Thursdays

Talia and I get to hang out together every Tuesday and Thursday morning, while her big brother is at preschool.  We have a fun standing playdate on Tuesdays, but Thursdays are usually open and I try to keep them that way so she can get all the attention for once! 

Today, we went to the Children's Museum and took a walk, and also read some books and played that she was a ghost around the house.  She's been in a rather challenging phase lately, throwing tantrums over the slightest of things and experimenting with defiance, so it's nice to have some one-on-one time to recharge my batteries. 

Here we are, morning buddies.  This photo is from our family reunion this summer, but I just found it on my phone and it sums things up nicely.  This kid has had me wrapped around her little finger since the moment she was born, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Back in May

Today was our last neighborhood farmer's market of the season.  It was bittersweet, because we've finally started to get these warm, gorgeous, sunny afternoons that make going to the farmer's market so much fun.  There's a great park right there, so you can even get dinner and just eat and play until bedtime rolls around.

On the other hand, we've been missing this great children's music performer who plays every Wednesday at the exact same time as the farmer's market, so now we can go every week if we want.  He sings the same songs nearly every time, but the kids love him and I have to admit that the songs are catchy even on the 10th go around!

When we left the market, we said, goodbye market!  See you in May!  And we talked about how we should have our new baby by then and be ready to introduce him or her to the fun of lounging in the sun on Wednesday afternoons, eating fresh berries and peaches, listening to local music, and playing at the park until your parents drag you home to bed.  It's always a nice thing to look forward to throughout the loooong rainy and cold months we have ahead of us.  Hey strawberries, can't wait to see you again in May!

Isn't she lovely?

Belly shot at 13 weeks, 2 days.   I may be biased, but I think she and the belly both look fabulous!

Adventures

We know, or know of, several families that have recently welcomed new babies - all of them second children.  Watching them adjust takes me back to the time when Tali was a brand new baby and getting out of the house with both kids was a huge accomplishment, no matter where we were going.  Our kids were close enough together that just getting together all their gear and getting it and them out of the house seemed sometimes like a herculean undertaking.

So, to my former self of two years and three months ago, I give you today.  I hope that when we transition to having three kids, that we will eventually be able to have days like this again and have it be no big deal. 

The kids had their first music class of the semester today and we decided to take the bus.  I threw some snacks, water, and an extra diaper into a backpack and off we went.  We had to take one bus, transfer to another one, and then walk a couple of blocks to the music class building...except that the second bus stop was closed, so we had to book it down the sidewalk to the next stop before the bus arrived.  I wouldn't have even seen the next stop if Mateo hadn't pointed it out, and I made sure to give him lots of praise for his eagle eyes! 

We got to the class and did lots of singing and dancing.  Especially since Talia still mostly wants to be carried around, those classes are kind of a workout for me as well as for the kids! 

Then, we started what seemed like an easy trip home.  Two different buses, but no big deal, right?  Wrong.  We took one bus to a major transit hub about two miles south of our house, only to discover that the next bus we needed wasn't coming for 40 minutes...and Sacha and I have waited for this bus before only to have it never show up.  It was noon, the kids were hungry and cranky and I was sick.  Did I mention that I have a cold?  Not a bad one, but I wasn't feeling the greatest.

So, we took the next best bus and had to walk about half a mile home from its nearest stop to our house.  There was much screaming and carrying on on the part of our daughter until I finally gave up and just carried her home. 

Then, after lunch, she went down and I did my usual workout while Mateo had quiet time.  Today was a struggle in that regard, but he finally settled down and started playing teacher to his imaginary class.

Around 3 pm, we got Natalia up and both kids got into their swimsuits, since it was hot outside and we had agreed to go to a park with a water feature.  We swung by our favorite coffee shop for a snack (this alone would have been my whole afternoon activity when she was an infant, and instead we were in and out in less than 15 minutes), and went to the park.  Misfortune struck when we discovered that the water was turned off for the season.  Oh, the unfairness!! 

Luckily, I convinced them to try another park, one where I knew we already had friends hanging out.  We crossed the river to get there and had a lovely hour or so splashing in the water and the adults sporadically chatting.  Then, we went home, reunited with Mommy, had dinner, took a walk around the neighborhood, and the kids went to bed.  Whew!

The thing is, yes, it was a busy day, but not overwhelming and actually it was mostly fun.  I'm enjoying the fact that we can go out without a stroller and that both kids are getting old enough to enjoy the same activities.  They're such fun little people.  Today, when we were walking after dinner, Talia started rocking out to some neighbors' booming music and Mateo very sweetly held her hand and shepherded her across the street.  It's so easy to get swept up in the general frustration of dealing with a two year old and a three year old all day, but it's also really great to have moments of enjoying them just the way they are.

