holidayish out there and it makes me happy.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Explosive
Portland had a brush with terror and the surreal yesterday, when a Somali teenager attempted to set off a huge bomb in the middle of the city's tree-lighting ceremony, attended by 12,000 women, men, and children. We learned about this in both our morning papers this morning. We get the Sunday New York Times and the daily Oregonian, both of which pictured the attempted bombing on their front pages. Luckily, the whole thing was being controlled by undercover FBI agents and they planted a fake bomb instead of a real one, so nothing bad happened and the guy got arrested. However, as I was saying to several people earlier today, I now have more understanding of why terror is so, well, terrifying.
The would-be bomber was quoted somewhere as saying (paraphrasing here) that Portland was the perfect place to attack, because it's out of the way, below the radar, and no one would be expecting it. This is exactly the reason that I have worried almost not at all about any kind of terrorist attack. A bombing in a the middle of a huge ceremonial holiday event is something I could envision in other countries or at least in big cities in this country. So, I guess my bubble has been burst and this kind of thing can really happen anywhere. It is, to say the least, disconcerting, and, to say the most, utterly terrifying! I'm not saying I'm going to alter our daily routines or anything, or avoid going to community events or anything like that. I just wish we lived in a world where no one felt the need to blow up anyone else. Really, is that too much to ask?
The other part of this that caught my eye is that the perpetrator is Somali-American. Sacha's school is right in the middle of a large Somali immigrant community and is full of newly immigrated Somali kids. A lot of the families have at least 5 children and a family of 12 is not unheard of. So, the community is big when compared to the size of the city and the lack of people of color here in the first place. I hope this doesn't lead to more discrimination against these kids and their families, who obviously had nothing to do with what this guy was up to. His quotes in the paper make it very clear that he's some kind of sociopath, but of course, he'll be associated with the Somali community anyway. I wonder what Sacha's day at school will be like tomorrow. I'll be interested to hear what she learns...
The would-be bomber was quoted somewhere as saying (paraphrasing here) that Portland was the perfect place to attack, because it's out of the way, below the radar, and no one would be expecting it. This is exactly the reason that I have worried almost not at all about any kind of terrorist attack. A bombing in a the middle of a huge ceremonial holiday event is something I could envision in other countries or at least in big cities in this country. So, I guess my bubble has been burst and this kind of thing can really happen anywhere. It is, to say the least, disconcerting, and, to say the most, utterly terrifying! I'm not saying I'm going to alter our daily routines or anything, or avoid going to community events or anything like that. I just wish we lived in a world where no one felt the need to blow up anyone else. Really, is that too much to ask?
The other part of this that caught my eye is that the perpetrator is Somali-American. Sacha's school is right in the middle of a large Somali immigrant community and is full of newly immigrated Somali kids. A lot of the families have at least 5 children and a family of 12 is not unheard of. So, the community is big when compared to the size of the city and the lack of people of color here in the first place. I hope this doesn't lead to more discrimination against these kids and their families, who obviously had nothing to do with what this guy was up to. His quotes in the paper make it very clear that he's some kind of sociopath, but of course, he'll be associated with the Somali community anyway. I wonder what Sacha's day at school will be like tomorrow. I'll be interested to hear what she learns...
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Re: grouping
Wow, that was a big week! Sacha and I are both introverts, in the sense that we recharge by having quiet time instead of being around other people, so we had a great time seeing everyone, but we are fried! Looking forward to a relatively quiet afternoon and evening and an early bedtime. Sacha even sprung me to hit up a coffee shop for some alone time, which is highly appreciated! Same basic plan for tomorrow. Over and out.
PS: Just in case you were wondering, this is what we're doing this evening when our hysterical, sleep-deprived children finally fall asleep:
PS: Just in case you were wondering, this is what we're doing this evening when our hysterical, sleep-deprived children finally fall asleep:
Friday, November 26, 2010
Biology
I sat down to write about how I feel about signing up to be the non-bio mom to a second child, but I realized (although I'm sure I will now prove myself wrong) that I don't have a lot to say about it. We originally planned for me to get pregnant with #3, which didn't work out for a variety of reasons, and I thought maybe I would feel sad about that, or insecure about not being biologically connected to the majority of our kids. Actually, things have been fine. Sacha is beautiful pregnant and I'm over the moon excited about the baby growing in there. It's always been my dream to have at least three kids, so how could I be upset about who is carrying the baby?
I love that I got to be pregnant and give birth to Mateo, but I also realized during the course of that pregnancy that what I really cared about was having a child, not necessarily being pregnant and giving birth to said child (although I am glad I got to do it). It's true that I have occasional moments of sadness that I won't get to feel a baby flipping around inside me again. However, Drizzle and I get to have moments in the night when I feel her move and Sacha's asleep, and that's pretty amazing, too.
I think my experience of being Tali's mama and being the primary caregiver for both kids has shown me that I relate to them almost completely same way. I mean, in a few rare instances biology intervenes, like when Mateo had a hard time with his vision test at his last doctor's appointment and I thought, well, he probably got that from me. Turns out, he was just being stubborn and he passed the second vision test, which Sacha had to take him to the optometrist for, with flying colors. Since all three of us (me, Sacha, and Apa) can be very stubborn in our own ways, I guess I can blame us all for that particular trait!
But, like I was saying, Mateo and Natalia are my children. Regardless of biology, they are a part of me and that can never be undone no matter whose body they came from. The very beginnings of their lives were different, of course, but I've never felt bonded to one of them over the other. I mean, we each go through times when things are going better for us with one child or another, but I think that's normal for any family.
My only worry about having a second child gestated by Sacha is that the balance we currently have will tip and maybe not now, but in the teenage years, that the two younger ones will prefer her over me. However, I hope that me being the stay-at-home one with all of them through their early years will equalize that somewhat. Watching Tali now, it's clear that she will run to Sacha like a homing pigeon when she comes home from work, but also that she asks where I am constantly if I leave the house for even a few minutes.
Sacha and I have worked really hard to treat our kids the same and, if anything, to deemphasize in public who gave birth to whom. I've had a couple of friends recently tell me that they can never remember which one of us is the bio mom of each kid, which makes me feel good. It's not something we emphasize with the kids or with anyone else. We'd really rather avoid those horrible conversations about "who's the real mom?" or "don't you really just love one over the other?", both of which have come up more than once.
I'm not saying that biology isn't important, but more than anything, I truly believe that love is what makes a family. Unconditional love. Love that transcends biology. That's what makes me think that embarking on the non-bio route again with Drizzle won't be too much of a big deal. We have plenty of love to go around for all three of them, regardless of their gestational parent.
In fact, whenever we tell their gestation and birth stories to them, we always talk about "when you were growing in Mama's belly and Mommy's heart" or vice versa, and we try to apply that to our straight friends, as well (ie, "when your friend so-and-so was growing in his Mommy's belly and his Daddy's heart"). (An aside: For both of us, being the non-bio mom to one kid has made us empathize a lot with the straight dads of the world, who get treated like they don't exist or have no idea how to parent a lot of the time.) More than that, Sacha and I are really on the same page as far as making sure we each have time with both kids and that if one kid is starting to show a preference for one parent, that we make sure that kid has some extra special time with the other parent.
Right now Drizzle is growing in Sacha's belly and all of our hearts, and I have confidence that we'll navigate what lies ahead with everything I just said as a guide. After all, if love makes a family, we have more than enough of that to go around! I hope Drizzle is already feeling it from her comfy little place in Mommy's belly and Mama's heart.
I love that I got to be pregnant and give birth to Mateo, but I also realized during the course of that pregnancy that what I really cared about was having a child, not necessarily being pregnant and giving birth to said child (although I am glad I got to do it). It's true that I have occasional moments of sadness that I won't get to feel a baby flipping around inside me again. However, Drizzle and I get to have moments in the night when I feel her move and Sacha's asleep, and that's pretty amazing, too.
I think my experience of being Tali's mama and being the primary caregiver for both kids has shown me that I relate to them almost completely same way. I mean, in a few rare instances biology intervenes, like when Mateo had a hard time with his vision test at his last doctor's appointment and I thought, well, he probably got that from me. Turns out, he was just being stubborn and he passed the second vision test, which Sacha had to take him to the optometrist for, with flying colors. Since all three of us (me, Sacha, and Apa) can be very stubborn in our own ways, I guess I can blame us all for that particular trait!
But, like I was saying, Mateo and Natalia are my children. Regardless of biology, they are a part of me and that can never be undone no matter whose body they came from. The very beginnings of their lives were different, of course, but I've never felt bonded to one of them over the other. I mean, we each go through times when things are going better for us with one child or another, but I think that's normal for any family.
My only worry about having a second child gestated by Sacha is that the balance we currently have will tip and maybe not now, but in the teenage years, that the two younger ones will prefer her over me. However, I hope that me being the stay-at-home one with all of them through their early years will equalize that somewhat. Watching Tali now, it's clear that she will run to Sacha like a homing pigeon when she comes home from work, but also that she asks where I am constantly if I leave the house for even a few minutes.
Sacha and I have worked really hard to treat our kids the same and, if anything, to deemphasize in public who gave birth to whom. I've had a couple of friends recently tell me that they can never remember which one of us is the bio mom of each kid, which makes me feel good. It's not something we emphasize with the kids or with anyone else. We'd really rather avoid those horrible conversations about "who's the real mom?" or "don't you really just love one over the other?", both of which have come up more than once.
I'm not saying that biology isn't important, but more than anything, I truly believe that love is what makes a family. Unconditional love. Love that transcends biology. That's what makes me think that embarking on the non-bio route again with Drizzle won't be too much of a big deal. We have plenty of love to go around for all three of them, regardless of their gestational parent.
In fact, whenever we tell their gestation and birth stories to them, we always talk about "when you were growing in Mama's belly and Mommy's heart" or vice versa, and we try to apply that to our straight friends, as well (ie, "when your friend so-and-so was growing in his Mommy's belly and his Daddy's heart"). (An aside: For both of us, being the non-bio mom to one kid has made us empathize a lot with the straight dads of the world, who get treated like they don't exist or have no idea how to parent a lot of the time.) More than that, Sacha and I are really on the same page as far as making sure we each have time with both kids and that if one kid is starting to show a preference for one parent, that we make sure that kid has some extra special time with the other parent.
Right now Drizzle is growing in Sacha's belly and all of our hearts, and I have confidence that we'll navigate what lies ahead with everything I just said as a guide. After all, if love makes a family, we have more than enough of that to go around! I hope Drizzle is already feeling it from her comfy little place in Mommy's belly and Mama's heart.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Photos of T Day
I had a lot of fun with my camera tonight and thought I'd post some Turkey Day photos. Here they are!
