Today is sunny and 60. Tomorrow's supposed to be 75 degrees. We say, bring it on. We could use some sunshine to kick this cold out the door. We're all feeling mostly better but not quite all the way well yet. Hopefully that will happen soon!
Mateo, it seems, has not quite given up mama's milk quite yet! The past few days, he's nursed once or twice over 24 hours at his usual times, usually at naptime when he's already sleepy or asleep. Then, a couple of days ago, he wanted mama's milk when he woke up in the morning, then this morning when he woke up early, and then later today he actually asked for milk twice and nursed himself off to sleep for a nap like normal! We're still not sure where this is heading, but it's looking more like we might have a nursing boy back on our hands after a long week off. I've been really enjoying having our snuggle time back and am just trying to enjoy it as it happens.
I feel like I've been on a roller coaster this week. I actually think it's good that this happened, because, whenever he decides to wean, I'll have worked through a lot of my feelings about it already. I've been alternately sad for awhile and then okay with things and then sad again and around and around like that. Right when I got to feeling very okay with possibly stopping for good, M decided to start up again and that was quite a pleasant surprise!
It's also been interesting to hear other people's perspectives on the whole issue of a nursing toddler and how to manage one who suddenly stops. We've discussed this with quite a few people and have heard everything from encouragement to keep nursing to sympathy about how they grow up so fast to encouragement to wean him now while we can. I think both of us have just been trying to listen to our little guy and to let him take the lead on this one, which is what feels right to us. I'm sure this is just one of many things that we'll be muddling through one step at a time!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Feeding puppy
We tried something new today. We just read a book called Beyond One: Growing a family, getting a life. In the book, the mom talked about being silly with her kids instead of getting into power struggles. We thought this might be a good thing for meal time, as well as just a good thing to try. He has been fussy about going into his seat at meal time, and today his Doggie decided to sit in the seat first. Then Doggie was so possessive of the seat, that Mateo decided he must sit there.
Here is a video we took later in the meal of Mateo very sweetly wanting to feed Doggie. We think he is going to be a great older brother!
You may also notice that Doggie is wearing a diaper. . . he lent a hand during a diaper change earlier!
Here is a video we took later in the meal of Mateo very sweetly wanting to feed Doggie. We think he is going to be a great older brother!
You may also notice that Doggie is wearing a diaper. . . he lent a hand during a diaper change earlier!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Independence
Now that I've had a few days to think this whole situation over (or should it be 'think over this whole situation'?), I'm starting to feel like of course M doesn't want to nurse right now. He is having what might be called a burst of independence. He seems more like a toddler/child and less like a baby than ever before. It's amazing to see.
Here's a snapshot of him from this week: He's putting together more and more words. Today he said "truck go by" over and over after (you guessed it) a truck went by.
He wants to do everything himself. He does not want the tray on his booster chair at the table anymore. No. He wants to eat on his own, unless he wants you to feed him (sometimes simultaneously).
He has had only one wet diaper in two days (not counting nights), with the rest of his business being done on his potty with great pride.
He has been having very short temper tantrums - really more like fits of pique - in which he abruptly throws himself backwards and thrashes and wails when you do something he doesn't like. Or, if you're not holding him, he opts to thrash back and forth while throwing things. Today, I inspired this by daring to take a spoonful out of the kiwi half he was holding.
When we read his favorite books, of which there are many, he finishes large numbers of sentences for us.
We are just bursting with pride at the boy he's becoming. And, understanding more and more why he doesn't want to nurse right now, or anymore. I guess we'll see what he has in mind for the long term after (or if, sigh) we all get over this epic cold, but for right now, I'm feeling pretty good about it all. He's been nursing at naptime and that's about it. Bedtime is going well despite the drastic change in routine. Middle of the night, although he still wakes up once, is going surprisingly smoothly. And I'm wondering if the universe may have orchestrated this to help us ease into the upcoming new era of our lives.
Here's a snapshot of him from this week: He's putting together more and more words. Today he said "truck go by" over and over after (you guessed it) a truck went by.
He wants to do everything himself. He does not want the tray on his booster chair at the table anymore. No. He wants to eat on his own, unless he wants you to feed him (sometimes simultaneously).