I'm not sure what the point of all this is - I guess just to show a snapshot of how our lives are right now.   A friend today, one of the ones with a new baby, was quoting whoever said that with small children "the days are long and the years are short" or something like that.  That's exactly where we are right now, and I guess that's how it should be.  It's funny to think that we'll look back at this time as flashing by, when right now there is so much time in the day and so many things to pack into each one!

Baby photos

All this talk of babies has the kids very curious about what they were like as babies. Thanks to our rather extensive documentation of their babyhood, we have lots of photos and such to share with them. These photos were taken at the same time, with Talia on the couch looking at a photo book we made when she was born, and Mateo looking through the first blog book (that covers his first year).

Number Three!

Remember when we went on vacation to the San Juan Islands this past summer?  Well, we brought someone with us who we didn't tell you about.

We didn't tell anyone about it, actually.  Who was it?  Apa!  And why was he coming with us?  Because we had finally decided the answer to the question of whether or not we would have a third child.  And, the answer to that question was yes!

As you may know, we'd been back and forth on this for quite a long time, but eventually decided to do it and Sacha decided she wanted to be pregnant.  In our typical way, once we decided, we wanted to go for it.

However, Sacha was going to be ovulating next when we were at family camp up at Orcas Island.  Not to be deterred, we paid for Apa to come and spend the weekend at a little hotel on the water, and we did family camp activities in the mornings and inseminated Sacha for the three afternoons/evenings he was there.  It was our little secret.  And, she ovulated right on cue the last day he was there.

Then, (surprisingly even though we knew it was a possibility), just like that, Sacha was pregnant!  On the first try!  Just like last time!  Amazing.  She's had a bit of a rough first trimester, with yucky sickness and exhaustion and has been doing a lot of sleeping.  However, now that she's on the cusp of the second trimester, she's starting to get some energy back.  And, thanks to us finally knowing what to ask for, she got a prescription anti-nausea medication that has made a huge difference.

We saw the little fetus on ultrasound at eight weeks and then heard the heartbeat yesterday afternoon at nearly 13 weeks.  So, this seems like this right time to share the news.  

Number Three is due April 2, 2011.  I think it would be fitting if the birth happened on April 1, because we already have a Halloween baby, a summer solstice baby, a day-after-Christmas parent, and a Juneteenth parent.  This kid should have a birthday to remember too, don't you think?  Not that I have any control, but it's fun to speculate.

Here's a photo of Sacha and Mateo and her little belly a week or so ago.

Anyway, the kids are excited, we are excited, and the little bean seems to be growing quite happily in there.  We can't wait for spring!

Bookworm

This is how Mateo's been keeping himself occupied during quiet time.  Our deal is that he can sit and read or play with his toys while I do my workout (exercise video - wahoo!), and then we can play together after that.  Today, I looked over and saw him reading so peacefully and had to grab the camera.  He read nearly this entire 67-page book aloud to himself in the 45 minutes or so that I was exercising.  He only stopped because I turned off the video and, of course, that was his signal to request my attention immediately again.

 There's a story about me when I was little that we were at my grandma's house and I interrupted a conversation between my mom and my grandma to tell them that I had just finished the book I had been reading.  My grandma said something to my mom about how there's no way I could have understood that book or read it so fast or something (I've always been a fast reader), so my mom asked me about the book and I told them in detail about the plot.  I hope this doesn't sound like I'm patting myself on the back!  It just came to mind when I saw Mateo curled up with his book today.  I'm so happy that we have another bookworm on our hands!

Experiments

We had a big experimental day today. We spent all morning at the zoo, exploring the exhibits and investigating the animals. Highlights included the penguins, which had Natalia laughing uproariously, the hippos, and the cheetah.

Then, we came home and put Tali down for her nap. Today was one of Mateo's no-nap days, so he played quietly in the front room while I did my workout. This has been working pretty well. He'd prefer to spend all of naptime glued to my side, but since that's not an option, he does okay with it this way, at least so far.

Anyway, the deal we have is that we can have special time together after I finish my workout. Today, Mateo wanted to do a water experiment. He decided this all on his own. He picked four things from our container garden (lettuce, basil, chives, and mint) and put them in glasses of water. We then sipped them all to see how they tasted. The mint and basil waters were delicious, the lettuce was, well, like nothing, and wow, the chive water was VERY chive-y! Here's our little scientist:

Then, after I went to therapy, I came home and took the kids to the farmer's market. It was a little bittersweet, because it was the second-to-last one of the year! I can't believe farmer's market season is almost over. I just love that market and look forward to Wednesday afternoons for half the year for just that reason....and then lament its absence for the other half! Anyway, the kids and I had dinner there and then played at the playground until it was time to go home. They both did new things - Mateo went down the biggest firepole yet all on his own and Tali climbed up a ladder thing that she's never tried before. They're both getting so big and coordinated!