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| This was a bottle of 1978 Cabernet, made the year I was born. I don't know much about wine, but it was a big hit! |
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| Happy wine tasters, plus one happy baby in her auntie's arms |
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| Gorgeous matriarch: mom of 4, grandma of 7 and great-grandma of 2 (and almost 3)! |
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| Yummy roasted veggies dreamed up by Apa |
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| One of many family portrait configurations |
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| Cute couple! |
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| Proud grandparents |
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| More proud grandparents |
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| Ahhhh, this fire was so nice, and that brick in the middle is made from pressed sawdust from my family's business. Pretty cool, eh? |
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| Hottie on the left, complete with the bun in the oven! |
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| Kristin and Apa cooked up an incredible feast! |
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| And, finally, the official carver of the turkey. Yum. |
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving day itinerary
Turkey trot at 7 am: check
Coffee with sister and brother post-trot: check
Time with in-laws and kids, plus lunchtime and naptime: check
Long walk with father-in-law while everyone else was sleeping: check
Coaxing kids into their Thanksgiving attire amidst post-nap crankies: check
DELICIOUS Thanksgiving dinner cooked by Apa and Kristin, eaten alongside family from all over the place: check
Back home, kids in bed, introverted Mama blogging on the computer to recharge: check!
So, so thankful for these guys in this photo and all our loved ones near and far who couldn't make it to this particular photo shoot. We are so lucky.
Turkey trot at 7 am: check
Coffee with sister and brother post-trot: check
Time with in-laws and kids, plus lunchtime and naptime: check
Long walk with father-in-law while everyone else was sleeping: check
Coaxing kids into their Thanksgiving attire amidst post-nap crankies: check
DELICIOUS Thanksgiving dinner cooked by Apa and Kristin, eaten alongside family from all over the place: check
Back home, kids in bed, introverted Mama blogging on the computer to recharge: check!
So, so thankful for these guys in this photo and all our loved ones near and far who couldn't make it to this particular photo shoot. We are so lucky.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thanks, part 2: shelter
When I was in my social work master's program, we had to do internships at local nonprofits that worked in areas of interest for us. I wanted to work with homeless young adults, and so I was placed at a local organization that did just that. They have a reputation for getting 80% of their clients into stable housing, but the program they placed me in was for the bottom 5% of clients.
These were kids that had developed an intense distrust of systems for a variety of reasons - bad experiences in foster care, bad experiences with people abandoning, neglecting, or abusing them, or run-ins with the law over being homeless, using drugs, drinking underage, loitering, etc.
Our program's job was basically just to hang out with them during the day and establish relationships with them, so that if or when they decided to seek help with housing or addiction or anything, that they might turn to us. It's called milieu therapy, because you spend time just being with clients in their environment instead of having them come to an office and talk to you at your desk.
Anyway, that winter, we had some really cold and nasty days, and it just used to kill me to leave and go home when I knew that my young friends were going to have to fend for themselves for the night. Even though Portland (and, I'm sure, many other cities) has a system of warming shelters when the temps drop too low, and they do, in fact, manage to serve nearly everyone who seeks help, it is in no way the same thing as going back to your own home and family where people love you. In fact, I remember even as a child, when we would go into San Francisco, seeing homeless folks on the streets there and feeling guilty for weeks over all we had and they didn't.
Then, after I got my degree, I worked at another social services agency at a youth shelter. As it happened, the shelter was one of the designated warming spaces, so I felt slightly better knowing that people could get out of the cold at my workplace, even if I couldn't take them home with me or magically solve their problems.
This year, the past two days have been bitterly cold for this area. Last time I looked, it was 29 degrees outside, and it's the middle of the day. It was something like 16 degrees last night. It is cold. And there are so, so many people out there who don't have a place to go. Yes, most of them will cobble something together between the warming shelter and their own resourcefulness, but it won't be easy and it will only be for a short time. I feel like I should do more, give more, DO something, but instead it's so easy to get pulled into the demands of family life and the constant needs of our kids.
So, in addition to resolving to at least make a donation to a homeless-serving agency, I feel especially thankful today that we have a house to live in and that we can afford to pay to live here and pay to keep our heat and utilities working. And, even more than that, I feel overwhelmingly grateful to be able to provide that for our children. The number of homeless families is growing all the time, and I can't even imagine their desperation, of not knowing if there will be room at the inn for their family tonight. For our house, for our heater, for our resources, and for our stability, I give thanks today.
These were kids that had developed an intense distrust of systems for a variety of reasons - bad experiences in foster care, bad experiences with people abandoning, neglecting, or abusing them, or run-ins with the law over being homeless, using drugs, drinking underage, loitering, etc.
Our program's job was basically just to hang out with them during the day and establish relationships with them, so that if or when they decided to seek help with housing or addiction or anything, that they might turn to us. It's called milieu therapy, because you spend time just being with clients in their environment instead of having them come to an office and talk to you at your desk.
Anyway, that winter, we had some really cold and nasty days, and it just used to kill me to leave and go home when I knew that my young friends were going to have to fend for themselves for the night. Even though Portland (and, I'm sure, many other cities) has a system of warming shelters when the temps drop too low, and they do, in fact, manage to serve nearly everyone who seeks help, it is in no way the same thing as going back to your own home and family where people love you. In fact, I remember even as a child, when we would go into San Francisco, seeing homeless folks on the streets there and feeling guilty for weeks over all we had and they didn't.
Then, after I got my degree, I worked at another social services agency at a youth shelter. As it happened, the shelter was one of the designated warming spaces, so I felt slightly better knowing that people could get out of the cold at my workplace, even if I couldn't take them home with me or magically solve their problems.
This year, the past two days have been bitterly cold for this area. Last time I looked, it was 29 degrees outside, and it's the middle of the day. It was something like 16 degrees last night. It is cold. And there are so, so many people out there who don't have a place to go. Yes, most of them will cobble something together between the warming shelter and their own resourcefulness, but it won't be easy and it will only be for a short time. I feel like I should do more, give more, DO something, but instead it's so easy to get pulled into the demands of family life and the constant needs of our kids.
So, in addition to resolving to at least make a donation to a homeless-serving agency, I feel especially thankful today that we have a house to live in and that we can afford to pay to live here and pay to keep our heat and utilities working. And, even more than that, I feel overwhelmingly grateful to be able to provide that for our children. The number of homeless families is growing all the time, and I can't even imagine their desperation, of not knowing if there will be room at the inn for their family tonight. For our house, for our heater, for our resources, and for our stability, I give thanks today.
Family, plus morning time
Here's a post full of photos! This was the beginning of the family Thanksgiving extravaganza, starting with Auntie Edlyn early this week and my mom coming in yesterday. Then we have my dad and Bubby and Poppa and Galen and Megan and everybody else converging today for a dinner at my grandma's, followed by T Day, followed by a long holiday weekend! We are so lucky and so thankful for so many things, and among these are the time we've already spent with our family. Here are some photos from yesterday.
And, here's Grammy!
And, as proof that sometimes simple is best, these blocks usually trump all the more sophisticated toys when they come out. Here's what we were up to early this morning...
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| Tali figured out the iPhone pretty quickly, and also was very happy to listen to Beatles songs with Auntie Edlyn's help |
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| Camera faces, in matching argyle... |
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| Silly faces! |
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| Playing with the ever-popular iPhone... |
And, here's Grammy!
And, as proof that sometimes simple is best, these blocks usually trump all the more sophisticated toys when they come out. Here's what we were up to early this morning...
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
21 weeks (and 2 days, but who's counting?)
Here's Sacha at 21 weeks. She is a rock star! She's doing a great job of growing our baby, working, and being a mom. We love her thiiiiiis much!
Also, this gives a look at our finished front room, which we also love, although not nearly as much as we love Sacha and Drizzle!
Also, this gives a look at our finished front room, which we also love, although not nearly as much as we love Sacha and Drizzle!
Monday, November 22, 2010
What we didn't know
We have some friends who have some friends who have some friends who are lesbians and expecting their first child in the spring. Via this friend chain, they asked about talking with us and we said sure, so I'm supposed to be talking to one of them tomorrow morning. The whole thing makes me think about all the things I didn't know before becoming a parent. Since most of this blog is pretty much all about the incredible, overpowering love for your children and the way they change your life, I was thinking about the slightly more mundane, but still life-altering aspects about becoming a parent.
For example, let's take sleep. Obviously, there's the sleep deprivation of having a newborn, and, for us, the first two years of having a kid who just would not sleep. But then, there are the patterns your kids develop that are just innate and that you can't change no matter what, like, in our case, our kids' wake-up times. When I talked to the friend of a friend tonight to set up a time to really talk, she mentioned that before 7:30 am would be good for her, but it might be too early for us? Ha!
I know I've gone into this, but Mateo is in our room every morning between 5 and 6 am and he has slept past 8 am exactly one time in his entire life, and that was when he had a fever. The coming into our room thing is actually a big improvement, because he used to wake up at that time shouting "MAMA! MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!" over and over until I finally woke up and dashed across the house to quiet him down before he woke up his sister.
Obviously, almost everyone has to get up early for work whether they have kids or not, but the relentlessness of them NEVER sleeping past 6 does kind of wear you down. Although, I have to admit that having Mateo snuggle in bed with us in the morning and ask in his little chipper, wide-awake voice "Mama? What day is it? What are we doing today?" is pretty adorable.
Then, and I am really going for the mundane here, but towels. Towels, people. We have accumulated about five thousand hand towels since the kids came along and we go through them all at least twice a week. If we used paper towels (ok, we do sometimes, but hardly ever), we would be filling landfills at an alarming rate. I had no idea how much kids could spill, or how many times, or what the true (massive) diameter would be of a spill that resulted from a milk cup being thrown from the table in the midst of a tantrum.
Nor did I have any idea about the constant wiping of hands, faces, etc, and that's just at mealtime. Then came the ART! I know I should lift them up or find a huge stool and have them wash their hands after they've drawn all over themselves, but sometimes it's easier to just wipe them down. So, towels. If you have kids, you will either buy stock in whoever makes Costco paper towels or you will toss your hand towels in the wash with alarming frequency. Also, you should buy stock in the major stain stick company while you're at it.
I used to have a thing for holiday towels, which is kind of unlike me, but nonetheless, I loved putting out the autumn ones in autumn, and the Christmas ones at Christmas, and so on. That has all gone by the wayside. It's Christmas and Halloween and spring and summer and fall in our kitchen all year round, judging by what's hanging next to the sink. Here's a small sampling of what comes out of the laundry every few days:
And, finally, just to get this out of my system so the lady I talk to tomorrow doesn't think I'm a total freak: swimming. Swimming with your kids is so fun. Especially in Portland where they have soaking pools that are like huge hot tubs. Super, duper fun. Until you have to get out. That is when all hell breaks loose, or, at least, it does for us.
Take today, for example. It's been wet and cold and it's actually snowing right now. When the kids got up from their naps, after spending a rather sedentary morning running errands (actually, we were scoring brand new, ridiculously cheap kids' snow gear off of craigslist in preparation for some Mt. Hood time later this winter) and going to a birthday party, I decided we needed to move our bodies. I gave them the choice of the soaking pool or OMSI and they went for the hot water. The great thing about the soaking pool is that it's really like a pool for them, but safer. It has a ledge all around the inside, so the kids can walk all around it safely and it's warm, but not so hot that they can't splash around and get some energy out. For pre-swimmers especially, they have a lot more freedom to explore than at a regular swimming pool.
So, off we went and of course it was packed, because everyone in the world was trying to warm up. We had a great time (and Sacha was doing the first of two long days of parent-teacher conferences, so I tried to keep us in there as long as possible!) splashing and going up and down the steps and floating and such. Then, we got inside and even though I now have a system for this, it was still SO FRUSTRATING that I went from relaxed to wanting to scream just in the time it took to get us all dressed. This was especially frustrating because, like I said, we've been before (with both Sacha and me and with just me) and have developed a system to get everyone out of wet clothes and into dry ones as fast as possible.
