New and different, plus a question

Today, in an attempt to get some more calories into our suddenly-very-stubbornly-not-eating-much-again little guy, we decided to try some....wait for it...formula. Yes, formula. He has hated it in the past, on the few occasions when we tried to give him some. However, I have to say that today he not only liked it, but LOVED it. I mean, really loved it. He was opening his mouth and reaching for the sippy cup and taking great big glugs of it down into his tummy. It was really quite amazing!

After seeing that, we talked to a pediatrician/friend of Sacha's parents to see what he thought and he suggested doing some more formula supplementing until we get over this hump. It's either teething or just a growing sense of independence, but all of the sudden Mateo just won't open his mouth for virtually anything we try to give him. Cheerios are a big exception! We really thought it was this endless stretch of teething, but we both have a growing hunch that he might also just really want to feed himself. He's not quite there yet except for with Cheerios, so there's a lot of mashing and playing and very little actually goes into his gaping maw.

Anyway, now I'm not sure what to do. This seems to be my normal state lately. Even though I've always said that I wasn't one of those breastfeed-at-all-costs people, and I'm not, I'm a little sad at the thought of giving him formula when we've worked so hard to breastfeed him up until now. I can't decide if I should go with convenience and his obvious affinity for the powdered stuff or if I should try pumping and giving him some sippy cups of pumped milk with meals instead. Sacha's fine with either and just wants me to be happy and M to start gaining weight again.

It would really only be a few extra ounces a day...but this is also the time when one would expect breastfeeding to slow down a bit. But again, this would just be a short time until he learns how to feed himself and solids start going better. I'm leaning towards pumping for a couple of days and seeing how it goes. Then at least I'd feel like I tried... Anybody have any advice?

Thanks

I want to send a big thank you to my mom. She took time out from a busy evening tonight to talk with me on the phone when I was feeling really frustrated and upset by our endless teething odyssey and Mateo's love-hate relationship with food, and it made a big difference. I feel so much better now!

She told me before Mateo was born that we could always call for any reason at any time and she was serious. She answered the phone at 3 am one night when Mateo was just a few weeks old and we were having a terrible, terrible time with breastfeeding and I was just about hysterical from everything. Sacha suggested that I call home and my mom helped me calm down and figure out what to do next.

Although I've settled down significantly since then, we've had lots of talks over the past nine months about all kinds of things relating to babies and the first stages of parenting. She never makes me feel silly, even though she has a PhD in child-raising and I am still working on finishing my first year in the program. And she always manages to listen to me while gently offering information and ideas of things we might try. I always feel supported and loved, and never judged. Even though I get sad that we don't live as near to my parents as I wish we did, it is so nice to know that I can always call and she'll be there to talk. Mom, here's a virtual hug and a big, heartfelt thanks!

Some photos from the weekend...

The reach

I forgot to mention that M has a new skill lately - he's learned how to reaaaach out his arms when he wants to get picked up. It's very cute and has an unmistakable meaning. Like so:

Hello teething my old friend

I feel as if we are in some sort of eternal teething loop. He's working on yet another tooth. This will be #8 and is just beginning to pop through his gums on the top next to the three front teeth that have already come in. On one hand, I guess I'm glad that we're getting a bunch of them out of the way at once and hopefully he'll have a bit of a reprieve soon. But it's getting a little bit old, none the less.

M cried for longer than normal at bedtime last night and I thought, maybe he needs Ty.lenol? Then, this morning he was fussy and had started his old routine of batting away any food that came near his mouth while making a face that suggested we must be about to bring out some other torture devices soon. And wanting to nurse a lot.

Finally, we felt around in his mouth and found that #8, which has been making overtures towards the outside world for about a week, has finally got a tiny corner sticking through. The rest of it can be felt under a thin, squishy gum barrier. To you, #8, oh you sixth tooth to emerge in less than a month, I say COME OUT!

This ends our test of the teething-emergency broadcast system.

Meat-lovers anonymous

We'd like to welcome our newest member of Meat-Lovers Anonymous. Hi Mateo! Yes, he looooves meat. Apparently, babies usually dislike it, but Mateo is a meat man. So far, he has eaten and enjoyed the following (organic) meats: chicken, turkey, fish, and ground beef. He will take little pieces and chew them up quite happily. Sacha and I always used to talk about how we were going to get kicked out of the lesbian club because we eat (almost entirely sustainably raised and organic) meat and now it looks like we're dragging Mateo down with us! Which brings me to our parenting lesson of the week:

Mateo loves table food. We've been trying with limited success to get him to eat baby food for quite awhile now. At the suggestion of my mom and our doctor, we started becoming much more adventurous about the foods we would feed him. It's going really well! He's become a fan of plain, whole-milk yogurt, shredded cheese, and all kinds of other adult foods. He really likes things that are a little more spicy and grown-up-like than the pureed baby food.