Finally, awhile back my uncle told me that he takes pictures of the inside of his house periodically, because things change all the time that we don't notice and one can look back at photos of the surroundings and remember "oh, such and such was going on then and I had forgotten about it," etc. Anyway, I haven't managed to quite photograph the house yet, but I did want to catch the kids in a typical afternoon pose. Here's Tali very gradually waking up after her afternoon snooze and Mateo snacking after not napping.

Fancy shoes

Anybody remember these?

 These were some fancy shoes gifted to Mateo at birth from an acquaintance.  They're the Lebron shoes for infants and Google told me then that they were not cheap.  Unfortunately, Mateo wore them for only a short time before he grew out of them, and back then we were too fanatical about our new walker wearing only soft-soled shoes to let him wear high-tops anyway, so they went down to our basement and into storage practically new.   Here's Mateo around that age with Apa, who was in Portland on a visit and on the verge of landing the job that let him move here:

Back in the present day, Tali has been devotedly wearing a pair of Pumas handed down to her by an older friend, but they finally got too small and had to be put away.  I went down to the basement to see if I could find anything and I saw the LeBron shoes.  They looked about right, and sure enough, they fit perfectly.  Tali loves her fancy shoes, as we've been calling them, and they're perfect for the rainy weather that has been upon us.  Here she is with Apa showing them off. 

These kids, they are just the greatest, basketball shoes or not.  After Sacha came home and we got home from the park this evening, I went out for a quick break at a coffee shop.  I was ordering a pastry that I knew Mateo would like and I mentioned to the barista person that my son loves this particular thing.  And then I was just struck by gratitude, again, that I get to say "my son" and "my daughter" and that Sacha and I have two beautiful kids.  

Even almost four years into it, I am frequently thunderstruck by just how lucky we are.  When I was in college and so angst-ridden, I could never in my wildest dreams have imagined that things would turn out like this.  Even on days when I am up to my eyeballs in frustration, I try not to take it for granted.  We are so lucky.  I was recently rereading Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott and somewhere in it she says that she thinks most people pray one of two things:  either "thank you" or "please help me (or someone else)."   That really rings true to me and, while I wouldn't say that I pray frequently, I guess by that definition, I do.  Thank you rings in my ears all the time. 

Bullseye

I posted this on facebook, but am going to cross-post it here too, just for posterity.  And, of course, because I am me, I will go into much more detail here than is actually needed.

Last winter, when the house next to us was being built, a tremendous amount of earth was moved to build it.  Much of this earth was neatly trucked away, but an annoying amount washed across the alley that separates our houses and settled on the street next to our house. It's been there ever since:  an annoying sludge that is dusty when it's not raining and just yucky when it is.  It makes getting into an out of the car even more of a process than it already is with two young children.  Admittedly, some of the dirt washes down there from our own garden, but the house-building process made the dirt situation much worse.

So, I had the kids outside "helping" me hack back some of our plants today and for some reason, got motivated to deal with the dirt.  I shoveled up as much of it as possible and then got out the big broom and the hose.  By this time, Tali had retreated inside to camp out on the potty (once she gets on it, it's almost impossible to get her off it!), so Mateo was the only kid I could enlist to help.  He decided to take the hose and I took the broom. 

He actually did really well for quite a while, and we washed down the street right outside our house and I pushed most of the water down to the drain at the end of the block.  (Insert here to Portland street sweepers:  do you have a schedule?  do you ever actually sweep the streets?  When we lived in Oakland, there was a regular, weekly schedule, but here, they come every so often with no warning and if your car happens to be parked in front of your house, or if even a plant is sticking out into the street by more than a few inches, they go right around and you're out of luck for another three or four months.  I harbor much resentment about this.)

Anyway, here's where we get to what I posted on facebook.  I was busily sweeping the water down to the drain when I heard someone cry "ACK!" and turned around to see that our son had turned the hose on two passing, unsuspecting cyclists.  It was on the super-strong jet setting, so I'm sure they really got blasted.  He had actually told me a few minutes before that he was going to spray a bicyclist if he saw one, but I (#1) told him not to and (#2) didn't think he would actually do it.  Luckily they just kept riding and didn't seem to mind too much, but it was rather mortifying.  

Three year olds = so unpredictable!  Let's just say that he'll be sticking to watering plants far away from the street from now on.   And, I'm sure those poor people will give our house a wide berth from now on, as well!

I ate a beetle by mistake today

I did. The kids were riding their bikes down towards some friends' house and we stopped to pick golden raspberries at the home of a friendly neighbor. Despite the sun's abrupt disappearance at the end of August, these people's berries are actually still ripening. We were happily picking and eating when suddenly I noticed this horrible taste in my mouth. It was part raspberry, part just WRONG. I spit it out on the ground and there it was - a beetle that I had partially eaten. I put it out of its misery and will never look at that group of raspberry bushes the same way again! Luckily, the kids didn't notice and I didn't say anything. I did notice after that that the raspberry canes were crawling with beetles, so I guess I'm lucky I only ate one!