The thing is, though, anywhere you go swimming, the locker room is going to be wet, and the kids are going to want to explore and open the door when you don't want it opened, get their hands in the water on the floor, randomly refuse to get their shirt/pants/shoes/anything at all on, demand to go pee right then even though the bathroom is across the hall and closed for cleaning, or possibly several of these things at once. I always make sure to get them dressed and cozy before I get myself dressed, because I don't want them cold and wet and also because I've learned the hard way that doing all three of us at once is even more of a disaster. At least when I get them dressed first, I can let them out into the rest of the dressing room and they can spend their time unloading the rest of our stuff onto the floor and crawling in and out of the lockers and slamming any open doors repeatedly. Getting dressed all together makes it almost 100% likely that one of them will loudly and repeatedly ask me something like "MAMA, ARE THOSE YOUR (BODY PARTS)? MAMA? IS THAT YOUR UNDERWEAR?" which is always makes me feel like a real winner of a mom.
Anyway, so I'm trying to get them dressed today and I have almost made it to the finish line - we are all dressed and just need to get our shoes on. However, all the mats in the locker room are soaked and there are people sitting on the only bench, so I make this makeshift arrangement in the corner and have us all stand on towels so that I can get their feet dry and their shoes on.
However, this puts us near the door of the locker room, which people have to walk through to get to the soaking pool. Naturally, Tali starts whacking the door handle up and down as loudly as she can, not responding to me counting her or asking her to please stop. I then threaten to take away the pizza dinner I had promised them if they can't show me they can behave, which has no effect on her, of course. Sensing that the pizza might be about to vanish in front of his eyes, Mateo takes it upon himself to plaster himself in front of the door so his sister can't touch it, but, also, no one else can get in or out. Good times.
We finally made it out into the hall, which is when we discovered that the bathroom was closed, but that's a whole 'nother story, and we did finally make it to dinner and then home without further incident. I guess I'm just saying, wow, parenting is exhausting. It is amazing and fulfilling and I would never change our choices, but just typing all that out made me think of the pre-kid me and what I would think of that. Sacha and I used to go to a soaking pool place in San Francisco that was for women only and we would go and relax and then go out to dinner afterwards. Now, a trip to the pool (heated or outdoors in the summer) is fun (and still worth doing), but it requires some serious emotional fortitude to get back to the car without totally blowing one's top!
Finally, and this is more positive, I never realized how jaw-droppingly sweet it is to see your kids interacting in a loving way. Mateo has never been especially affectionate or demonstrative towards his sister, but recently he's been wanting to kiss her, hug her, and he's started calling her "sweetie," just like Apa does. It is the sweetest thing.
Part of their bedtime routine now includes them giving each other kisses and hugs, and I tell you, that is one of the really good parts. Even with the relentless early waking, the towels, the insane amounts of laundry, the swimming logistics, and all those million other time-consuming things that aren't fun but have to be done once you have kids, it really is true, for me, however corny it is, that all it takes is one moment where Mateo calls Natalia "sweetie" or a time where they both want to tell me that they love me and smack me right on the lips and it is all worth it. All of it.
Now I just need someone to remind me of that when, after adjusting to a new normal twice now, we're adjusting to the new normal that Drizzle's arrival brings with it! I actually can't wait. I know it will be a big change and a ton of work, but I can't wait for all of it anyway.
For example, let's take sleep. Obviously, there's the sleep deprivation of having a newborn, and, for us, the first two years of having a kid who just would not sleep. But then, there are the patterns your kids develop that are just innate and that you can't change no matter what, like, in our case, our kids' wake-up times. When I talked to the friend of a friend tonight to set up a time to really talk, she mentioned that before 7:30 am would be good for her, but it might be too early for us? Ha!
I know I've gone into this, but Mateo is in our room every morning between 5 and 6 am and he has slept past 8 am exactly one time in his entire life, and that was when he had a fever. The coming into our room thing is actually a big improvement, because he used to wake up at that time shouting "MAMA! MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!" over and over until I finally woke up and dashed across the house to quiet him down before he woke up his sister.
Obviously, almost everyone has to get up early for work whether they have kids or not, but the relentlessness of them NEVER sleeping past 6 does kind of wear you down. Although, I have to admit that having Mateo snuggle in bed with us in the morning and ask in his little chipper, wide-awake voice "Mama? What day is it? What are we doing today?" is pretty adorable.
Then, and I am really going for the mundane here, but towels. Towels, people. We have accumulated about five thousand hand towels since the kids came along and we go through them all at least twice a week. If we used paper towels (ok, we do sometimes, but hardly ever), we would be filling landfills at an alarming rate. I had no idea how much kids could spill, or how many times, or what the true (massive) diameter would be of a spill that resulted from a milk cup being thrown from the table in the midst of a tantrum.
Nor did I have any idea about the constant wiping of hands, faces, etc, and that's just at mealtime. Then came the ART! I know I should lift them up or find a huge stool and have them wash their hands after they've drawn all over themselves, but sometimes it's easier to just wipe them down. So, towels. If you have kids, you will either buy stock in whoever makes Costco paper towels or you will toss your hand towels in the wash with alarming frequency. Also, you should buy stock in the major stain stick company while you're at it.
I used to have a thing for holiday towels, which is kind of unlike me, but nonetheless, I loved putting out the autumn ones in autumn, and the Christmas ones at Christmas, and so on. That has all gone by the wayside. It's Christmas and Halloween and spring and summer and fall in our kitchen all year round, judging by what's hanging next to the sink. Here's a small sampling of what comes out of the laundry every few days:
And, finally, just to get this out of my system so the lady I talk to tomorrow doesn't think I'm a total freak: swimming. Swimming with your kids is so fun. Especially in Portland where they have soaking pools that are like huge hot tubs. Super, duper fun. Until you have to get out. That is when all hell breaks loose, or, at least, it does for us.
Take today, for example. It's been wet and cold and it's actually snowing right now. When the kids got up from their naps, after spending a rather sedentary morning running errands (actually, we were scoring brand new, ridiculously cheap kids' snow gear off of craigslist in preparation for some Mt. Hood time later this winter) and going to a birthday party, I decided we needed to move our bodies. I gave them the choice of the soaking pool or OMSI and they went for the hot water. The great thing about the soaking pool is that it's really like a pool for them, but safer. It has a ledge all around the inside, so the kids can walk all around it safely and it's warm, but not so hot that they can't splash around and get some energy out. For pre-swimmers especially, they have a lot more freedom to explore than at a regular swimming pool.
So, off we went and of course it was packed, because everyone in the world was trying to warm up. We had a great time (and Sacha was doing the first of two long days of parent-teacher conferences, so I tried to keep us in there as long as possible!) splashing and going up and down the steps and floating and such. Then, we got inside and even though I now have a system for this, it was still SO FRUSTRATING that I went from relaxed to wanting to scream just in the time it took to get us all dressed. This was especially frustrating because, like I said, we've been before (with both Sacha and me and with just me) and have developed a system to get everyone out of wet clothes and into dry ones as fast as possible.
The thing is, though, anywhere you go swimming, the locker room is going to be wet, and the kids are going to want to explore and open the door when you don't want it opened, get their hands in the water on the floor, randomly refuse to get their shirt/pants/shoes/anything at all on, demand to go pee right then even though the bathroom is across the hall and closed for cleaning, or possibly several of these things at once. I always make sure to get them dressed and cozy before I get myself dressed, because I don't want them cold and wet and also because I've learned the hard way that doing all three of us at once is even more of a disaster. At least when I get them dressed first, I can let them out into the rest of the dressing room and they can spend their time unloading the rest of our stuff onto the floor and crawling in and out of the lockers and slamming any open doors repeatedly. Getting dressed all together makes it almost 100% likely that one of them will loudly and repeatedly ask me something like "MAMA, ARE THOSE YOUR (BODY PARTS)? MAMA? IS THAT YOUR UNDERWEAR?" which is always makes me feel like a real winner of a mom.
Anyway, so I'm trying to get them dressed today and I have almost made it to the finish line - we are all dressed and just need to get our shoes on. However, all the mats in the locker room are soaked and there are people sitting on the only bench, so I make this makeshift arrangement in the corner and have us all stand on towels so that I can get their feet dry and their shoes on.
However, this puts us near the door of the locker room, which people have to walk through to get to the soaking pool. Naturally, Tali starts whacking the door handle up and down as loudly as she can, not responding to me counting her or asking her to please stop. I then threaten to take away the pizza dinner I had promised them if they can't show me they can behave, which has no effect on her, of course. Sensing that the pizza might be about to vanish in front of his eyes, Mateo takes it upon himself to plaster himself in front of the door so his sister can't touch it, but, also, no one else can get in or out. Good times.
We finally made it out into the hall, which is when we discovered that the bathroom was closed, but that's a whole 'nother story, and we did finally make it to dinner and then home without further incident. I guess I'm just saying, wow, parenting is exhausting. It is amazing and fulfilling and I would never change our choices, but just typing all that out made me think of the pre-kid me and what I would think of that. Sacha and I used to go to a soaking pool place in San Francisco that was for women only and we would go and relax and then go out to dinner afterwards. Now, a trip to the pool (heated or outdoors in the summer) is fun (and still worth doing), but it requires some serious emotional fortitude to get back to the car without totally blowing one's top!
Finally, and this is more positive, I never realized how jaw-droppingly sweet it is to see your kids interacting in a loving way. Mateo has never been especially affectionate or demonstrative towards his sister, but recently he's been wanting to kiss her, hug her, and he's started calling her "sweetie," just like Apa does. It is the sweetest thing.
Part of their bedtime routine now includes them giving each other kisses and hugs, and I tell you, that is one of the really good parts. Even with the relentless early waking, the towels, the insane amounts of laundry, the swimming logistics, and all those million other time-consuming things that aren't fun but have to be done once you have kids, it really is true, for me, however corny it is, that all it takes is one moment where Mateo calls Natalia "sweetie" or a time where they both want to tell me that they love me and smack me right on the lips and it is all worth it. All of it.
Now I just need someone to remind me of that when, after adjusting to a new normal twice now, we're adjusting to the new normal that Drizzle's arrival brings with it! I actually can't wait. I know it will be a big change and a ton of work, but I can't wait for all of it anyway.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Jammies
Okay, so we all know I love to match the kids sometimes, especially in their jammies. It's just too cute to resist. One of my favorite photos of the two of them that I have ever taken was in their matching "Cozy" green jammies.
They have a new pair of matching jammies and I thought I'd take a photo of them today. Then, since they wanted to see the pictures, we ended up looking through our photo library and finding the original Cozy photo, plus one more bonus picture. Here they are. They're all about a year apart. It's amazing to see how they've grown. Our babies are getting to be kids!
Here they are in winter 2008:
Winter 2009:
And (nearly) winter 2010:
They have a new pair of matching jammies and I thought I'd take a photo of them today. Then, since they wanted to see the pictures, we ended up looking through our photo library and finding the original Cozy photo, plus one more bonus picture. Here they are. They're all about a year apart. It's amazing to see how they've grown. Our babies are getting to be kids!