He has had only one wet diaper in two days (not counting nights), with the rest of his business being done on his potty with great pride.
He has been having very short temper tantrums - really more like fits of pique - in which he abruptly throws himself backwards and thrashes and wails when you do something he doesn't like. Or, if you're not holding him, he opts to thrash back and forth while throwing things. Today, I inspired this by daring to take a spoonful out of the kiwi half he was holding.
When we read his favorite books, of which there are many, he finishes large numbers of sentences for us.
We are just bursting with pride at the boy he's becoming. And, understanding more and more why he doesn't want to nurse right now, or anymore. I guess we'll see what he has in mind for the long term after (or if, sigh) we all get over this epic cold, but for right now, I'm feeling pretty good about it all. He's been nursing at naptime and that's about it. Bedtime is going well despite the drastic change in routine. Middle of the night, although he still wakes up once, is going surprisingly smoothly. And I'm wondering if the universe may have orchestrated this to help us ease into the upcoming new era of our lives.
Monday, April 7, 2008
One big hacky family
Thanks for the nice comments on my last post! It made me feel better to read what you all had to say. I always knew it would be very bittersweet to think about weaning and it turns out that it is! M did nurse today a couple of times during his naps, both when he was already asleep. He does this fairly frequently (ie, falls asleep in the car, I bring him in and give him milk before putting him in his crib) so at least that part of our routine is the same, for now. And, now I feel like I've had a chance to have a few last times of breastfeeding him at home, if we are heading towards weaning.
We are quite the group over here. All three of us have the same nasty cold and we are hacking away to beat the band. Sacha and I are quite hoarse and poor little M is, too. He's been miserable, we've been miserable...but at least we all know how the other ones feel!
In addition to that, our little guy managed to burn himself today for the first time. We have a tiny space heater that we use in our bathroom and he somehow backed into it after his bath. He cried but we didn't realize why at the time...and it was only after his nap that we noticed something on the back of his leg. Closer examination revealed that it was a burn in the pattern of the space heater grill. We both just feel awful about it. I really don't think there was anything we could have done, because he knows to stay away from the space heater and only backed into it by accident....but still, we feel terrible. Luckily, it doesn't seem to be bothering him too much and we got some burn bandages to put on it and it's already looking better.
What a day! Here's hoping tomorrow's a little better (and involves less coughing)...
We are quite the group over here. All three of us have the same nasty cold and we are hacking away to beat the band. Sacha and I are quite hoarse and poor little M is, too. He's been miserable, we've been miserable...but at least we all know how the other ones feel!
In addition to that, our little guy managed to burn himself today for the first time. We have a tiny space heater that we use in our bathroom and he somehow backed into it after his bath. He cried but we didn't realize why at the time...and it was only after his nap that we noticed something on the back of his leg. Closer examination revealed that it was a burn in the pattern of the space heater grill. We both just feel awful about it. I really don't think there was anything we could have done, because he knows to stay away from the space heater and only backed into it by accident....but still, we feel terrible. Luckily, it doesn't seem to be bothering him too much and we got some burn bandages to put on it and it's already looking better.
What a day! Here's hoping tomorrow's a little better (and involves less coughing)...
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Breastfeeding blues
We just got back from a great weekend up north, where we visited Sacha's parents and enjoyed a lovely party they threw for us and the gestating little one. I want to write about that, but I'm going to start with something else that happened this weekend. This is going to be a little stream-of-consciousness, because I just want to process it.
Last Thursday, I woke up feeling yucky and it quickly became clear that I had a cold. M and I stayed in and pretty quiet that day, but by bedtime, he was sick, too. Soon after that, Sacha was sick. Good times. He woke up to nurse on Thursday night after just a few hours of sleep, and then woke up again a couple of hours after that. I fed him on one side and he started in on the other side, but then he kind of gagged and spit out my nipple. He does that sometimes when he's really stuffy, so I tried propping him up and latching him on again. He didn't want to and I didn't think much of it. I put him back to bed and that was that.