In other news, we had a nice family morning this morning. We had a friend over for dinner last night (this was big for us - we have no social life in the evenings anymore). We had spaghetti with homemade tofu nut balls - like meatballs without the meat and soooo good - and salad and bread and all that good stuff. We had lots of yummy sourdough bread left over this morning, so we decided to make it into french toast. Good move. Yum. The kids even ate most of it, which was impressive because it was new and therefore deserving of much suspicion.

Then we went out to a new nature park in an industrial area of Portland. Apparently it was a garbage dump in the 90s and has been cleaned up and turned into a nature area. It was literally in the middle of factories and run down houses, so, shall we say, it didn't really fit the neighborhood, but it was still fun. We checked out the lake there and had a snack and wandered around the short trail there.

Seriously, Portland, what is UP with the gray weather? Nonetheless, the lake was pretty and boy, the algae was blooming!

Then, we hit a nearby park to do some more playing. Mateo showed off his skills at sliding down the fire pole and was very proud.

Then, we came home and I took the kids out on their bikes and then came that unfortunate beetle.

Here's hoping this afternoon is mellow and free of any more accidental insect ingestions. I'm thinking I might take the kids to the library and then I'm gonna dunk them in the bath. Maybe we'll make cookies. It's raining, again, again, again, so cookie making might be just what the doctor ordered. In the meantime, Portland, you need to get your act together and give us the gorgeous autumn that we so richly deserve after such a pathetic excuse for a summer!

Progress and a farewell

I have a confession to make.  I am an inappropriate laugher.  I laugh in situations that call for sobriety, sadness, paying respects, or just when things are awkward.   I don't know why I do it, but it's like getting a coughing jag in the middle of church - once it starts, you just can't stop it! 

In fact, at my own grandmother's funeral, who I loved dearly and still think of all the time, I couldn't stop giggling.  Perhaps it was the fact that my dad had the organist playing Cal fight songs that set me up (it was brilliant, because my grandma was a big Cal fan and the organist played them so slowly that none of us even realized it wasn't funeral music for a long time), but when the service concluded with an unbalanced relative leading us in every single off-key verse of Amazing Grace, I couldn't hold it in any longer.  I tried to pretend I was sobbing uncontrollably, but I don't know how well I pulled that off.

I felt guilty about this for a long time, but finally accepted that it's just how I am and there's not much to be done.  And, in fact, today, at the age of 32, I miraculously converted from a guilt-ridden funeral laugher to a funeral crier.  I went to the funeral of the wife of a man who manages part of my family's company.  She died suddenly last week and tomorrow would have been her 60th birthday.  It was a beautiful service and my eyes just kept welling up.  I felt so bad for her husband and their daughter, who is about my age, I think.  I don't know if I've reached a higher level of emotional maturity or if becoming a mom has just made me cry at everything, but I was extremely relieved not to descend into a laughing jag in that setting.  I hope this means that I'm cured forever!  I've got my fingers crossed.

PS:  Of course, it goes without saying that I hugged my kids and my wife a little tighter today after I got home.  And, that I'm thinking of this poor man and his daughter and everything they're going to have to go through.  It just all seems so unfair, and yet I know these things happen all the time.  The funeral was a strong nudge to appreciate everything I have today, because today is all we really ever have.

PPS:  This should be the topic for another post, but the funeral brought up the whole issue of death again with Mateo.   He really wanted to know what had happened to the deceased woman and was she in heaven like our cat, Lucy.  I've found myself telling him that people go to heaven after they die.  It's funny, because I don't believe in the traditional view of heaven, and I certainly don't believe in hell, but I do believe in God in some way and I do believe that there's something after this life. 

Sacha and I both feel strongly that we don't want to tell our kids that we don't know for sure what happens after we die, for various reasons.  It's been easier to say that people die and go to heaven to answer his questions, but that word is pretty charged and I wish there was a better way to explain things.  This seems to be the theme of the week!

All done with mommy's milk

Since I started working, Natalia has stopped nursing. For a lot of the summer she was just nursing once or twice a day. Sometimes she would want milk in the morning. Other days she would go for both the morning and after nap feeding, but the nursing time started getting shorter and shorter. And frequently, she would just want one side, and then say, "All done. Milk cup. Wanna milk cup." So, I knew that my days were probably limited.

Then I started work. For whatever reason, my starting work seems to have coincided with her saying that she no longer wants any milk from me. Honestly, although I feel a bit sad about it, she was getting to be quite the rambunctious nurser. I would rather just have cuddle time than having her kick around while somewhat nursing for 3 minutes. On the other hand, I have loved nursing her and I feel a bit sad about it ending. I thought she would nurse for a bit longer, but I guess that is not what was in store.