Here they are in winter 2008:
 |
| I love how Tali is like, "What's up?" |
Winter 2009:
And (nearly) winter 2010:
Newest addition
Here she is, in all her glory, christened overnight by the first frost of the season. We are in love!
Sacha and the kids are out taking it for a Sunday drive right now. Wahoo!
Sacha and the kids are out taking it for a Sunday drive right now. Wahoo!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Swagger Wagon
We got one. A minivan. This afternoon!
The story: Sacha, Natalia and I had breakfast with my sister this morning while Mateo was having a date with Apa. It was delicious and fortifying and so lovely to see my sister, as always. Anyway, we had planned to stop by the local dealership to test drive a Sienna again, since we had pretty much ruled out the Odyssey after test driving it recently. We knew we wanted a Sienna and we had done some research on pricing, but hadn't seriously started looking. We did, however, have a long conversation about what features we wanted in our new driving home, as we had to wait FOREVER to get seated at the brunch place. It was funny to have to wait so long, since normally we're up with the birds and, if we dare to go out, done with breakfast before a line even has a chance to form.
Anyway, so we had looked at Consumer Reports and found all the recommended years for the Sienna, which had a major redesign in 2004, so it was 2004 to now, except for 2007, in which the Sienna totally tanked. Bizarre. We were chatting about the model years (I know, this is fascinating) and I said to Sacha that I would prefer to have a totally tricked out, bells and whistles older model than a more basic newer one.
That, as it turned out, is exactly what we found. There were four used Siennas at the dealership and two caught our eye. The first was a newer model that had eight seats but with not too many features and too high of a price. The second was this 2004 Sienna XLE with seven seats but with everything else we wanted - automatic doors (that you can control with the key fob or from the front console) and an automatic rear door, heated seats, a sunroof, easy temperature control for the front and rear, a fancy music system, and I could go on but I won't. The seat thing was what had been holding us back all along - did we really want eight seats, which means two rows of three seats in back, so you have to climb over or fold down one seat to get to the far back? Or, did we want seven seats, with more freedom of movement but one less person to potentially carry?
We ended up deciding that we wanted seven, because the times we would carry around eight people seemed few and far between. So, this 2004 was becoming more and more interesting to us, especially because the price was less than we had anticipated paying and was well within our price range. This is probably because it has 87,000 miles on it, which is a little high, but these things are supposed to last until 250,000 if you keep them well-maintained.
We still weren't at all thinking of buying, but we took it for a test drive and discovered more bells and whistles and by the time we got back, we were interested enough to sit down with the sales guy, which led to some negotiating and consulting on the phone with Sacha's dad, which led to us getting the price we wanted to within about $100 of what Sacha's dad suggested. And so, after much paperwork and several hysterical meltdowns by Talia, who did her very best but was tired and hungry and past naptime, Sacha drove our new (to us) Sienna off the lot and to our house!
We drove it around a little bit this afternoon, when some friends came over and then when we went to a three-family dinner at other friends' house (you guys, if you're reading this, we must do that again!) and I never, ever thought I would say this, but I am in love with this vehicle. I love all the stuff it can do, I love the space, I love that we successfully negotiated a good price, and I love, love, love the idea that we can use it to drive our three kids around come springtime!
Since we are now proud Sienna owners, we have to include a clip of the Swagger Wagon ad that we think is so funny. Enjoy!
The story: Sacha, Natalia and I had breakfast with my sister this morning while Mateo was having a date with Apa. It was delicious and fortifying and so lovely to see my sister, as always. Anyway, we had planned to stop by the local dealership to test drive a Sienna again, since we had pretty much ruled out the Odyssey after test driving it recently. We knew we wanted a Sienna and we had done some research on pricing, but hadn't seriously started looking. We did, however, have a long conversation about what features we wanted in our new driving home, as we had to wait FOREVER to get seated at the brunch place. It was funny to have to wait so long, since normally we're up with the birds and, if we dare to go out, done with breakfast before a line even has a chance to form.
Anyway, so we had looked at Consumer Reports and found all the recommended years for the Sienna, which had a major redesign in 2004, so it was 2004 to now, except for 2007, in which the Sienna totally tanked. Bizarre. We were chatting about the model years (I know, this is fascinating) and I said to Sacha that I would prefer to have a totally tricked out, bells and whistles older model than a more basic newer one.
That, as it turned out, is exactly what we found. There were four used Siennas at the dealership and two caught our eye. The first was a newer model that had eight seats but with not too many features and too high of a price. The second was this 2004 Sienna XLE with seven seats but with everything else we wanted - automatic doors (that you can control with the key fob or from the front console) and an automatic rear door, heated seats, a sunroof, easy temperature control for the front and rear, a fancy music system, and I could go on but I won't. The seat thing was what had been holding us back all along - did we really want eight seats, which means two rows of three seats in back, so you have to climb over or fold down one seat to get to the far back? Or, did we want seven seats, with more freedom of movement but one less person to potentially carry?
We ended up deciding that we wanted seven, because the times we would carry around eight people seemed few and far between. So, this 2004 was becoming more and more interesting to us, especially because the price was less than we had anticipated paying and was well within our price range. This is probably because it has 87,000 miles on it, which is a little high, but these things are supposed to last until 250,000 if you keep them well-maintained.
We still weren't at all thinking of buying, but we took it for a test drive and discovered more bells and whistles and by the time we got back, we were interested enough to sit down with the sales guy, which led to some negotiating and consulting on the phone with Sacha's dad, which led to us getting the price we wanted to within about $100 of what Sacha's dad suggested. And so, after much paperwork and several hysterical meltdowns by Talia, who did her very best but was tired and hungry and past naptime, Sacha drove our new (to us) Sienna off the lot and to our house!
We drove it around a little bit this afternoon, when some friends came over and then when we went to a three-family dinner at other friends' house (you guys, if you're reading this, we must do that again!) and I never, ever thought I would say this, but I am in love with this vehicle. I love all the stuff it can do, I love the space, I love that we successfully negotiated a good price, and I love, love, love the idea that we can use it to drive our three kids around come springtime!
Since we are now proud Sienna owners, we have to include a clip of the Swagger Wagon ad that we think is so funny. Enjoy!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thanks, part 1: the library
I thought, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, that I would think of some things that I am thankful for. I was trying to think of things besides the obvious blessings of my family and friends, a roof over my head, food to eat, and a safe place to live.
The first thing that came to mind was the public library. I don't know if this is standard in other counties and states, but the Multnomah County library system is awesome. Not only do they have just about every book you could ever think of, but you can reserve them online and have them sent to your local library for you to pick up.
With a lot of the books our kids like, there are other books by the same author listed on the back, so we just go on the library website and reserve those books. Then, it makes for a fun adventure to go pick them up when they arrive. Sacha and I have also benefited from this, because we can get and read books that we hear about in various places and then return them. With the exception of a few well-loved books, neither of us is a big re-reader, so getting books from the library is perfect.
The other great thing about the library is that you can have up to 150 books checked out at once! I never, ever thought we would care about this, but at one point last week, we had 76 books checked out. This prompted a massive library book purge, but nonetheless, it's really great to be able to check out a huge pile of picture books and not worry about if you're going to hit your limit. As a friend was recently saying, her family will take out 25 kids' books, keep them for a week or two, and then take them back and trade them in for 25 more, and repeat, and repeat.
Mateo and Natalia, thanks to their moms and the generosity of friends and relatives, also have a huge collection of books that they actually own, and they love those books. Having the library system in place makes them appreciate books that we get to "keep forever," as they put it, even more. It's a win-win!
Multnomah County library system, I love you. Let's keep this relationship going!
In the spirit of my uncle's suggestion to take photos of your house at various points, so that you can remember what it looked like during different phases of your life, I decided to take some photos of our bookshelves. We keep our books on the top shelves and give the kids the bottom shelf of each bookshelf, except in Natalia's room, which doubles as the playroom, in which every shelf is kid territory. Was that a run-on or what?
Anyway, without further ado, I present our some of our bookshelves, which are actually not as full as they often are, thanks to the aforementioned massive library book purge. We stack the kids' books to make it easier to find things, because they tend to get lost with their tiny spines if we have them upright.
Oh, one more thing! I should note that we also have a huge collection of Spanish or bilingual books that Sacha has collected over the years, and those books have their own piles. We have a system for organizing all the piles, but, unfortunately, I'm not so great at maintaining it, so each pile is more like a big surprise for the kid looking through it!
The first thing that came to mind was the public library. I don't know if this is standard in other counties and states, but the Multnomah County library system is awesome. Not only do they have just about every book you could ever think of, but you can reserve them online and have them sent to your local library for you to pick up.
With a lot of the books our kids like, there are other books by the same author listed on the back, so we just go on the library website and reserve those books. Then, it makes for a fun adventure to go pick them up when they arrive. Sacha and I have also benefited from this, because we can get and read books that we hear about in various places and then return them. With the exception of a few well-loved books, neither of us is a big re-reader, so getting books from the library is perfect.
The other great thing about the library is that you can have up to 150 books checked out at once! I never, ever thought we would care about this, but at one point last week, we had 76 books checked out. This prompted a massive library book purge, but nonetheless, it's really great to be able to check out a huge pile of picture books and not worry about if you're going to hit your limit. As a friend was recently saying, her family will take out 25 kids' books, keep them for a week or two, and then take them back and trade them in for 25 more, and repeat, and repeat.
Mateo and Natalia, thanks to their moms and the generosity of friends and relatives, also have a huge collection of books that they actually own, and they love those books. Having the library system in place makes them appreciate books that we get to "keep forever," as they put it, even more. It's a win-win!
Multnomah County library system, I love you. Let's keep this relationship going!
In the spirit of my uncle's suggestion to take photos of your house at various points, so that you can remember what it looked like during different phases of your life, I decided to take some photos of our bookshelves. We keep our books on the top shelves and give the kids the bottom shelf of each bookshelf, except in Natalia's room, which doubles as the playroom, in which every shelf is kid territory. Was that a run-on or what?
Anyway, without further ado, I present our some of our bookshelves, which are actually not as full as they often are, thanks to the aforementioned massive library book purge. We stack the kids' books to make it easier to find things, because they tend to get lost with their tiny spines if we have them upright.
Oh, one more thing! I should note that we also have a huge collection of Spanish or bilingual books that Sacha has collected over the years, and those books have their own piles. We have a system for organizing all the piles, but, unfortunately, I'm not so great at maintaining it, so each pile is more like a big surprise for the kid looking through it!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Family history
My uncle, Terry, is our family genealogy expert and has recently started sending stories about some of our ancestors via email. This comes on the heels of helping chart my mom's family tree back to the days of the Vikings. He has a regular day job, but genealogy is his passion.
Anyway, the first story he sent out was about the journey of my maternal grandmother's grandfather's trip across the country on the Oregon Trail. He was one of the younger children in a family of eight, and survived a harrowing journey across the country that culminated in both of his parents passing away and the surviving siblings banding together and raising themselves. Eventually, my grandma's grandfather grew up and had a family of his own and then eventually my grandma came along and now here we are today. I wonder what they would think of Oregon now, having come to it when it was dominated by open space, populated by Native Americans and parts were covered in lots and lots of trees.