We went to a catered party this weekend and he chowed down on orzo pasta, little pieces of corn, a bean stew, and then he just went crazy for a piece of watermelon. Sacha (who is definitely his preferred mealtime mommy) would hold the slice up and he would chomp off a piece and chew it up.

Then, today, not only did he eat some pieces of pumpkin breakfast bread at a local bakery, once I realized it was not too sweet, but he also indulged in a honking amount of guacamole, chicken, beans and rice at a Mexican restaurant we went to for lunch. It is so much fun to watch him enjoying food!

And, after having mastered feeding himself cereal, he got the hang of eating a cracker on his own yesterday. Here's a photo of our little gourmand holding his cracker:

Also, we had a really wonderful time with Mateo's auntie while she was in town. Here are a couple of photos. They have always had a connection and had a great time together this time, as well.

Busy busy bees

Wow, did we ever have a busy weekend!

Friday:
-My sister came to town, we had lunch, Sacha went to an all-day training
-We had our monthly dinner party and, unexpectedly, 15 people and assorted kids came!

Saturday:
-We hung out with my sister in the morning
-Sacha went to a personal trainer session
-We had some new friends over for brunch and had a wonderful time with them and their adorable four-month-old daughter
-We worked in the garden for an hour
-We house-sat for two different neighbors
-We had a goodbye dinner with Rachel and her dad and Joaquin
-Sacha helped Rachel and her dad pack the moving van
-Mateo fell asleep like a champ in less than a minute at bedtime (yes, it is now clear that there is a God)

Sunday:
-We woke up and were out of the house by 6:45 am to meet Rachel and Mark for breakfast before they drove out of Portland for good
-We came home and all took a nice, long nap
-We got ourselves up and together and left for our monthly PLOP meeting, which was fantastic. We're finally starting to feel like we know some lesbian families and it's awesome. There were tons of people there and so many little babies!
-We got in the car and drove directly from PLOP to an hour south of Portland, where some of our good friends were having a big celebratory party for their recent wedding and birth of their daughter. We socialized like mad for three hours, as many of the guests were neighbors of ours.
-We drove back and our friends Emily and Nils came over for a few minutes, to pick up some things and chat for a minute. It is just so cute to watch the boys play together, especially when I remember that they've known each other since they were born.
-Now, we're about to collapse again. What a busy weekend! And such a good one.

Here are a couple of photos from tonight. They're a little grainy because of the low light, but I think they came out well!:

Goodbyes

Tonight we said goodbye to our cousin/cousin-in-law, Rachel and our friend Joaquin. She's moving back to Michigan after spending three years in Portland and he is moving to Bend to become a flight instructor. Rachel moved here just after we did and we learned about this new city together. Then we all lived together for a year, which was wonderful for all of us.



After we conceived Mateo, Rachel moved out and (eventually) into a community centered around an urban farm just a few minutes away from us. She and Sacha are just a few years apart in age but had never spent more than a short time together because of the great distance between where they grew up. It was wonderful for them to get to spend three years in everyday contact, and for me to get to know a new family member and friend. Rachel, we miss you already! We never got around to talking about this at dinner tonight, so we'll just tell you some of the highlights of your time here.

-Having you and Jamie come to our house right after you drove into town for the first time
-Having dinner during your first week at that Thai place in Sellwood, with you guys and Carly
-Hanging out at your house on Rex St.
-Cooking tiliapia with you and Carly
-That hilarious relationship quiz we all took before the L Word (we still think you and Carly should get married, in a platonic way)



-All those nights we cooked dinner together, especially some of our barbeques and your mint/feta salad that we love
-Having tea and chatting when you lived here
-Seeing you and Joaquin be so happy together
-Going hot-tubbing together anytime we wanted!
-Having you guess that we were expecting Mateo before anyone was supposed to know

-Witnessing the love between you and our cat, Beso
-Watching you and Mateo getting to know each other and playing together
-Getting to have the most amazing cousin that ever existed!

We love you and wish you all the best in your new/old home.