I think my favorite way of nursing her was in the early morning when she would cuddle up next to me in bed. On those days before school, it was a moment of feeling calm and just so happy. More than anything else, I think I will miss the early morning nursing sessions.

Out

At Mateo's preschool, in his group, there is a little girl who is onto us.

It all started last spring, when Sacha and I went away for the weekend and Apa stayed with the kids. One of Mateo's preschool classmates was having a birthday party that weekend and Mateo really wanted to go, so we asked Apa if he would take the kids and he said yes. I don't know if the other three-year-olds in the group had any idea that Mateo had two moms or not, but having his dad show up at the party really got their attention!

Since then, every day, and I mean EVERY DAY, that I pick Mateo up from preschool, this one little girl has questions for me. Lots of them. They're always eating lunch when I get there, so she's got me as a captive audience while Mateo finishes eating. Why does Mateo have two moms? Where's his dad? Where's his other mom? Are you a boy or a girl? Well, you look like a boy. (This last one is hilarious, because this kid's straight mother's hair is shorter than mine).

When we've explained our family structure to Mateo (and Natalia, but she's really too young to understand anything like this) we say that Mommy and Mama are his parents and that he also has a daddy, Apa. He's been experimenting with calling Apa Daddy instead, and then looking to see what kind of reaction he gets. We, in our typical way, did a ton of reading before having kids and learned that it's very common for kids with two moms to go through a big daddy phase at some point, so we've been expecting it. We count ourselves happy that our kid has a dad to build a relationship with, regardless of what he's called.

Anyway, I digress. Explaining our family to our own kid is one thing, but explaining it to a preschool classmate is something completely different. What the heck do I say to this girl? I've been mostly just answering her questions as they come up, but it's easy for that to get kind of mixed up. For example: Are you a boy or a girl? A girl. Are you Mateo's mom? Yes. Does Mateo have a daddy? Yes. Where's Mateo's daddy? He's at work. Does Mateo have two moms? Yes. Where's Mateo's other mom? At work. What do we have now? A confused preschooler!

Having talked to her mom briefly this summer, I don't think this kid's family has any problem with lesbian moms, but I still find myself mentally flailing about during these interactions. I don't want to give her too much information, because that's really for her parents to do, but I don't want to lie either.

And, our family situation is relatively uncommon for both the gay and straight ends of the spectrum. We know quite a few other lesbian families and only one of them has a known donor that they refer to as Dad. We also know lots of straight families of various configurations. Don't get me wrong - we're absolutely clear that Sacha and I are the kids' parents, legally and in every other way. And, luckily for all of us, Apa is an important part of our lives and the relationship he has with the kids is important to all of us. It's just that we don't fit easily into any box, even the alternative ones.

In fact, Mateo's preschool friend is clearly onto us now, because she threw in a new curveball this morning. Well, she said accusingly, after she'd finished her normal questions, my friend "Jane" has two moms and NO DAD! Like, what are you going to say to that, lady? Clearly, this girl is going to be a lawyer or a judge or something. But it does remind me that questions about our family aren't going to start off in the nebulous future - they're here now. I just never imagined that they would first come from a three-year-old! And such a very curious one, at that.

This afternoon = epic fail

Mateo's on an every other day nap schedule, which needs to be adjusted.  He really needs to nap on preschool days (Tues and Thurs) or he becomes possessed as if by a demon by mid-afternoon.   However, as we're still working out the kinks, he didn't nap today.  After Tali got up, we went to preschool swim time as a local indoor pool/community center.  We'd been warned that the water was on the cool side and it was.  Teo would have been happy to stay for hours, while his sister just wanted to sit on the edge and shiver.  He had a great time roaming the shallow end and having me catch him going down the slide.

After about half an hour, she said she was all done, and thus commenced the rest of our afternoon and evening of tantrum-ing children.  First, Mateo yelled and screamed about leaving the pool, then about getting into the car, and then just about life in general.  Talia threw in a huge fit about exactly which room she would use her potty in.  By the time Sacha got home, I was ready to jump out the window.  Luckily, she sent me off for a little alone time and, despite the fact that the kids were still acting beasty when I got back, we all made it to bedtime in one piece.  Barely.  Let's hope tomorrow will be better!

In the meantime, here are the kids before all the trouble started, in their swim suits.  Tali is very proud to have a rash guard as part of her new swim suit, just like her big brother.