It's a pretty amazing story and I thought I would post it here today, as a way to remember part of where we came from. I'm sure there were a million different reasons that people would leave nearly all their possessions and relatives to travel thousands of miles to an unknown part of the country, but it still amazes me that people went at all. I don't think I would have been able to do it. I guess the promise of a better life, land, and new beginnings had a pretty strong pull.
Anyway, here's the tale, straight from my uncle's computer to ours:
In the spring of 1852, they set out with ox teams and wagons for Oregon. Four families, the Akins, Richeys, Ingrams and Booths, who were related by marriage, traveled together. The Akin children ranged in age from 19 to 2 and their names were James, Elizabeth, John, Nancy, Franklin, Frances, Caroline, and Mary Ann. They followed the North Platt River up to the continental divide and then came down into the Snake River watershed. It was a six-month journey of drudgery and hardship, in which one out of five people died.
Eliza Richey Akin, the mother, was somewhat frail from having Typhoid Fever a few years before. When they arrived at the Three Island Crossing of the Snake River in southern Idaho, they struggled all day to get the livestock to cross the river. For the next two days they dragged cattle behind wagon beds and ferried wagons across. Eliza became feverish during this time and the day after they got everyone across, she died on the North side of the crossing.
The party continued on to Fort Boise, where they crossed the Snake River again and proceeded into Oregon. They arrived at the Columbia River, near The Dalles, in early October, with cold, damp winds coming up the Gorge. They built log rafts and then by the time they made it to the Cascades, nearly everyone was sick. The youngest child, Mary Ann, who was only two years old, became feverish and died by the Lower Cascades. Some of the people were so sick that they had to abandon livestock and hire boats to bring them down into Portland.
Two weeks after arriving in Portland, James Franklin Akin died, leaving his seven surviving children as orphans. When he was near death, his brother-in-law, Stuart Richey, who had lost his wife and six-year-old daughter, asked him, “Would it pay to undertake this trip with such an enormous sacrifice of life?” James replied, “My hope was to bring my family to a better country, and with the same light I had when we started, I should undertake the same thing again.”
**********************
One last thing to add: my grandma has a small chair in her house that her ancestors brought over on the covered wagon. It has its legs cut off, so that it could sit flat on the floor of the wagon. I love to look at it and so do the kids. We've even gotten a couple of kids' books about the Oregon Trail from the library, so they know a little bit about it. That chair is the only tangible artifact we have of that time, and it's in good condition, so hopefully it will last a good while longer and be able to educate several more generations!
Anyway, the first story he sent out was about the journey of my maternal grandmother's grandfather's trip across the country on the Oregon Trail. He was one of the younger children in a family of eight, and survived a harrowing journey across the country that culminated in both of his parents passing away and the surviving siblings banding together and raising themselves. Eventually, my grandma's grandfather grew up and had a family of his own and then eventually my grandma came along and now here we are today. I wonder what they would think of Oregon now, having come to it when it was dominated by open space, populated by Native Americans and parts were covered in lots and lots of trees.
It's a pretty amazing story and I thought I would post it here today, as a way to remember part of where we came from. I'm sure there were a million different reasons that people would leave nearly all their possessions and relatives to travel thousands of miles to an unknown part of the country, but it still amazes me that people went at all. I don't think I would have been able to do it. I guess the promise of a better life, land, and new beginnings had a pretty strong pull.
Anyway, here's the tale, straight from my uncle's computer to ours:
The Akins, and the Journey West
James Franklin Akin and Eliza Richey (my maternal great-great-grandparents, I think) were married in Pike County, Illinois, in 1832. James was born in North Carolina and Eliza, in Kentucky. Their ancestors had come to Virginia from England, Ireland and Scotland. After their second child was born, James and Eliza moved to Salem, Iowa, and they had eight children in all.In the spring of 1852, they set out with ox teams and wagons for Oregon. Four families, the Akins, Richeys, Ingrams and Booths, who were related by marriage, traveled together. The Akin children ranged in age from 19 to 2 and their names were James, Elizabeth, John, Nancy, Franklin, Frances, Caroline, and Mary Ann. They followed the North Platt River up to the continental divide and then came down into the Snake River watershed. It was a six-month journey of drudgery and hardship, in which one out of five people died.
Eliza Richey Akin, the mother, was somewhat frail from having Typhoid Fever a few years before. When they arrived at the Three Island Crossing of the Snake River in southern Idaho, they struggled all day to get the livestock to cross the river. For the next two days they dragged cattle behind wagon beds and ferried wagons across. Eliza became feverish during this time and the day after they got everyone across, she died on the North side of the crossing.
The party continued on to Fort Boise, where they crossed the Snake River again and proceeded into Oregon. They arrived at the Columbia River, near The Dalles, in early October, with cold, damp winds coming up the Gorge. They built log rafts and then by the time they made it to the Cascades, nearly everyone was sick. The youngest child, Mary Ann, who was only two years old, became feverish and died by the Lower Cascades. Some of the people were so sick that they had to abandon livestock and hire boats to bring them down into Portland.
Two weeks after arriving in Portland, James Franklin Akin died, leaving his seven surviving children as orphans. When he was near death, his brother-in-law, Stuart Richey, who had lost his wife and six-year-old daughter, asked him, “Would it pay to undertake this trip with such an enormous sacrifice of life?” James replied, “My hope was to bring my family to a better country, and with the same light I had when we started, I should undertake the same thing again.”
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One last thing to add: my grandma has a small chair in her house that her ancestors brought over on the covered wagon. It has its legs cut off, so that it could sit flat on the floor of the wagon. I love to look at it and so do the kids. We've even gotten a couple of kids' books about the Oregon Trail from the library, so they know a little bit about it. That chair is the only tangible artifact we have of that time, and it's in good condition, so hopefully it will last a good while longer and be able to educate several more generations!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Just wait...
This has nothing to do with the title, but I have to start out with some exciting news! There's a new cousin in our family! Sacha's cousin, Rachel, and her husband, Joaquin, just had a baby boy a couple of days ago. Because of Orthodox customs, the baby won't be named until he is eight days old, but they did send some photos and he is adorable. I think he's technically our kids' second cousin, but who's counting? We're so excited for them and hope to be able to meet the little guy someday. They're living in Israel right now and won't be back in the States for at least another six months, so it might be awhile. It's amazing to think that we were just at their wedding last November 8th and now they have a little baby, born almost exactly a year later! Congratulations, guys!
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So, I was thinking about their baby and all the developmental milestones he'll go through that we've been through twice with our kids. One thing I have to work on all the time with new parents (and obviously we're relatively new parents ourselves) is not saying the phrase "just wait...". As in, you think he's into everything now? Just wait until he can walk. And so on. I know it does no one any good, except to emphasize that things will get more complicated and also that you have it harder than they do. It really makes me appreciate all the people who listened to us moan and groan about Mateo's sleep issues or his lack of wanting to eat any real food until he was almost a year old, or similar things with Natalia, and just let us vent without saying, "well, just wait until s/he blah blah blah."
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Finally, the new baby's arrival made me reflect on what our kids are into right now. In some ways, it's similar to a newborn: repetition. Newborns want to eat, sleep, poop, and cry all the time. Toddlers and preschoolers are more mentally and physically developed, but they thrive on routine. Our days are like groundhog day over and over and over again. Of course, I do different things with them every day, but we have the same morning routine every day with Mommy, the same coming home for a nap routine in the middle of the day, and the same dinner and bedtime routine as well. No matter what their days are like in between, they always know what the next big transition will be.
As far as I can tell, they like it, and what they like, they want to repeat. They want the same books over and over, the same fun tricks with Apa every time they see him, the same songs to listen to in the car, and the same adventure to the library, coffee shop and home. And, when we occasionally let them watch videos (except on vacation, when they can pretty much watch as much as they want on the plane or in the early morning) they want the same one or two videos every time. They must have watched Blue's Clues Biggest Stories about a thousand times, and yet they still want more.
Obviously, this phase doesn't last forever, because eventually they'll be teenagers, bored with everything we have to offer, and wanting to do everything on their own time. So, I'm trying to enjoy this simpler season of routines and repetition before things change again. Please, nobody tell me "just wait until they can drive" or anything like that, and, in return, I will refrain from saying that to other parents, although sometimes I have to grit my teeth to prevent the words from escaping!
******************************
So, I was thinking about their baby and all the developmental milestones he'll go through that we've been through twice with our kids. One thing I have to work on all the time with new parents (and obviously we're relatively new parents ourselves) is not saying the phrase "just wait...". As in, you think he's into everything now? Just wait until he can walk. And so on. I know it does no one any good, except to emphasize that things will get more complicated and also that you have it harder than they do. It really makes me appreciate all the people who listened to us moan and groan about Mateo's sleep issues or his lack of wanting to eat any real food until he was almost a year old, or similar things with Natalia, and just let us vent without saying, "well, just wait until s/he blah blah blah."
******************************
Finally, the new baby's arrival made me reflect on what our kids are into right now. In some ways, it's similar to a newborn: repetition. Newborns want to eat, sleep, poop, and cry all the time. Toddlers and preschoolers are more mentally and physically developed, but they thrive on routine. Our days are like groundhog day over and over and over again. Of course, I do different things with them every day, but we have the same morning routine every day with Mommy, the same coming home for a nap routine in the middle of the day, and the same dinner and bedtime routine as well. No matter what their days are like in between, they always know what the next big transition will be.
As far as I can tell, they like it, and what they like, they want to repeat. They want the same books over and over, the same fun tricks with Apa every time they see him, the same songs to listen to in the car, and the same adventure to the library, coffee shop and home. And, when we occasionally let them watch videos (except on vacation, when they can pretty much watch as much as they want on the plane or in the early morning) they want the same one or two videos every time. They must have watched Blue's Clues Biggest Stories about a thousand times, and yet they still want more.
Obviously, this phase doesn't last forever, because eventually they'll be teenagers, bored with everything we have to offer, and wanting to do everything on their own time. So, I'm trying to enjoy this simpler season of routines and repetition before things change again. Please, nobody tell me "just wait until they can drive" or anything like that, and, in return, I will refrain from saying that to other parents, although sometimes I have to grit my teeth to prevent the words from escaping!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Kicks
(Sacha's thoughts on 20 weeks of pregnancy)
Well, I never really expected to be pregnant a second time! Really, that was the last thing I ever thought would happen. (Enough of a that-will-never-happen that we got rid of most of my work maternity clothes. . .) And yet, here we are with me pregnant. So I guess I really should have never said never.
This time is different for me, and yet the same. What all has been the same? The afternoon sickness which has gone long after the beginning of the second trimester is the same. Thank heavens for the anti-nausea medicine. The tiredness is also the same. I think Alayna is just way more used to all of the things she does around the house, and isn't as stressed out by how tired I am. I really don't know how she does it every day. (Thank you!)
One thing that has been really different, in a nice way, is that Drizzle kicks way more. With Natalia, I would go to work and come home and at the end of the day Alayna would sometimes ask me if she had kicked. I wouldn't know. Drizzle, though, really likes to rock and roll. In the mornings (though this is going to change, because my schedule has just been readjusted by my principal), when I teach literacy, I normally sit down with a small group. During that, she almost always makes a bit of an appearance. She also likes it when Alayna or the kids talk to her, and also likes to kick when I go to bed. It's reassuring to feel her a few different times throughout the day.
