Cal 31, Oregon 24

I would just like to say one thing.

GO BEARS!

Full speed

We have had quite the week! With the fall arriving and school in full gear, we have been busy. After a couple of months of fruitless job hunting on my part, Sacha and I talked it over and decided that it might make more sense for her to resume tutoring with a few of her past students. She makes considerably more doing that than I would at a social service job and would only have to do it a few hours a week on top of her teaching job...so we were leaning towards that and having me be a stay-at-home mom for awhile longer.

Then, in the course of 24 hours earlier this week, three places called and asked me to come in for interviews. Two of them, the ones I'm most interested in, are today. I'm going to go and do my best and we'll just see what happens from there. Sacha's afternoon schedule is already busy, so I would have to get a great offer to make juggling that all worthwhile.

Mateo is really going full speed these days, too. He's learned how to point and also is waving more consistently. He loooves to go to the park and push his stroller around on the grass. He even pushed it most of the way home the other day, with me following and steering as we very slowly progressed towards our house.

As part of the process of learning new things, M spends a lot of time expressing frustration. There's so much to do and he just doesn't quite know how to do it all. But, he is learning and we're hoping to have our happy boy back after he finishes learning how to walk. He's able to take several steps now, when he wants to, and I'm sure it's just a matter of time until he's running everywhere.

Here's a video Sacha took last week. The cuteness is just about too much for me.

Into the frontier

I believe that we are taking our first tentative, wobbly steps towards toddlerhood. Yes, I am referring to Sacha and me. Mateo may be learning to walk, but we are also learning to deal with this new creature in our lives - an almost-toddler! It's going to be an adjustment. M has always had quite the will of his own and now has more tools with which to express himself. It's amazing to see him turning into such a little person. And, it's a whole different ballgame around here with our frequently fussy Beba. He's on the cusp of doing all kinds of stuff and he can't do it yet and boy is he frustrated!



All of which is to say that I have a bunch of stuff I want to post about and haven't been able to get myself to do it yet. We have a great video Sacha took that I'm going to upload. Until then, here are some photos from this weekend and Zenaido's visit:

Curious Mateo

Thanks to Catherine and Mekka for the adorable onesie!

The boyz

Kraig, Liam's dad, just sent us this photo. So sweet!

Tottering towards mobility

Last night, while we were all just hanging out in the living room, Mateo pulled up on the rocking chair, let go, and took two tottering steps while Sacha and I gaped in amazement. He's been getting really solid with standing alone and he must have decided it was time to get going. We're so proud! He probably has quite a ways to go before he really walks, but this was an exciting step (har, har). Here's a video we got a few minutes later:



Also, here are some photos from recently:

Here are our friends Annie and Matt, from the Back to Guinea blog, on their way out of Portland and (eventually) back to West Africa! We all had a great time with the two world travelers.



And, here are a few shots of Mateo and his buddies Nils and Liam. I can't get over the cuteness of watching them all play together. It's like watching puppies roll around.

Pusher

We have a little pusher on our hands. He started by pushing his little Radio Fly.er wagon around the house (we have the video in an earlier post). That was fun for awhile, until he really got the hang of it and realized that it didn't turn. After a month or so of bashing into walls, he's moved on to the good stuff. He gets his little mitts on his strollers (the big one and the little one) and goes all around! He catches a ride on the dining-room-table-chair train and explores the living room. His crowning glory came today when our friend Caroline was over for dinner. He pushed our kitchen cart/chopping block thing, which is on wheels, out of the kitchen and all the way to the far end of the living room! It was just so freaking cute.

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I had a moment today in our baby and me group. Normally I try really hard not to compare kids and to appreciate all their unique little talents. But today, Mateo was pushing his stroller around the baby group room and showing everyone how he can stand on his own for several seconds...and then he did a great job of kicking the baby beach balls when we played a game of baby soccer...and I was just so proud. I wanted to make sure everyone saw that our child is obviously the most advanced baby who has ever lived. I felt somewhat silly, but hopefully that means I still have a few molecules of objective perspective left in my body.