The next morning, he wasn't interested in nursing when he got up, which is very unusual for him. However, it does sometimes happen. I offered some mama milk mid-morning and he nursed on one side but then didn't want the other. I started to really wonder what was going on, but we had to pack up for our trip and I was rushing around and, especially when he later fell asleep in the front carrier and then nursed both sides before I put him down, I figured everything was fine.
In fact, however, things were about to become quite different. The whole time we were in Washington, he just would not nurse. Every time I sat down to offer him some milk, he would push me away and say "No mama's milk!" very emphatically. The only times he nursed were when I would take him out for a walk, he would fall asleep, and then would take some milk from me after we got back but while he was still totally asleep.
We drove home today and thought that maybe getting back into our usual routine would help. We had an especially soothing time at bedtime and then I sat down in our comfy chair to nurse him. He started to curl up in my arms and then realized what was happening and started saying "no mama's milk!" while trying to escape. He finally cuddled into my shoulder and I rocked him back and forth and pretty soon he was asleep. Wanting to get some fluids into him, as well as immunities for his cold, I tried gently changing positions so I could nurse him. He happily cuddled up into my arms, but touching the breast to his mouth just made him jump and turn his head away - even in his sleep!
Sacha and I have consulted some breastfeeding books and La Leche online and it looks like one of two things could be happening. He could be on a nursing strike, which is when a baby or toddler abruptly stops nursing for a few days or longer because of something - a cold, ear infection, change in routine, etc - and then eventually resumes their routine. Apparently this is pretty common in kids who are still nursing at M's age. We had a weekend away from home when we were all sick with horrible colds. The change, plus the stuffiness and sore throat that we think he has, might have thrown him off. Plus, we've been preparing for the new baby and he could sense that a change is coming.
Or, he could just be done with breastfeeding. He is 17 months old and he's a busy little guy and maybe he's just onto other things. Interestingly, he's been going down at night more easily than ever, despite being in a new place, since this started on Friday. We thought the middle of the night wakings were going to be a disaster, because he always nurses down to sleep after he wakes up and has been known to cry for two hours if he doesn't get milk. But, everything was fine. I mean, he was already sleeping awfully because he was so, so stuffy. But when he woke up in the night, after he declined to nurse, we put him back down and he conked right back out. Same thing with tonight - he went down incredibly easily with no crying. Does this mean that he's just ready to be done? He is a very strong-willed little guy and doesn't change his mind easily.
From what we've read, it sounds like the next week should tell us a lot. If he's ready to wean, then that will be that and we'll move on into a short new phase of our lives in which neither one of us is breastfeeding. If he wants to start nursing again, we'll follow his lead in that case, too. He's certainly had a longer time breastfeeding than the vast majority of kids and it would be completely fine if he wanted to stop now.
I think I'll probably have an easier time once we know which way this is going, but right now I feel really sad and kind of unsettled. Once we got past our rough start, I have loved nursing him. Especially since he suddenly started nursing off to sleep around 9 months old, it has been a wonderful part of my days and nights. We go into his room and cuddle up and he has milk while slowly drifting off to sleep. Most of the time I put him in his crib soon after he conks, but sometimes I just cuddle him and think about how much I love him and how lucky we are to have this time together. I have loved this part of our lives so, so much.
I've always known that breastfeeding, and M's babyhood in general, would be too short, but I was hoping for a more gradual transition to the next thing! I get really sad thinking of how last week might have been our last week of nursing and how I didn't even know to appreciate it. Although, I've always tried to just be present with him while he's nursing and last week was no exception. In fact, as Sacha was reminding me, last week was a sweet week. Most days, he nursed down for naps, woke up after about an hour, and then let me nurse him back to sleep again. After he finished with his milk, Sacha or I would hold him and snuggle with him until he woke up. It was delicious and a wonderful time. If that was our last week, it was a pretty good way to go out.
Anyway, I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I think maybe I just need to let myself be sad for awhile, until I adjust to wherever this process is taking us.
Last Thursday, I woke up feeling yucky and it quickly became clear that I had a cold. M and I stayed in and pretty quiet that day, but by bedtime, he was sick, too. Soon after that, Sacha was sick. Good times. He woke up to nurse on Thursday night after just a few hours of sleep, and then woke up again a couple of hours after that. I fed him on one side and he started in on the other side, but then he kind of gagged and spit out my nipple. He does that sometimes when he's really stuffy, so I tried propping him up and latching him on again. He didn't want to and I didn't think much of it. I put him back to bed and that was that.