Well, I never really expected to be pregnant a second time! Really, that was the last thing I ever thought would happen. (Enough of a that-will-never-happen that we got rid of most of my work maternity clothes. . .) And yet, here we are with me pregnant. So I guess I really should have never said never.
This time is different for me, and yet the same. What all has been the same? The afternoon sickness which has gone long after the beginning of the second trimester is the same. Thank heavens for the anti-nausea medicine. The tiredness is also the same. I think Alayna is just way more used to all of the things she does around the house, and isn't as stressed out by how tired I am. I really don't know how she does it every day. (Thank you!)
One thing that has been really different, in a nice way, is that Drizzle kicks way more. With Natalia, I would go to work and come home and at the end of the day Alayna would sometimes ask me if she had kicked. I wouldn't know. Drizzle, though, really likes to rock and roll. In the mornings (though this is going to change, because my schedule has just been readjusted by my principal), when I teach literacy, I normally sit down with a small group. During that, she almost always makes a bit of an appearance. She also likes it when Alayna or the kids talk to her, and also likes to kick when I go to bed. It's reassuring to feel her a few different times throughout the day.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Halfway!
Here's the lovely lady at 20 weeks, 1 day. Baby Drizzle has really started to make herself known in there during the past week, and I think all of us have felt her moving or kicking. Of course, Sacha does most of all! She seems more active than Natalia was at this point, but the movements are still very intermittent - maybe a few times a day at most. It will be interesting to see what her personality is like when she comes out!
Anyway, at this point, she's about half cooked! Let's hope she doesn't try to pull a repeat performance of her sister's 42 week gestation. We've agreed not to do that again, anyway. If Sacha makes it to 41 weeks, we'll go with the induction route. But, we would love a baby actually born close to her due date! Could such a thing be possible? Keeping fingers crossed for that....
Anyway, at this point, she's about half cooked! Let's hope she doesn't try to pull a repeat performance of her sister's 42 week gestation. We've agreed not to do that again, anyway. If Sacha makes it to 41 weeks, we'll go with the induction route. But, we would love a baby actually born close to her due date! Could such a thing be possible? Keeping fingers crossed for that....
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Home sweet home
We're back, after a long day that involved a fun Bay Area morning (kids playing at my parents' house, me going for a run, Sacha going for a walk, all of us driving up to the steam trains in Tilden Park) and then everything involved in getting two young children through an airport, saying goodbye to my parents, getting on the airplane, through the plane ride, off the plane, through the airport, and into the car and home. Whew.
The kids were actually really good, but Sacha and I were both ready to pull out our hair by the time we got home anyway. We were both really at the ends of our ropes, for no particular reason. The kids were definitely testing some limits, but it was nothing major. Nonetheless, they had some extremely grouchy mamas on their hands once we got back! Luckily, and with many thanks to Apa for picking us up, we got home right around bedtime and got the kids down and trip stuff put away without any major meltdowns from anyone, including Mommy or Mama.
I'm exhausted. Can't believe the week is starting again tomorrow! It was a fun trip, though. Poor Mateo was already lamenting the loss of his favorite stuffed animals from Grammy and Grandpa's house. I wish it were easier to visit both sets of grandparents more often! And, on that note, I'm going to bed. In my own bed. Ahhhh. Good night!
The kids were actually really good, but Sacha and I were both ready to pull out our hair by the time we got home anyway. We were both really at the ends of our ropes, for no particular reason. The kids were definitely testing some limits, but it was nothing major. Nonetheless, they had some extremely grouchy mamas on their hands once we got back! Luckily, and with many thanks to Apa for picking us up, we got home right around bedtime and got the kids down and trip stuff put away without any major meltdowns from anyone, including Mommy or Mama.
I'm exhausted. Can't believe the week is starting again tomorrow! It was a fun trip, though. Poor Mateo was already lamenting the loss of his favorite stuffed animals from Grammy and Grandpa's house. I wish it were easier to visit both sets of grandparents more often! And, on that note, I'm going to bed. In my own bed. Ahhhh. Good night!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Football
My dad and I just got home from my only live college football game of the season, and wow, it was a great game. Of course, we were sad that Cal lost, but they really took it to Oregon and held them to only 15 points. Oregon is the #1 team in the country, but they sure didn't look like it. Even with their famously well-conditioned players, they were looking awfully tired by the end of the game. The final score was 15-13, which is by far the least points the Ducks have scored all season. They're supposed to have this amazing high-flying, fast-moving, point-scoring offense, but they sure didn't tonight.
It was totally gripping and one of those games that was exciting to watch right up to the very end. Even though I'm sure the Cal team is disappointed not to have won, they certainly scored a moral victory (and not just over the football team. There was a large contingent of Ducks fans in attendance and I was shocked by just how classless they were. They decided that Cal players were faking injuries in order to slow down Oregon's fast-moving offense, so they started booing whenever someone would get hurt. Not only do I not think they were faking, I think you should never boo someone who is injured, regardless of the extent of the injury.)
Anyway, I wondered before the game if I would want to root for the Ducks, having become something of a Ducks fan in the six years we've lived in Oregon, but I now realize that I could never root against Cal. Not at home, not on the road. My dad started taking me to Cal football games when I was seven and I used to bring a book and just read throughout the game. At some point, a couple of years later, the game just clicked for me and I started to not just enjoy the games but to understand them, as well. It became the thing we did together, and I still try to make it to one or two games a year. My dad has been coming up north for one away game a year, which is always a fun adventure, but it's much more fun to root for the home team in your own hometown!
Of course, being a Cal fan has its downsides and the main one is that one must understand that Cal can always lose, at any time, regardless of their opponent, the amount they are ahead by or how much momentum they seem to have. I have been at many more heart-breaking losses in the 25 years I've been going to games than amazing victories. However, one of the best seasons I remember was in 1991, when they won all their games. My dad, seeing what a good team they had that year, decided we should go to all the games, home and away, and so we did. And then, at the end of the year, we went to the Citrus Bowl and watched them shellac Clemson. That was before the BCS and all that, but it was an awesome way to end a stellar season.
Anyway, it was a great game tonight and I'm glad I got to be there. I hope Cal can get some wins in their last two games. And, it will be very interesting to see how Oregon does over the rest of the season and post-season. I think I can go back to rooting for them now that they're not playing my team!
It was totally gripping and one of those games that was exciting to watch right up to the very end. Even though I'm sure the Cal team is disappointed not to have won, they certainly scored a moral victory (and not just over the football team. There was a large contingent of Ducks fans in attendance and I was shocked by just how classless they were. They decided that Cal players were faking injuries in order to slow down Oregon's fast-moving offense, so they started booing whenever someone would get hurt. Not only do I not think they were faking, I think you should never boo someone who is injured, regardless of the extent of the injury.)
Anyway, I wondered before the game if I would want to root for the Ducks, having become something of a Ducks fan in the six years we've lived in Oregon, but I now realize that I could never root against Cal. Not at home, not on the road. My dad started taking me to Cal football games when I was seven and I used to bring a book and just read throughout the game. At some point, a couple of years later, the game just clicked for me and I started to not just enjoy the games but to understand them, as well. It became the thing we did together, and I still try to make it to one or two games a year. My dad has been coming up north for one away game a year, which is always a fun adventure, but it's much more fun to root for the home team in your own hometown!
Of course, being a Cal fan has its downsides and the main one is that one must understand that Cal can always lose, at any time, regardless of their opponent, the amount they are ahead by or how much momentum they seem to have. I have been at many more heart-breaking losses in the 25 years I've been going to games than amazing victories. However, one of the best seasons I remember was in 1991, when they won all their games. My dad, seeing what a good team they had that year, decided we should go to all the games, home and away, and so we did. And then, at the end of the year, we went to the Citrus Bowl and watched them shellac Clemson. That was before the BCS and all that, but it was an awesome way to end a stellar season.
Anyway, it was a great game tonight and I'm glad I got to be there. I hope Cal can get some wins in their last two games. And, it will be very interesting to see how Oregon does over the rest of the season and post-season. I think I can go back to rooting for them now that they're not playing my team!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Science
I took the kids to the Lawrence Hall of Science this morning, a venerable Bay Area science museum similar to OMSI in Portland. I went there many times as a kid, but hadn't been back in years. I think Sacha and I might have visited once before we moved, but we've never been there with our own kids. Looking for an adventure this morning, I decided to load the kids into the minivan (which my parents so thoughtfully rented for us so we could try one out) and head up into the Berkeley hills. It is an absolutely beautiful day down here and it was GORGEOUS in the hills.
We had a really fun time at the museum. We played with some wind experiments, some play roller coasters, and then we went to the outside part, where we had what we all agreed was our favorite part. We climbed up onto a little hill overlooking the San Francisco bay and at a snack just playing and admiring the view. It was a lovely moment and I could tell even sitting there that it will be a happy memory to look back on.
And, even though Mateo woke up throughout the night begging to watch his videos (he gets to watch videos in the mornings when we're traveling, to give the mom or moms a little extra sleep) and finally dragging me out of bed at 5:15 am, I got him set up with his PBS kids' show and fell back asleep until a little after 7. That counts as a major sleep-in around here!
It's really nice to be down here. It's fun to hang out with my parents, enjoy the warm weather, and for the kids to have some time with their grandparents. I love running on the trails I spent so much time on in high school, and I get to go to a football game tomorrow to boot! I'm off to put the boy down for a nap (girl is already asleep) and go out for a run in the sun. Vacation = awesome.
We had a really fun time at the museum. We played with some wind experiments, some play roller coasters, and then we went to the outside part, where we had what we all agreed was our favorite part. We climbed up onto a little hill overlooking the San Francisco bay and at a snack just playing and admiring the view. It was a lovely moment and I could tell even sitting there that it will be a happy memory to look back on.
And, even though Mateo woke up throughout the night begging to watch his videos (he gets to watch videos in the mornings when we're traveling, to give the mom or moms a little extra sleep) and finally dragging me out of bed at 5:15 am, I got him set up with his PBS kids' show and fell back asleep until a little after 7. That counts as a major sleep-in around here!
It's really nice to be down here. It's fun to hang out with my parents, enjoy the warm weather, and for the kids to have some time with their grandparents. I love running on the trails I spent so much time on in high school, and I get to go to a football game tomorrow to boot! I'm off to put the boy down for a nap (girl is already asleep) and go out for a run in the sun. Vacation = awesome.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Planes
I'm down in California with the kids right now and I must report that we had The Best Plane Flight EVER. The kids stayed calm until we reached our cruising altitude, despite a few complaints from Mateo about his ears, and then they watched their DVDs until we landed. I dared to take out my new book club book, thinking that just removing it from the backpack would cause kid chaos, and instead, nothing happened!
I just read for the whole flight! Sure, I had to wipe up a few spills and hand out some snacks, but it was so easy that I couldn't believe it. In fact, I was actually surprised when the pilot came on to say that we were beginning our descent into Oakland, which was shocking in itself because in the past I have spent the flight praying at every minute that it would be over! The dvd players have made a big difference, as has the age of our kids. They can focus on a video for much longer now, and apparently they can now behave like they are sane on planes, too! Must file this in the category of wonders never ceasing.