Tonight

We had some friends over for dinner tonight and some of the kids were sooo cute all playing together. Here's a photo. Also, Mateo's Auntie E is visiting and we're all very excited to have her here! She and little M quickly picked up their love affair where they had left off last time :)

Change to bedtime routine

Last night, I talked with my parent's friend who is an expert in sleep, and she suggested that we try staying in the room with Mateo as he falls asleep. She suggested that we be in his line of vision, so he doesn't have separation anxiety, but that we not interact with him. Tonight he fell asleep in less than half the time it took him last night. So, I would call that a fabulous movement in the right direction!

On the school front, I recently learned how to make large posters using excel that you can print on regular paper and then tape or laminate together! It's fabulous. My new school has a color printer, so I spent some time today printing all of the posters I made, and them laminating them. I was going to get them made at kinkos, but this is free, and in color! My room is getting close ready. Every day it is getting a bit closer.

Meeting my weight goal

I wanted to post, because after five years of on and off working on losing weight, I have reached my weight watchers goal weight!!!! I feel really good about myself and all of the hard work I've done. In total, I've lost 23 lbs. and feel much healthier.

As a reward for myself, I am going to get a massage this afternoon from my favorite person in Portland, Tara. (Let me know if you want her contact info . . . she is amazing!)

These next six weeks I need to show WW that I can maintain my weight, and then I will have a lifetime membership - or a free membership, as long as I stay within two lbs. of my goal weight. Talk about good motivation for me!

On the napping front, M took a 45 min. nap this morning. That's a step in the right direction. Two steps forward, one step back.

Can't be too predictable

Our little M apparently wants to keep us on our toes, so in addition to waking up twice last night, he threw in a crazy 3:45 am wake-up time at the "end" of the night. We thought his gums were hurting, so we gave him some tylenol and I took him out for a walk while we waited for it to kick in. After awhile, he nursed but was still wide awake...so we put him back in his crib. By this time, it was 5 am. He was still wide awake when Sacha went in to get him at 6:00. Oy.

And, as Sacha mentioned yesterday, we are still really struggling with bedtime. Sacha has been staying with the baby in the evenings while he tries to get himself to sleep and letting me get out of the house, since listening to him cry just makes me nuts. I think she is a saint in human form. And, a big thank you to my mom and Grandmommy and Paula for hanging out with me last night and cheering me up!

We're trying to be really consistent with bedtimes and hoping that will help. We're also considering taking him to get craniosacral massage, which apparently can help with sleep problems. Also, one of Sacha's parents' friends turns out to be an expert on pediatric sleep (how did we not know this before?) and Sacha talked to her last night while I was gone. She said we were on the right track and just needed to keep going. She said it sounds like M is on the difficult end of normal as far as baby sleep goes, which was kind of validating to hear! So, we'll just keep working on it and try to keep in mind that this, too, shall pass (and be replaced by something else, I'm sure). And hopefully last night was just a blip and he'll pick up on sleeping through the night again tonight :)

In good news, my mom has been in town for a few days and we've seen her several times. It's always nice to get to hang out and for her and Mateo to see each other. Today, when she was leaving for the airport, we were helping Mateo wave goodbye like we always do and he actually spread out his fingers to help with the waving! Then he did it several more times. We were very excited! We saw a baby at the park the other day who had mastered waving and now it looks like our little guy is about to do it, too. Yay!

Sleeping through the night!

Guess who has slept through the night for the last four nights? Sacha - yes! Alayna - yes! Mateo - yes!!!!!! WOW. This is just fabulous.

He is taking great naps, and sleeping through the night. On the other hand he has been having a hard time actually falling asleep. I guess you can't have everything.

Yummy bagel

After a morning that reminded us that we are still living in what I will optimistically call sleep purgatory, and after I managed to unclog my second plugged duct of the week (oooooowwww!), we regrouped and went out for coffee. At our favorite coffee shop. It is the place where we used to go on lazy Sunday mornings, where we met our doula for Mateo's birth, and where we now love to go with the babe in tow.

While there, Mateo had his first ever bites of bagel and cream cheese. And he liked it! We had been waiting to introduce wheat, but tested the waters with the organic Os earlier this week and he did fine with them. So, onto (very small mashed up pieces of) bagels! I may be a bit biased, but it was just so gosh darned cute.

PS: Obviously, we haven't changed the blog over to invited-readers status. We're still waffling about it and keep changing our minds...so it's probably not going to happen quite yet. We do have all your emails in a list and ready to go for when we finally do make the switch.