Ancestry

I've noted before that my family has deep roots on the west coast, and in the pacific northwest in particular.  On my mom's side, one set of my grandmother's grandparents came out to Oregon on the Oregon Trail.  Her grandfather, who was a toddler at the time, lost both his parents on the journey to Oregon and was lucky to have about 8 siblings who banded together to keep the family together and housed and fed.  In fact, at my grandma's house, she has a chair that came across the country on the covered wagon.  Its legs are sawed off to prevent tipping as the wagon jerked along.  Amazing.  On my dad's side, we have an ancestor named Patrick Gass who was a member of the Lewis and Clark expedition.  He kept a journal which I haven't read, but which my dad has a copy of. 

One of my mom's brothers, my uncle Terry, has become our resident geneologist.  He's found that we're part of the line descended from William Bradford, who was a governor of the Plymouth colony, and recently sent out a fascinating email.  In it, he said that he's been doing a lot of research on a geneology website and discovered that one of our ancestors was Native American.  Her name, ultimately, although I doubt this was her original name, was Anne Philip.  She went on to have a son named John Stanton, presumably with a white man.  Her parents were the Pokanoket chief, Metacom, and his wife, Wootonckusake Metacomet.  During the time of Anne Philip's childhood, relations between the colonists and the Native Americans were reported to be good, but by the time her grandson, Samuel Stanton, was born, things had soured into all-out war.  Samuel Stanton seems to have fought on the side of the colonists.  The war, known as "Metacom's Revolt," ultimately ended up in massacres on both sides and the colonists ultimately decimating the Pokanoket tribe.

As it happens, I just started reading A People's History of the United States, by Howard Zinn.  I certainly should have read it before now, but now I am reading it and it's fascinating.  In the first chapter, on relations between Native Americans and colonists, Zinn mentions the outrageous amount of bloodshed provoked by the colonists, and one of the battles he mentions is Metacom's Revolt.  In the first place, it's crazy to think that my family is related in a very distant way to both sides of this war.   Secondly, it makes me wonder how it all went down, back in the day.  Did Anne Philip fall in love with a white man?  Did they have a relationship or marry?  It seems like she may have, since she has an English-sounding last name.  Or was it a less pleasant encounter?  Did she keep contact with her son and grandson, who clearly allied themselves with the colonists?   Did she have other children?   I wish I could go back in time and see how it all played out.

I can't do that, though, so I guess this is about as far as I can go with this.  I've always felt a certain amount of white guilt, for all the things Europeans inflicted on Native Americans and African Americans and pretty much any other people of color they came across.  This is the first time I've ever known about a connection with a Native American in my family, and the fact that the situation was so complicated makes me unsure how to feel about it all.  I just wanted to write down my thoughts before they float out of my head.  And, I'm really grateful to my uncle for doing all that research.  I've always been fascinated by people and their stories, and learning more about the story of my own family is powerful for me. 

Variations on a theme

We had a simply lovely morning this morning - it was sunny and the kids and I went to the farmer's market.  Then, we dropped by a friend's house right across the street and got to see them AND hold their new baby bunnies and feed their chickens.  The kids were in heaven.  I tried to soak up the sun and fun for all it was worth, because who knows how long it will last?

Anyway, it was a no-nap day for Mateo, so after I put Talia down and went for a quick run (an aside:  I had hurt my knee and hadn't run for a couple of weeks, so I just went really easy and it felt fine.  Whew!), I asked Mateo if he wanted to have some special Mama time.  Talia and I have time alone together all the time when he's at preschool, but he and I almost never do.  He said yes, so I took our big boy to our favorite coffee shop and then to Powell's downtown. 

Man, that kid is growing up!  It seems like he's taken some kind of leap from three-and-a-half to almost-four.  And he continually amazes us with what he can do.  As we were walking to the coffee shop, we passed a small fancy brewing store and he said "Mama, what does Bridgetown Beerhouse mean?"  He reads anything and everything, or at least that's the way it seems.  His one hangup is abbreviations like Mrs. or Dr., which he insists on reading as "Durr."  I have a shirt that says Dr. Seuss on it and he always says "Durr Suess," which never fails to crack me up.

We had a really nice time just hanging out together.  I'm making a mental note to make this happen more often. 

Then, we capped off the day with a delicious dinner with Apa.  We had heirloom tomatoes from our neighbor's garden, amazing Yukon Gold potatoes that we just harvested from our garden, sauteed beet greens, hot rolls, and burgers.  YUM.  I can't believe tomorrow's Monday already.  It felt like we got to go back to summer for a minute, but it was so short.  I guess that's how it's going to be!  Here's hoping that this week will go well for all involved.  Poor Sacha has a cold already from her new fifth graders and we're crossing our fingers that we don't all get it.  Happy end of the weekend!

Bigness

I don't know if it's the start of school or the change of seasons, but our kids seem to have hit a growth spurt.  Tali seems taller and Mateo seems heavier.  I weighed them tonight and their tried-and-true ten pound weight gaps still holds true:  Tali is 23.6 pounds and Mateo is 33.6!   Given their relative smallness for their ages, they'd probably make great gymnasts if they ever had the inclination.