Anyway, we've been having fun with my mom and dad, who were both home today and who spent a lot of time playing with the kids. We're planning some kind of outing for tomorrow, and then Sacha's coming down in the evening after school. It will be really nice to have her here. I was thinking about going to bed by myself tonight (although I'm really not - I'm going to sleep with Mateo. He almost always wakes up in the night at my parents' house and wakes up his sister while calling out for me, which causes a middle of the night disaster and a VERY cranky Mama....so if I'm in bed with him, I can settle him down right away if he wakes up and avoid being up for half an hour), and it got me thinking about when Sacha and I were first dating.
We both kept our own places for the first year, but we were spending every night together within about the first month. I remember that we both had a hard time adjusting to sleeping with someone else and that it took quite awhile for us to sleep decently in the same bed together. Then, inexorably, we began to sleep well together. Now, nearly 10 years later, I sleep much less well when I sleep by myself. Sleeping together just seems like the perfect place to be. So, it will be really nice to have her down her tomorrow night...although with the sleeping arrangements and the kids' sleep patterns, we may not end up in the same room anyway, but it's the thought the counts, right?
On that note, I'm going to go crawl in bed with our son. Gotta love sharing a twin bed - takes me right back to college! Er, or the last semester of college, when I had finally come out of the closet and realized I could actually date after all. But that's another story for another time. Now, off to snuggle the four-year-old...
I just read for the whole flight! Sure, I had to wipe up a few spills and hand out some snacks, but it was so easy that I couldn't believe it. In fact, I was actually surprised when the pilot came on to say that we were beginning our descent into Oakland, which was shocking in itself because in the past I have spent the flight praying at every minute that it would be over! The dvd players have made a big difference, as has the age of our kids. They can focus on a video for much longer now, and apparently they can now behave like they are sane on planes, too! Must file this in the category of wonders never ceasing.
Anyway, we've been having fun with my mom and dad, who were both home today and who spent a lot of time playing with the kids. We're planning some kind of outing for tomorrow, and then Sacha's coming down in the evening after school. It will be really nice to have her here. I was thinking about going to bed by myself tonight (although I'm really not - I'm going to sleep with Mateo. He almost always wakes up in the night at my parents' house and wakes up his sister while calling out for me, which causes a middle of the night disaster and a VERY cranky Mama....so if I'm in bed with him, I can settle him down right away if he wakes up and avoid being up for half an hour), and it got me thinking about when Sacha and I were first dating.
We both kept our own places for the first year, but we were spending every night together within about the first month. I remember that we both had a hard time adjusting to sleeping with someone else and that it took quite awhile for us to sleep decently in the same bed together. Then, inexorably, we began to sleep well together. Now, nearly 10 years later, I sleep much less well when I sleep by myself. Sleeping together just seems like the perfect place to be. So, it will be really nice to have her down her tomorrow night...although with the sleeping arrangements and the kids' sleep patterns, we may not end up in the same room anyway, but it's the thought the counts, right?
On that note, I'm going to go crawl in bed with our son. Gotta love sharing a twin bed - takes me right back to college! Er, or the last semester of college, when I had finally come out of the closet and realized I could actually date after all. But that's another story for another time. Now, off to snuggle the four-year-old...
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
In a flash
I was all set to write about what a fun morning the kids and I had at the Forestry Center, including how we played with some new friends and how we got to look up their great-grandfather and their great-great and great-great-great grandfathers in the little area that describes notable timbermen from Oregon's past, when I got a call that changed my day.
It was about a story that has been heavy on my heart since I heard about it on Monday. On Monday morning, on the same street as Mateo's preschool and about a mile north, an elderly driver got confused between the gas and the brake and hit three people as his car ran through an intersection, up over a curb and into a gas station, finally crashing into a pole.
In a flash, an ordinary morning turned to tragedy and chaos. Two of the victims were adult men, both of whom survived, and one was a 22-month-old baby, who did not. This poor boy and his dad were out for a walk in their stroller, doing nothing wrong, when this car came out of nowhere and plowed into them. Despite the dad's best efforts and nurses who just happened to be walking by and performed CPR, the little boy died at a local children's hospital yesterday.
I've been thinking a lot about this tragedy. I've been through that intersection many times, although never on foot. It goes without saying that losing a child is a nightmare that I can't even begin to imagine. I've been thinking of the family and hoping...well, I don't know what I've been hoping. I guess that they're making it through these first days with a lot of support and respect for their privacy by the media.
I've also thought about the elderly man who caused the accident. I was saying to a friend earlier that once you hit age 75, I would think that the potential for really bad things happening to you probably goes down. I mean, eventually an illness or accident will befall you, but one would hope that the chances of random tragedy would go down by that age. I don't know what the rest of this elderly man's life is going to be like, but I'd guess that it will not be good. I don't know how one could live with having caused such a terrible loss.
So, I had been following this story on the Oregonian's website, but then I found out this afternoon that we are ever so tenuously connected to the baby's family. It's one of those degrees of separation things where we have a mutual friend but have never met, and probably would never have a reason to. However, just finding out about that connection made it seem that much more real.
My heart breaks for that little boy's family and all the grief they're going to have to wade through. It reminds me of the fact that the English language doesn't have a term for a parent who has lost a child - it's like it's just too awful to even give a name to. It sounds like they have a strong and devoted community rallying around them and taking care of anything they need...except, of course, for having their son back.
I don't know them, but my heart breaks for them anyway. I hugged our kids a little tighter today and thanked God again for having them here with us on this day, and hopefully on every other day, too. I pray for solace, support, and love surrounding the baby's family in this most awful time. And, I offer up this blog post, as a mom, in loving memory of a little boy I never met but wish I had known.
It was about a story that has been heavy on my heart since I heard about it on Monday. On Monday morning, on the same street as Mateo's preschool and about a mile north, an elderly driver got confused between the gas and the brake and hit three people as his car ran through an intersection, up over a curb and into a gas station, finally crashing into a pole.
In a flash, an ordinary morning turned to tragedy and chaos. Two of the victims were adult men, both of whom survived, and one was a 22-month-old baby, who did not. This poor boy and his dad were out for a walk in their stroller, doing nothing wrong, when this car came out of nowhere and plowed into them. Despite the dad's best efforts and nurses who just happened to be walking by and performed CPR, the little boy died at a local children's hospital yesterday.
I've been thinking a lot about this tragedy. I've been through that intersection many times, although never on foot. It goes without saying that losing a child is a nightmare that I can't even begin to imagine. I've been thinking of the family and hoping...well, I don't know what I've been hoping. I guess that they're making it through these first days with a lot of support and respect for their privacy by the media.
I've also thought about the elderly man who caused the accident. I was saying to a friend earlier that once you hit age 75, I would think that the potential for really bad things happening to you probably goes down. I mean, eventually an illness or accident will befall you, but one would hope that the chances of random tragedy would go down by that age. I don't know what the rest of this elderly man's life is going to be like, but I'd guess that it will not be good. I don't know how one could live with having caused such a terrible loss.
So, I had been following this story on the Oregonian's website, but then I found out this afternoon that we are ever so tenuously connected to the baby's family. It's one of those degrees of separation things where we have a mutual friend but have never met, and probably would never have a reason to. However, just finding out about that connection made it seem that much more real.
My heart breaks for that little boy's family and all the grief they're going to have to wade through. It reminds me of the fact that the English language doesn't have a term for a parent who has lost a child - it's like it's just too awful to even give a name to. It sounds like they have a strong and devoted community rallying around them and taking care of anything they need...except, of course, for having their son back.
I don't know them, but my heart breaks for them anyway. I hugged our kids a little tighter today and thanked God again for having them here with us on this day, and hopefully on every other day, too. I pray for solace, support, and love surrounding the baby's family in this most awful time. And, I offer up this blog post, as a mom, in loving memory of a little boy I never met but wish I had known.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Martial arts
Mateo got a cool birthday present from his Bubby and Poppa. Just like last winter, they gave him a class at a local kids' gym. It was perfect last year - a fun class twice a week that gave us something fun to do on those cold, rainy days. This year, the gym is offering some new classes, and we went to try one today. It's a mixed martial arts class for kids ages four through seven. You have to do a free trial class before you sign up and it's a good thing that we did, because it was not Mateo's thing. Not at all! He did his best, which is all we would ever ask of him, but he was pretty intimidated and obviously not ready for a class like that.
They started with a warm-up that was already pushing the limits of what he can do with his body, and then moved onto grappling exercises in partners. At that point, he got this really sad and about to cry look on his face and pretty soon one of the teachers walked him over to me. Poor little guy, he was just intimidated and overwhelmed and done with the whole experience. Luckily, some snuggles and a trip to the Starbucks next door made everything better for him (and all of us, because who wants to watch their kid struggle with something they're just not ready for?).
I can totally relate to being the one in the group who just doesn't quite get it in terms of physical things (ie, when all the girls had to do aerobics in high school while the boys played basketball), and it was kind of heart-breaking to see him in a situation like that. On the other hand, at least we figured out pretty quickly that this was over his head, and hopefully we can find another, more playful class that will be fun for him.
Sitting there and watching the class, I realized that it was made up entirely of boys and that most of them were the very physical, stereotypical boy type of boys. They were all about running around and tackling each other and all that stuff that our culture says boys just naturally do. I don't know what our boy will be like as he grows up, but I do know for now that he's not ready for that kind of stuff. Maybe next year, maybe not. I guess he'll show us what he's ready for and when he's ready for it. In the meantime, we're going to consult the class schedule and see if we can't find something that fits him better.
****************
By the way, all the recent baby excitement has caused baby fever amongst our kids. When we got home from our gym class/Starbucks adventure, which was conducted in the lovely 45 degree, rainy, windy weather we've been having, they launched into a baby extravaganza. They had been asking about Drizzle all day and where she was and if she was with Mommy, so, naturally, the only thing to do was bust out their own babies and put them through an elaborate bedtime routine that puts our real one to shame!
I have this all on good authority from Sacha, because I was taking a hot shower in an effort to warm up. Something I never realized about having kids in the pacific northwest: getting them in and out of the car (and buckled into and out of their five-point-restrait carseats), on a rainy day, without them getting too wet, requires you, the parent, to absorb all the water that could have conceivably fallen on your children.
By now, I must have spent hours with my head inside the car and the rest of me getting drenched while trying to get them safely buckled in. So, I was freezing when we got home and Sacha took the kids so I could warm up. But, I digress. Babies are the in thing at our house right now. I think Mateo would still be putting his Cookie Monster to bed even now if his actual bedtime hadn't stopped him!
*****************
Mateo now comes into our room every morning, wakes me up, asks me to take off his diaper, and then crawls into bed between us. Sometimes he does it twice - once in the middle of the night and once in the early morning. Most of the time, thank goodness, he just does it early in the morning.
For some reason, I find it difficult to wake up from a deep sleep and immediately find the coordination to take off his diaper, so there's usually a lot of fumbling around before I get it. Today, though, I hit a new high or low point, depending on how you look at it. I got one tab off and then fell right back asleep! I woke up to Mateo saying "Mama! Mama! The other tab!"
Parenthood. Gotta love it.