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Annie posted a comment a few weeks ago asking if we thought people should have some idea what they're getting into when they decide to have kids, or if it's better to go into it unknowing. I've given this idea quite a bit of thought since Mateo was born, because the life change was so dramatic and all-encompassing that I've wondered many times if one could actually prepare for it. When I was pregnant, I was always so sure that something catastrophic was about to happen that I never gave the whole infant thing much thought. I figured that if we were lucky enough to get there, then I would deal with it! That led to me being able to really be in the moment after he was born, which was great and amazing, and also to being blindsided by how incredibly incompatible sleep and infants can be.

I mentioned to a friend awhile back that I didn't think anyone can really be prepared for having a child. One might think they're prepared, but the reality is so consuming that I think it's just about impossible to grasp before you're immersed in it. He said that for people who didn't have to pitch in to raise their siblings or take on an adult role in their family at an early age, that that was probably true. That made me think about all the ways privilege impacts us from an early age and how it, and its absence, has reverberating effects across generations.

For me, though, having a child has been one of those life-changing experiences that I probably could never have been prepared for. I do think that the fact that we had to very consciously go through a process that led to M's conception made us more prepared than a lot of people, who fall into parenthood by accident. But, it's one thing to know that you're going to have a baby and that everything will soon be different...and quite another to emerge from extreme sleep deprivation a couple of months into parenthood and realize that you and your life have really and truly been transformed.

Being a parent has changed me. I feel much more confident in daily life than I used to, which is kind of funny because I also have many more what am I doing? moments than ever before! I'm much more willing to say what needs to be said instead of worrying about hurting someone's feelings. And I get less anxious about new situations than I used to. I think that maybe being (jointly) responsible for the totality of another (tiny) person's well-being 24 hours a day and doing it every single day for 10 months has had that effect on me! Sometimes I feel like jumping out the window, but mostly I am filled with gratitude to the universe for bringing us to this point.

And at some point, probably far off in the distant future, I hope to sleep through the night again.

Day 2 of fifth grade

I have just had a wonderful two days of teaching half time, and spending time with M and A too! What a treat. Unlike my last year, I was not in tears within minutes of the start of the year. This is quite the improvement. . .

Here are the ways the school is different from ones I have been in over the past years.

• The students brought supplies to school - binders, paper, pencils, folders galore (in the past I was lucky if a few kids brought a few pencils)
• All but one student was on time for both days (in Oakland a third of my class was regularly tardy, and the school sometimes would keep them for 10 - 15 minutes to lecture to them, having them arrive 20 or 30 minutes into the class totally clueless)
• Very few loudspeaker announcements (At one school the principal got on the schoolwide loud speaker while school was in session and berated teachers for sending students to the office and stated out loud that she would not, under any circumstance suspend a student no matter what they did . . . that really improved the classroom structure . . . that same principal later in the year said that a child would be suspended immediately if he or she said any swear words. . . which had my students loudly saying things like I am just going to tucker that . . . "but, Ms. Luria, I wasn't swearing, I said" . . . you get the idea)
• 20 students in the classroom (yes, I know you have all heard about my first year where I started the year with 45 students, 40 desks in a bilingual 7th grade/8th grade split class where 15 students were placed in the class because they had Spanish sur names, but didn't actually speak Spanish, and at the same time I was supposed to be teaching ancient civilization to 20 students in Spanish (no textbook) and US history to the rest of the students (no textbook) in both English and Spanish at the same time! Joy)
  
• The kids seem amazingly well behaved (I'm not sure it this is mostly the kids, my skills or what, but I'm not going to ask too many questions. My behavior management strategy has four parts. Thank you Fred Jones:
1. Arrange the room so I can work the crowd and always be circulating around the students.
2. Teach with Say See Do teaching, or make every step auditory, visual and kinesthetic.
3. Manage students with body language. (Three mottos: "Don't do with your mouth what you can do with your body", "If you can, keep in private, not public", and "Discipline always comes before instruction")
4. Responsibility training - spend the last three to five minutes of each lesson playing learning games that review the material . . . but have the students earn that time through positive behavior.
   