Anyway, they've been doing all these new things!  I thought I'd make a list of things I've noticed recently.

1.  Tali can climb into her crib when the side is down, and can also climb up onto all sorts of other things.  I didn't realize this until I found her in her crib several times and couldn't remember if I had put her there or not (hello, long-term sleep deprivation).

2.  Mateo can climb up onto the counter in our kitchen.  He just steps on the bottom drawer when it's pulled out and gets himself up there.  It wasn't long ago that he couldn't even reach the top drawer and now he can unload the silverware from the dishwasher without even a stool.

3.  Everyone is commenting that Natalia is taller, which she is.  Also, she usually submits to having her hair done as best as I can do it, which isn't very well.  This is the part I always dreaded about having a girl - how to do their hair?  Especially because I never really figured it out for myself.  But, our little barrettes and pigtails are working for now and she actually seems to like them sometimes.

4.  Mateo has formed strong opinions about his hair and he wants it short.  Really short.  Today, he requested and got a hair cut, despite the fact that his hair was barely touching his ears!  It turned out really well for our whole family, because Apa had stopped by to help me bring up a heavy Ikea box from the basement (I'm going to try it for organizing our pantry) and out of the blue offered to take the kids for Mateo's haircut so Sacha and I could go out to coffee!  As my mom later commented, what a great guy!  We went and checked out some of the food carts nearby and the kids had some fun time with their dad.  Thanks, Apa!

5.  Mateo has mastered the firepole at the park!  He can do it all by himself.  It's rather amazing - both that he can do it and that I can lay off the helicopter parenting long enough to let him. 

6.  Mateo has been initiating conversations daily about two specific dangerous things:  motorcycles and cigarettes.  He always wants to know why those things are dangerous and why people ride them or smoke them.  I used to have a motorcycle, so I definitely understand the fun of them, but obviously I know how dangerous they can be.  It seems like a fine line to walk between explaining the dangers but also not coming down too hard and making motorcycles or cigarettes forbidden, and therefore attractive, items.  I don't know what he's wrestling with in there, but probably the contradiction between the obvious danger of motorcycling and smoking and the reality that a lot of people do both and have fun/get addicted with/to them.  He seriously asks me every day, and it's only that infrequent because I had to set a limit when he wanted to ask about it several times a day!

6.  I don't know, they just seem like such big kids these days.  We met some friends' three-week-old baby the other day (so cute!) and Tali, who never seems big compared to anybody, seemed like SUCH a big girl all of the sudden.  I love the kid they're growing into being, if that makes any grammatical sense.

Here are some photos from dinner tonight.  First, Teo in his new shorter 'do.  Then, my lovely wife.  Then, the kids with their new pirate tattoos that I impulse-bought them at the grocery store this afternoon.  They are so proud of their tattoos.  SO PROUD!  They can't get enough of them.  Mateo has a cannon and Tali has a shark.

Finally, two shout-outs:  first, to my parents and sister, who are flying to Europe tonight and tomorrow!  Hopefully their 9/11 flights will go smoothly and they'll have a great trip.  And, secondly, to Megan, for finishing her last day of work and heading off for some vacation time before starting grad school.  Congrats!

Photo wall

Inspired by our friend, Wendy, and some advice she gave me in a semi-recent post, I decided to follow through on a long-held idea and consolidate most of our family photos on one wall.  I've taken about a zillion photos with my new digital SLR (thanks again, Mom and Dad!) and I had asked Wendy how she chooses the photos she prints, since she's an amazing photographer. 

She suggested picking one or two photos and getting them in large sizes (ie, 16x20) and then designing the rest of the wall around them.  It took some sorting, but in the end it wasn't hard to come up with my current favorite photos of each of our kids.  I then took my second and third choices and ordered those as 5x7s. 

Then, Apa and I went to Ikea and bought a bunch of frames.  Simultaneously, I reorganized our other wall hangings so that my other favorites kid photos (of the kids as babies) are on the same wall but on the other side of the archway to the kitchen.  I absolutely LOVE the way it turned out.  It highlights our kiddos and the nature of our family right now, while also letting the rest of our main living area have more simple, kid-free decorations. 

I took some photos tonight of the new arrangement, and they didn't come out so well, but I'm going to post them anyway.  Yay for new pictures!  And thanks again to Wendy for her advice.  It really helped me get things together in a way that our family will enjoy for a long time to come.

Here's what I came up with:

Here's Teo's section, although it looks much more orange than it really is because I had to turn off the flash...

Here's Tali's section - same thing with the overdone orange effect!

Here's the other side of the archway, with Mateo's one-year-old photos on the left and Tali's cute baby chub on the right

Summer

On the last day of summer, we were coming home from getting ice cream and the kids were racing each other to the park.  It was not too much of a contest in the end, but they both crashed out on the grass for a break before a barbeque, which came right before bedtime and before the first day of school tomorrow.