They started with a warm-up that was already pushing the limits of what he can do with his body, and then moved onto grappling exercises in partners. At that point, he got this really sad and about to cry look on his face and pretty soon one of the teachers walked him over to me. Poor little guy, he was just intimidated and overwhelmed and done with the whole experience. Luckily, some snuggles and a trip to the Starbucks next door made everything better for him (and all of us, because who wants to watch their kid struggle with something they're just not ready for?).
I can totally relate to being the one in the group who just doesn't quite get it in terms of physical things (ie, when all the girls had to do aerobics in high school while the boys played basketball), and it was kind of heart-breaking to see him in a situation like that. On the other hand, at least we figured out pretty quickly that this was over his head, and hopefully we can find another, more playful class that will be fun for him.
Sitting there and watching the class, I realized that it was made up entirely of boys and that most of them were the very physical, stereotypical boy type of boys. They were all about running around and tackling each other and all that stuff that our culture says boys just naturally do. I don't know what our boy will be like as he grows up, but I do know for now that he's not ready for that kind of stuff. Maybe next year, maybe not. I guess he'll show us what he's ready for and when he's ready for it. In the meantime, we're going to consult the class schedule and see if we can't find something that fits him better.
****************
By the way, all the recent baby excitement has caused baby fever amongst our kids. When we got home from our gym class/Starbucks adventure, which was conducted in the lovely 45 degree, rainy, windy weather we've been having, they launched into a baby extravaganza. They had been asking about Drizzle all day and where she was and if she was with Mommy, so, naturally, the only thing to do was bust out their own babies and put them through an elaborate bedtime routine that puts our real one to shame!
I have this all on good authority from Sacha, because I was taking a hot shower in an effort to warm up. Something I never realized about having kids in the pacific northwest: getting them in and out of the car (and buckled into and out of their five-point-restrait carseats), on a rainy day, without them getting too wet, requires you, the parent, to absorb all the water that could have conceivably fallen on your children.
By now, I must have spent hours with my head inside the car and the rest of me getting drenched while trying to get them safely buckled in. So, I was freezing when we got home and Sacha took the kids so I could warm up. But, I digress. Babies are the in thing at our house right now. I think Mateo would still be putting his Cookie Monster to bed even now if his actual bedtime hadn't stopped him!
*****************
Mateo now comes into our room every morning, wakes me up, asks me to take off his diaper, and then crawls into bed between us. Sometimes he does it twice - once in the middle of the night and once in the early morning. Most of the time, thank goodness, he just does it early in the morning.
For some reason, I find it difficult to wake up from a deep sleep and immediately find the coordination to take off his diaper, so there's usually a lot of fumbling around before I get it. Today, though, I hit a new high or low point, depending on how you look at it. I got one tab off and then fell right back asleep! I woke up to Mateo saying "Mama! Mama! The other tab!"
Parenthood. Gotta love it.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Ultrasound photos
Here she is!
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| Ok, I know I'm biased, but this is an objectively cute profile :) |
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| Little skeleton face. Thank goodness they come out with things filled in a bit more! |
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| Snuggling with both hands by her face. |
Internal American
We learned some interesting things at our ultrasound today. First, our children were briefly interested in seeing their new sibling on screen, but faded quickly once they realized they couldn't see the actual baby. We'd like to send out so, so many thanks to Apa for wrangling them and giving us a chance to finish the appointment in peace. He got to see some cool stuff, including the baby's little four-chambered heart beating away and lots of wiggling around, so hopefully it was a worthwhile afternoon break from work for him!
Speaking of wiggling, we have a feisty one in there! The ultrasound tech could hardly get a couple of key measurements because of the baby's refusal to stay in one position. It was, in fact, extremely similar to Tali's 20-week ultrasound, in that Tali also refused to show her facial profile to the camera and generally really didn't want to cooperate.
Another similarity to Sacha's first pregnancy - she has an anterior placenta again, which is when the placenta is on the front of the belly instead of the back of the uterus. It makes it harder to feel the baby move early on, although Sacha has already felt Drizzle more than she had felt Talia by this point. Like I said, I think this one's going to be a feisty one! The baby is probably in there pummeling the heck out of that placenta. I fell asleep last night feeling her roll around in Sacha's belly, which has to be the greatest thing ever.
So, starting off right away with a strong sense of independence (or modesty?), the baby not only assumed a cross-legged position, but also had a hand down there to cover the important parts we were looking for. Eventually, she moved around enough for the tech to be pretty sure that we have a girl coming, but she wouldn't guarantee it. However, since the previous ultrasound in the OB's office made it very clear that the baby is a girl, we're pretty sure that Sacha is growing an internal American, as our friends at we are fambly might say.
It's funny, because we and almost everyone we knew (except my mom, who thought girl all along) thought this baby was a boy. We thought it would add balance to our family, and Mateo really wanted a little brother. However, I have been surprised by how little time it took me (and all of us) to get excited about having a little sister come along! I think it will be a ton of fun for Talia to have a sister, and Mateo will have an extra-special relationship with Apa (and the other men in his life) this way. And, we can go back to the original name of this blog (although for different reasons): Two Girls and One Boy!
I have to say, the magic of the big ultrasound does not wear off by the third time. It's just amazing to see the baby moving her little hands and feet and to see the heart beating and to be reassured that everything is as it should be. They even measured Sacha's cervix, which was nice and long, and that was reassuring, too, because she's already started having more Braxton Hicks contractions than during her last pregnancy. Of course, last time we only had one kid and she was working part-time, so this time is very different.
Anyway, this is all a very long way of saying that we are thrilled to have another daughter joining our family! On the way to the appointment, both kids were telling us how much Drizzle loved them, and us, which was incredibly cute, and we love her, too! Can't wait to meet her in person in April. Also, will post photos as soon as I can scan them.
Speaking of wiggling, we have a feisty one in there! The ultrasound tech could hardly get a couple of key measurements because of the baby's refusal to stay in one position. It was, in fact, extremely similar to Tali's 20-week ultrasound, in that Tali also refused to show her facial profile to the camera and generally really didn't want to cooperate.
Another similarity to Sacha's first pregnancy - she has an anterior placenta again, which is when the placenta is on the front of the belly instead of the back of the uterus. It makes it harder to feel the baby move early on, although Sacha has already felt Drizzle more than she had felt Talia by this point. Like I said, I think this one's going to be a feisty one! The baby is probably in there pummeling the heck out of that placenta. I fell asleep last night feeling her roll around in Sacha's belly, which has to be the greatest thing ever.
So, starting off right away with a strong sense of independence (or modesty?), the baby not only assumed a cross-legged position, but also had a hand down there to cover the important parts we were looking for. Eventually, she moved around enough for the tech to be pretty sure that we have a girl coming, but she wouldn't guarantee it. However, since the previous ultrasound in the OB's office made it very clear that the baby is a girl, we're pretty sure that Sacha is growing an internal American, as our friends at we are fambly might say.
It's funny, because we and almost everyone we knew (except my mom, who thought girl all along) thought this baby was a boy. We thought it would add balance to our family, and Mateo really wanted a little brother. However, I have been surprised by how little time it took me (and all of us) to get excited about having a little sister come along! I think it will be a ton of fun for Talia to have a sister, and Mateo will have an extra-special relationship with Apa (and the other men in his life) this way. And, we can go back to the original name of this blog (although for different reasons): Two Girls and One Boy!
I have to say, the magic of the big ultrasound does not wear off by the third time. It's just amazing to see the baby moving her little hands and feet and to see the heart beating and to be reassured that everything is as it should be. They even measured Sacha's cervix, which was nice and long, and that was reassuring, too, because she's already started having more Braxton Hicks contractions than during her last pregnancy. Of course, last time we only had one kid and she was working part-time, so this time is very different.
Anyway, this is all a very long way of saying that we are thrilled to have another daughter joining our family! On the way to the appointment, both kids were telling us how much Drizzle loved them, and us, which was incredibly cute, and we love her, too! Can't wait to meet her in person in April. Also, will post photos as soon as I can scan them.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Naming
These are all related, I promise:
1. Sacha and I are latecomers to TV shows and have recently become addicted to Glee, thanks to Apa, who was watching the Power of Madonna show once when we came back from date night.
2. We thought this quote from one of the Season 1 episodes, where the teenage dad (except he isn't, as it turns out) is trying to think of a name for his girlfriend's baby: "I figured we should name our kid something more original and poetic. Then I came up with the best baby name of all time: Drizzle!"
3. I love pet names and I have about a million nicknames for both of our kids.
4. We have been trying to come up with a nickname for baby #3 other than just referring to him/her as baby #3 or The Baby. We can't tell the kids the baby's real name this time, because they would just tell everyone we know. You can probably see where this is going...
5. Mateo and Natalia and I were out on a walk recently and I had them in our single stroller. I put one of them in the front seat and sit the other on the cupholder on top, sort of like one would do in a grocery cart. (This part of the stroller is surprisingly strong and it works like a charm, especially because our real double stroller is on the verge of losing a wheel). Anyway, I had Mateo up there while Tali sat in front and we were chatting about the new baby. I asked him what I thought we should name the baby, and it turns out that he must have heard Sacha and I talking about how funny the name Drizzle was, because he immediately suggested Drizzle. I laughed, but then I told Sacha later and we were like, hmmm...potential nickname?
5. Yes, that's right. Baby #3 will henceforth be known as Drizzle. We love it and we get a good giggle every time we say it. Of course, you know, we're laughing with baby Drizzle, not at him or her! It seems rather apropos, considering where we live. And, little Drizzle will have a real and proper name once s/he is born.
6. In the meantime, stay tuned for tomorrow night, when Drizzle's sex will be revealed!
1. Sacha and I are latecomers to TV shows and have recently become addicted to Glee, thanks to Apa, who was watching the Power of Madonna show once when we came back from date night.
2. We thought this quote from one of the Season 1 episodes, where the teenage dad (except he isn't, as it turns out) is trying to think of a name for his girlfriend's baby: "I figured we should name our kid something more original and poetic. Then I came up with the best baby name of all time: Drizzle!"
3. I love pet names and I have about a million nicknames for both of our kids.
4. We have been trying to come up with a nickname for baby #3 other than just referring to him/her as baby #3 or The Baby. We can't tell the kids the baby's real name this time, because they would just tell everyone we know. You can probably see where this is going...
5. Mateo and Natalia and I were out on a walk recently and I had them in our single stroller. I put one of them in the front seat and sit the other on the cupholder on top, sort of like one would do in a grocery cart. (This part of the stroller is surprisingly strong and it works like a charm, especially because our real double stroller is on the verge of losing a wheel). Anyway, I had Mateo up there while Tali sat in front and we were chatting about the new baby. I asked him what I thought we should name the baby, and it turns out that he must have heard Sacha and I talking about how funny the name Drizzle was, because he immediately suggested Drizzle. I laughed, but then I told Sacha later and we were like, hmmm...potential nickname?
5. Yes, that's right. Baby #3 will henceforth be known as Drizzle. We love it and we get a good giggle every time we say it. Of course, you know, we're laughing with baby Drizzle, not at him or her! It seems rather apropos, considering where we live. And, little Drizzle will have a real and proper name once s/he is born.
6. In the meantime, stay tuned for tomorrow night, when Drizzle's sex will be revealed!
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