Books and other things

Mateo took a lovely long nap on my lap yesterday afternoon and I reread most of Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott. It's her journal of her son's first year and it is a great book. So true and so funny at the same time. I have been meaning to take it off the shelf again ever since Mateo was born, since I figured I'd be able to relate to it a little bit more, and I'm so glad I did. I think I'm going to (re)read some of her other books next - Traveling Mercies, Plan B, and Grace, Eventually. Also, I just reread The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, by Michael Chabon, while we were at the beach. Also a great book.

Two more things-

One: Our kitty, Rio, is missing. He hasn't been around since we got back from the beach and our friend who house-sat didn't see him either. He has a microchip in his skin, so any shelter that he might go to should scan him and call us...but since we haven't heard anything, we're going to call a couple of shelters today. We both doubt that he's at a shelter, though. It seems more likely that his outside life and all those fights finally caught up to him. We still have some hope that he's just out wandering and will come back, but are feeling very sad about the possibility that he might not. :(

Two: In happier news, Mateo is learning how to feed himself! Hallelujah! According to Sacha, this morning (while I was sleeping my face off after yet another marathon baby-won't-go-back-to-sleep session in the middle of the night, which concluded with a walk around the neighborhood at about 4 am), she gave him some organic Os and he started picking them up with one hand and then using the other hand to stuff the first hand, and the O, into his mouth! Yay Mateo!! She said after he did that a couple of times, he wanted Os and nothing else. Very cute.

I'm going to post some more photos from our wonderful week with Sacha's parents soon.

Nine-month letter

Dear Mateo,
Wow, you are nine months old! How did that happen?


In the two months since we wrote one of these letters, you have become a very mobile little boy. You have totally mastered crawling and sometimes startle me and Mommy with how fast you can get from here to there. As fun as it is to crawl, it's fairly easy to see that, to you, it's just a step towards your ultimate goal. Yes, walking. Ever since you were probably...(pause for my foggy memory to catch up) three months old, you have been trying to stand up in our laps. I think you have wanted to walk since you were in utero. I can now report that I think walking is in sight. I'm sure it will take a couple more months to actually all come together, but you are on the way.

Here's how the situation stands so far. Parts of walking that you...

-have mastered: pulling up, cruising on one piece of furniture, powering around the house with your Radio Flyer pushcart and chairs, walking with an adult holding onto both of your hands

- are working on: moving between pieces of furniture while standing up, standing without holding onto anything, sitting down from standing without holding onto anything

- haven't even begun to conceptualize: walking with an adult holding onto only one hand, getting to a standing position without holding onto anything, taking a few steps without holding on, etc.



In addition to mobility, you have had a major, MAJOR month in the tooth department. In fact, since we got back from visiting your Apa on the east coast, you have popped out FIVE teeth. Holy toothbrush, Batman! Needless to say, the last two weeks have been pretty tough for all of us. You haven't wanted to sleep or to eat anything solid and have just wanted to nurse all the time. Poor Mama now realizes that she sacrificed way too much baby weight during the horrible thrush ordeal and no-sugar diet and is now eating massive quantities of premium ice cream, whole milk yogurt, etc, in order to keep up with you.

What else are you up to at nine months? We think you might be working on a word! You've started saying "ma-ma" - which, admittedly, you've been saying for quite awhile - but you seem to say it now especially when one of us is around. We think you will probably call both of us Mama for quite awhile, until you can work out the differences between Mama and Mommy. Also, we're working on using more Spanish with you. Most days, Mommy speaks Spanish until noon and Mama does her best to keep up. We're also both taking Spanish tutoring online from Guatemala (via webcam - we feel very high-tech!).

And, speaking of your erstwhile parents, you have developed separation anxiety at last! As recently as our east coast trip, you were content to make friends and be held by just about anyone who crossed your path. However, just in the last week you have become quite a Mommy's/Mama's boy. Not only do you now frequently cry when someone else holds you, but you have been known to start wailing in a panic when one of your moms gives you to the other one! During our beach trip, it happened several times that Sacha would give you to me for a nursing session and your face would crumple and you would scream as she left the room. Wow! As this is a very age-appropriate development, we hope you'll emerge in a couple of months with your social nature intact :)


Mateo, during your eighth and ninth months, I would say that you have truly earned the title of seasoned traveler. You have been all over the place and have done it with a great deal of flexibility and good humor. We spent the beginning of July in California, then went camping for the first time a week after we got back, then went to New York and Pennsylvania a week after that, and then went to the coast for several days a week after that. You have amassed more traveling experience in your first year than some people get in much longer than that. You have learned about flying on planes and developed a fascination with those little magazine holders on the back of airplane seats. You have explored some big and small cities while riding in style on our backs. You have gotten to spend some quality time with both sets of grandparents, your Apa and his boyfriend, your aunt and uncle, and some of your cousins on both coasts. And, you have helped your moms learn that we can do just about anything with a baby, given enough prep time. Here are some photos from our trip to the east coast:





Also, some photos of our recent beach trip with your Bubby and Poppa:



Back on the home front, you seem to be making progress with food again, after your two-week-long teething hiatus. You have had several new things this month: turkey, chicken, yogurt, rice puffs (quickly discontinued due to major constipation), and Cheerios! You have a very clear preference for taking your time with foods, especially new ones, and we are learning to follow your lead. Mama and Mommy also enjoyed a special food this month - cake! We helped your Grammy ring in her birthday in style just a few days ago.




Here's an update on our most engrossing subject: sleep! Sleep continues to be one of our collective challenges. It was going pretty well and you were going to sleep on your own 99% of the time, which we thought was pretty great, until we did all that travel that I mentioned earlier. That, combined with the Amazing Teething Marathon, threw a rather large wrench into the works. However, we're planning to get back into a more predictable routine and hope to report good things in your ten-month letter. I think we're all still getting to know each other and experimenting with what works for all of us.

Finally, you continue to develop your love affair with toys and other playthings. You seem to have discovered all the toy bins (really converted wastebaskets that you kept getting into) that are scattered throughout the house and you loooooove to knock them over and examine their contents. Other favorites include a couple of bookshelves in the living room and a shelf in the kitchen that are full of your books and (in the kitchen) mixing bowls.

Oh, and one more thing - you love other kids! You love to watch the big kids playing at the park and you are also intrigued by little ones that are closer to your size. You have fun at our baby group and you also enjoy playdates with some of your little friends. It's very cute. At this age, it seems that playdates mostly involve babies playing with toys next to each other (is this called parallel play?) with interludes of hair-grabbing and parent intervention!

Mateo, being your parents gets more fun and more complex as every month passes. I still have those moments where I just can't quite believe that we actually got lucky enough to have a kid! And, even more than that, that we were blessed with you specifically. You are helping both of us learn how to appreciate the present moment and not always leap into planning for the future. This is especially easy because, for the past nine months, each present moment has been an amazing and wonderful place to be.

Here's one in a series of self-portraits to kick off your tenth month!


You are the greatest and we love you to the moon and the stars and back again.

Besos y abrazos,
Mama y Mommy

Whew

As we do most months, Sacha and I pulled of our numerous books on the first year of life last week and read the section on nine-month-olds. It talked all about how they become very strong-willed and start refusing to do things that they normally do, like eat and sleep. Ha ha, we thought dismissively. Putting it euphemistically, Mateo has always been rather strong-willed and I was sure there wasn't too much else he could throw at us.

Then his nine-month birthday passed and it was practically the next day that he started refusing to eat anything except breastmilk and also stopped getting himself to sleep. Admittedly, we just got back from a week on the east coast and that certainly has had something to do with it. But I don't think that's all. Something has gotten into him! He has taken the peace accords he recently agreed to with solid foods and tossed them out the window! Anything we try to give him gets a horrible face and hands desperately seeking to knock it off the spoon or push it away. Of all things, the only thing he has consented to eat for days was a jar of prunes and oatmeal at my grandma's house.

The only thing he wants to have in his mouth is Mama's milk. I've started thinking of him as a breast-seeking missile. It really cracks me up because we had SUCH a difficult time for the first three months. I really thought he would just nurse until he could eat solids and then would move on...but it's clear that he really loves him some milk.

And sleep! Oh, the horror. We went totally off our sleep routine while we were traveling and apparently this was not the time to do it. Whereas he had gotten into a good pattern of a nice bedtime routine and just a little bit of fussing before bed, now he just wails and wails without any apparent end. Three times now he's stayed awake for over two hours in his crib before we finally gave up and got him up (only to have him promptly conk out after a few seconds of comfort sucking). He has never been up that long in his life after being put to bed (which is part of what makes me think it's not just disruption from the trip). Apparently it's very common for sleep to be disrupted when they're in the middle of some big developmental spurt, so hopefully things will get easier for awhile again after he masters whatever he's working on!

Just to make things even more complicated, we're heading to the coast for a few days with Sacha's parents. Clearly, we were a bit over-ambitious in our summer plans. We're going to let our usual sleep routine go for the next several days and just do whatever he needs to get enough sleep. Then, when we get back, we'll work on being very consistent with sleep so we can all get back in gear before Sacha starts work again.

Oh, and photos from our NYC trip are coming!