So far, everyone is soooo friendly at the school. I am enjoying all of the students and the parents seem nice as well.

I am loving the part time schedule. It is the most wonderful thing in the world to be able to see Alayna and Mateo every afternoon and be finished with teaching. I'm just really enjoying myself.

He waves!

M learned how to wave yesterday. At least, we think he did. We were hanging out with some friends in a park after Sacha's first day of school (which went very well, by the way. Hopefully she'll write something about it soon...). When we left to go home, we said "bye!" and waved like we always do and Mateo started flapping one of his arms up and down. He's normally into arm flapping, but usually with both arms, so we didn't know if he was waving or flapping. We tried saying "bye! bye!" again and again he waved his arm. We did this probably 5 more times, with him grinning and giggling while he was waving. It was very, very cute and fun.

Of course, he seems to have forgotten how to do it today, but I guess that's probably how these things go.

Also, eating is going much, much better. We don't know if it's our concentrated effort to trust him and not pressure him into eating, or if it's that we've been holding him on our laps when we all eat instead of having him in his high chair, but he has been chowing down the past couple of days. It's very nice to see! We perused a book last weekend that really helped in this arena - it's called Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense. We highly recommend it.

Snips and snails and puppy dog tails

That's what little boys are made of, right? Our little boy seems to be trying to remake himself out of other materials. Over the past couple of days, we've noticed that if he seems to be working over something in his mouth, then there's probably something in there! I think his pincer grasp has evolved to the point that he can now pick up lots of random things. Case in point: On Monday, we went to the park and he was playing on the grass and by the wire fence that surrounds the play structure. We were both right there and playing with him. Suddenly, we notice that he looks like he's chewing on something, but we haven't given him anything to eat. We get him to open his mouth and discover a gummy-looking brown thing. My first thought was dog poo, but, thank god, it was just a piece of chewed-up cardboard. Still, gross!

Then, later in the day, we were cleaning out the office in our house and Mateo was playing on the floor while I sorted some papers. He briefly played with the aluminum foil on the window (which we put up to block the hot afternoon sun that bakes our house) and then went on to something else. Several minutes later, I was carrying him back to his room when I noticed that he was doing that chewing thing again...so Sacha and I opened up his mouth and pulled out an inch-long gob of aluminum foil! Aaaghh!!

By this point, we have realized that we really need to pay more attention - although we really thought we had been paying attention. Everything goes well until this afternoon, when Mateo and I find ourselves at Sacha's school, helping set up for the first day of school tomorrow. He's been in her room before and it seems pretty kid-safe, so we're letting him play around. Everything is fine and then I go to the bathroom and when I come back, Sacha tells me that she has just removed a staple from his mouth. Yes, a staple. AAAGGHHH!!

I know kids put everything into their mouths...but what I want to know is how did he do it? We were watching him all three times and somehow he snuck the contraband in anyway. One thing we have learned is that at least he doesn't try to swallow foreign objects right away - he chews them for a long time first - so that give us a little time to discover what has happened. Wish us luck!

10-month letter

Dear Mateo,

(Mama) You are 10 months old! It's always a bit surreal to have you turn over another month and this month seems even more that way. When we were out walking the other day, we passed a house where a tiny baby was wailing away and being walked and bounced by her grandmother. I thought about when you were that small and realized that it really was just a few months ago. In the beginning, it seems like the time goes so slowly...and even up until about six months it still seemed a little like that...but now the days just fly by.