The next morning, he wasn't interested in nursing when he got up, which is very unusual for him. However, it does sometimes happen. I offered some mama milk mid-morning and he nursed on one side but then didn't want the other. I started to really wonder what was going on, but we had to pack up for our trip and I was rushing around and, especially when he later fell asleep in the front carrier and then nursed both sides before I put him down, I figured everything was fine.
In fact, however, things were about to become quite different. The whole time we were in Washington, he just would not nurse. Every time I sat down to offer him some milk, he would push me away and say "No mama's milk!" very emphatically. The only times he nursed were when I would take him out for a walk, he would fall asleep, and then would take some milk from me after we got back but while he was still totally asleep.
We drove home today and thought that maybe getting back into our usual routine would help. We had an especially soothing time at bedtime and then I sat down in our comfy chair to nurse him. He started to curl up in my arms and then realized what was happening and started saying "no mama's milk!" while trying to escape. He finally cuddled into my shoulder and I rocked him back and forth and pretty soon he was asleep. Wanting to get some fluids into him, as well as immunities for his cold, I tried gently changing positions so I could nurse him. He happily cuddled up into my arms, but touching the breast to his mouth just made him jump and turn his head away - even in his sleep!
Sacha and I have consulted some breastfeeding books and La Leche online and it looks like one of two things could be happening. He could be on a nursing strike, which is when a baby or toddler abruptly stops nursing for a few days or longer because of something - a cold, ear infection, change in routine, etc - and then eventually resumes their routine. Apparently this is pretty common in kids who are still nursing at M's age. We had a weekend away from home when we were all sick with horrible colds. The change, plus the stuffiness and sore throat that we think he has, might have thrown him off. Plus, we've been preparing for the new baby and he could sense that a change is coming.
Or, he could just be done with breastfeeding. He is 17 months old and he's a busy little guy and maybe he's just onto other things. Interestingly, he's been going down at night more easily than ever, despite being in a new place, since this started on Friday. We thought the middle of the night wakings were going to be a disaster, because he always nurses down to sleep after he wakes up and has been known to cry for two hours if he doesn't get milk. But, everything was fine. I mean, he was already sleeping awfully because he was so, so stuffy. But when he woke up in the night, after he declined to nurse, we put him back down and he conked right back out. Same thing with tonight - he went down incredibly easily with no crying. Does this mean that he's just ready to be done? He is a very strong-willed little guy and doesn't change his mind easily.
From what we've read, it sounds like the next week should tell us a lot. If he's ready to wean, then that will be that and we'll move on into a short new phase of our lives in which neither one of us is breastfeeding. If he wants to start nursing again, we'll follow his lead in that case, too. He's certainly had a longer time breastfeeding than the vast majority of kids and it would be completely fine if he wanted to stop now.
I think I'll probably have an easier time once we know which way this is going, but right now I feel really sad and kind of unsettled. Once we got past our rough start, I have loved nursing him. Especially since he suddenly started nursing off to sleep around 9 months old, it has been a wonderful part of my days and nights. We go into his room and cuddle up and he has milk while slowly drifting off to sleep. Most of the time I put him in his crib soon after he conks, but sometimes I just cuddle him and think about how much I love him and how lucky we are to have this time together. I have loved this part of our lives so, so much.
I've always known that breastfeeding, and M's babyhood in general, would be too short, but I was hoping for a more gradual transition to the next thing! I get really sad thinking of how last week might have been our last week of nursing and how I didn't even know to appreciate it. Although, I've always tried to just be present with him while he's nursing and last week was no exception. In fact, as Sacha was reminding me, last week was a sweet week. Most days, he nursed down for naps, woke up after about an hour, and then let me nurse him back to sleep again. After he finished with his milk, Sacha or I would hold him and snuggle with him until he woke up. It was delicious and a wonderful time. If that was our last week, it was a pretty good way to go out.