There was hugging...

conspiratorially smiling....

and, finally, dashing off again.  Just like summer is doing. 

 
Here's to a great 2010/11 school year!

PS: Yes, they are wearing Halloween shirts.  I found them on sale at Fred Meyer and I just couldn't pass them up.  Something about having a Halloween baby has made me a sucker for all fall-related clothing!

Comparisons

When I was going through photos for the hiking post, I found one of us all eating at a picnic table.  We took a photo of this same group (us and Sacha's parents) picnicking a little over a year ago, in Beaverton on Mother's Day weekend 2009.  I dug up the old photo and thought it might be interesting to compare the two.  Here they are!

This year:

Last year:

Hiking

We rarely make it out to the Columbia Gorge, even though it's pretty close by, so we thought we'd try a hike out there while Sacha's parents were visiting recently.  We didn't end up quite at the trail we thought we were heading to, but it turned out great.  We did a little walk for the kids and then had a nice picnic lunch before heading home.  Here are some photos of what was a beautiful summer day!

Here's Poppa carrying Tali

Here are a few of our adventurers...

The main attraction

Fading fast before lunch

Much happier after eating!

The fam

On the bridge on our walk back to the car

Zonked

Just a few minutes ago, I accused my wife of trying to commandeer our daughter as her teddy bear for the night.  She was getting ready to put Mateo down for the night, but had also gotten Tali tucked in next to her and the three of them were preparing to sleep in one big pile.  We are all zonked - we had a big day! 

We started out by going to Sacha's school to do final prep work this morning, followed by a quick bakery trip.  Then, I took the kids out to my grandma's house to watch her new deck being built (and to play and catch up) and then Talia fell asleep on the way home.  After getting her into her bed, Mateo and I set out to the library.  Naptime has been a long struggle with him this week and I was just sick of it, so I took advantage of Sacha being home to get out of the house. 

He rode his balance bike all the way to the library and back!  He did have one big wipeout, but recovered pretty quickly with the promise of bandaids when we got home.   Then, we had a brief visit from Sacha's parents, who were on their way through town, and then swimming lessons, and then a meet the teacher thing at Mateo's preschool, and then burritos as a quick dinner on the way home!  A great end of summer day, but it wiped us all out.  Here are the three hibernators planning their long winter sleep:

 Plus, as an added bonus, here's a photo of Apa and the kids as we left for date night on Wednesday.  They were going around with Mateo "carrying" his sister on his shoulders and Apa making the whole thing work.  He is really great with them and they practically knock each other over trying to get to the door when he gets there.  Thanks again for our weekly date night, Apa!

PS:  As I was uploading photos, I found a whole bunch from a hike we took with Bubby and Poppa when they were here last month.  Note to self:  next post should be about that.

Chilly

Thinking the last weeks of August would be warm, I signed the kids up for a two-week swimming class.  The weather hasn't quite cooperated.  The first few days were hot, but now we're back to slightly chilly and sometimes rainy weather.

None the less, they have lessons for half an hour every day for two weeks, ending on Friday.  Mateo is now such a big boy that he goes in by himself with his teacher and the other kids, which has gone surprisingly well.  He's bounced like a bunny, blown bubbles, and taken some wild rides on a big floaty thing pulled by his teacher, who is a young man with a rather shocking amount of energy! 

Tali's still in the baby classes, obviously, so I've been going in with her.  The fact that I'm willing to do this really says something about what one is willing to do for one's children. Normally, I would never enter a pool unless it was over 90 degrees outside or I was going swimming specifically to work out.  Getting into a lukewarm pool when it's in the mid-60s to low-70s outside and then being able to do almost nothing to warm up other than bounce around in circles with the other people in the class, singing songs and practicing splashing and kicking...well, it makes for one very cold mama.  Tali actually seems to take after me in this regard and will get cold in the water if it's too chilly out, but Mateo, like Sacha, is happy to get in no matter what the temperature outside. 

All of this is to say that I've learned that I can be cold in the pool for half an hour every day for two weeks and live to tell the tale!  And, that I actually go in happily, because I know Talia loves her lessons.  Getting out is also interesting, because getting the kids both out of their suits and into the showers (or just dried off) means that I'm cold and wet for a long time before I finally get my clothes on. 

I'm not trying to pat myself on the back, just marveling that it really is worth it to me to be a little uncomfortable so that the kids can have a good time and get comfortable in the water.  And, I'm more than a little bit happy that our next set of lessons, should we choose to sign up for them, will be at a very warm indoor pool just down the street.  It's been great to have a way to get some of their energy out between naptime and dinner, so it's pretty likely that we'll sign up again.  Ah, warm water.  I'm looking forward to it already!