I thought I'd start by listing some of your recent nicknames. It's a long list. I think it's quite funny that we liked your name partially because it has so much nickname potential and yet when we tend to use your full name when we use it at all! I have come up with a prodigious list of pet names to call you and am always making up new ones. Here's what we call you these days:

Mateo
Te-te
Mateito
Beba
Beba ballena
Beba ballena bear
Mr. Bear
Mr. Baby
Mr. Milky
Milkmaster of the universe
Chub-chub
Chunky monkey
Tweety bird
Crankypants (when appropriate)
Sweetie pie
Little love
Bebito
Calabaza

I always think that when you're older and we say your full name to get your attention, you won't have any idea who we're talking about!


(Mommy) This summer I've enjoyed being around with you during the day and getting to see you grow and change. You are learning to walk while holding only one hand, and can sometimes take a few steps that way. You are quite the two handed walker. You love it when we play patty cake, although you still need us to move your hands through the movements. You also love the itsy bitsy spider song and say, say oh playmate (a hand clapping song we both learned in Brownies). Anything involving hand movement is interesting and fun to you.


Speaking of your own hand movements, it seemed like for a day maybe you were starting to wave, but then that went away. You can, though, feed yourself cheerios, more cheerios and more cheerios. Actually, frequently that is the only thing you are interested in eating, but other times you enjoy a healthy variety of foods.

(Mama) Yes, food has been a major theme of this month. We've talked about it quite a bit on this blog. It's the whole push-pull between you learning to have some independence and control by feeding yourself and us making sure you're getting enough to eat while you acquire the fine motor control you need to get the food in your mouth! You have recently discovered a new favorite food item: cream cheese. You like it mainly if I am eating a bagel and I scrape all the cream cheese off the top and give it to you.

This morning, while I was talking on the phone to my friend, Catherine, you ate an entire bagel-top worth of cream cheese and then gobbled up a second helping. Sometimes you just love to eat and will open your mouth over and over again. Other times, you make horrible faces and just don't want anything. It will be interesting to see how this is going in a few months! Hopefully we'll look back and realize that we were just learning and pretty soon we all got the hang of it. We've also decided to start giving you some formula during the day as a supplement to solids and breastfeeding. You love it and guzzle it down with your meals, even if your meals are just Cheerios and nothing else!

I guess I should give you a little report on your sleeping. It's actually going quite well. Bedtimes are still somewhat tough, but I'm starting to expect that bedtime is just going to be challenging for us and it's really not so bad. You get yourself to sleep almost every night and you sleep soundly after you conk out. You've been waking up around 11 pm to have some milk and then usually around 4 or 4:30 am before you get up for the day around 6 am. Now that I'm very used to getting up in the night, I enjoy our nighttime cuddle times and often snooze with you, in our big comfy chair, after you fall asleep nursing. I think we'll know when the right time to give up the night feedings is. In fact, I hope that you'll just decide on your own at some point! For now, Mommy gets up with you nearly every morning, like the saint that she is, so that I can catch up on my zzzzzs.


You went through a brief period of separation anxiety early on in the month but now you're back to your old social self. We had a yard sale with some neighbors today and you charmed several generations of women who were helping run the yard sale. People always compliment you on your beautiful eyes and your general friendly nature. Of course, we're glad that other people think you're as fabulous as we do :)


You're also learning how to play with other babies. We've had several play dates recently with other little people and you always look like you're having a great time. You love to crawl around, grabbing for their toys and tumbling around with them like you're both little puppies. I just love watching you interact with other kids. It's also quite fun to watch you play with your toys. These days, right on schedule, you are into everything. You roam the house looking for things to pull out and push over and climb into. Your curiosity and inquisitiveness are helping you learn all about this world we live in.


Mateo, one of my favorite things recently has been bringing you into bed for a few minutes right after you wake up. You're usually so happy to see me and Mommy and you roll around and babble and play to your heart's content. It's a great way to start the day. And it's one of the best parts about you being this age. You just love to be with us - and we love to be with you! We're so lucky.


We love you, calabazito.


Besos y abrazos,
Mama y Mommy