Anyway, I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I think maybe I just need to let myself be sad for awhile, until I adjust to wherever this process is taking us.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Big boy day
M and I went to get his hair trimmed today and we had quite the fun time. He got to hold a little Nemo fish that inexplicably had, attached to its tail, a little koosh toy with glasses on it. That kept him occupied for quite awhile. I'm sure that he'll expect to see fish with glasses trailing behind them now if we ever take him to an aquarium.
There was an older lady also at the hair place, getting her fluffy white hair coiffed. When M got turned in her direction, he immediately pointed at her and said, "CAT!" I just thanked my lucky stars that she seemed to be very hard of hearing (or just good at ignoring small children) and I loudly said, "Oh honey, are you thinking about a cat? I don't see any cats..." In truth, her hair was quite fluffy.
When we got home, we went to the park to enjoy a gorgeous day and then came home to play with M's auntie and his two cousins, whom he adores. You can tell that he just thinks they hung the moon. It is so sweet. Here's a photo of his auntie reading to him on the couch, and then him with his favorite two big kids:
There was an older lady also at the hair place, getting her fluffy white hair coiffed. When M got turned in her direction, he immediately pointed at her and said, "CAT!" I just thanked my lucky stars that she seemed to be very hard of hearing (or just good at ignoring small children) and I loudly said, "Oh honey, are you thinking about a cat? I don't see any cats..." In truth, her hair was quite fluffy.
When we got home, we went to the park to enjoy a gorgeous day and then came home to play with M's auntie and his two cousins, whom he adores. You can tell that he just thinks they hung the moon. It is so sweet. Here's a photo of his auntie reading to him on the couch, and then him with his favorite two big kids:
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Music
Wow, what a difference a new teacher makes.
We started Mateo in a very popular music class last semester. It's a national program and the Portland affiliate has something like 900 families participating. That's a lot for a city this size. Literally almost everyone we know who has a kid goes to this music program. We tried it for the first time this past fall. He seemed to like it okay, but we had a brand-new teacher and I think he picked up her on lack of confidence or something. The classes involve a lot of singing and movement and dancing around, but he never wanted to leave my lap or my arms. It ended up being a good workout for me, because I carried him around through all the movement parts, but pretty challenging for our little guy.
This semester, we switched class times and got into a class with a much more experienced teacher. One of Mateo's good buddies is also in the class. We had our first session today and I can't believe how well it went. He spent the first few minutes camped out on my lap, but then was up and running. He ran around and played and explored some musical instruments and giggled and generally had a great time. (He even held onto his good mood after a rather spectacular collision with his buddy, in which they crashed into each other at a full run.) It was really amazing to see. I had a lot more fun, too!
When we got home, he wanted to talk all about music class and the kids in the class and how he got to use a shaker. Even when he was nursing before his nap, he popped off to say "music class" over and over. I love it! I think we're both looking forward to the rest of the semester.
(My grandma gave Mateo this semester of classes as his Christmas present, so we just wanted to send out a big thank you to her. It looks like it will be a really great gift!)
We started Mateo in a very popular music class last semester. It's a national program and the Portland affiliate has something like 900 families participating. That's a lot for a city this size. Literally almost everyone we know who has a kid goes to this music program. We tried it for the first time this past fall. He seemed to like it okay, but we had a brand-new teacher and I think he picked up her on lack of confidence or something. The classes involve a lot of singing and movement and dancing around, but he never wanted to leave my lap or my arms. It ended up being a good workout for me, because I carried him around through all the movement parts, but pretty challenging for our little guy.
This semester, we switched class times and got into a class with a much more experienced teacher. One of Mateo's good buddies is also in the class. We had our first session today and I can't believe how well it went. He spent the first few minutes camped out on my lap, but then was up and running. He ran around and played and explored some musical instruments and giggled and generally had a great time. (He even held onto his good mood after a rather spectacular collision with his buddy, in which they crashed into each other at a full run.) It was really amazing to see. I had a lot more fun, too!
When we got home, he wanted to talk all about music class and the kids in the class and how he got to use a shaker. Even when he was nursing before his nap, he popped off to say "music class" over and over. I love it! I think we're both looking forward to the rest of the semester.
(My grandma gave Mateo this semester of classes as his Christmas present, so we just wanted to send out a big thank you to her. It looks like it will be a really great gift!)
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