Everything I need

Sacha just wrote her impressions of our labor rehearsal today and I wanted to add mine, too. It was an intense experience. We practiced a little bit for M's birth, but it was nothing like this. I'm really liking the Bradley method so far. It's very hands on and practical. We've been slowly building up to today for the past ten classes and today we all felt like we had accomplished something. We practiced in several different places in our teacher's house, and since our doula was with us, we all got to get used to working as a team. Sacha and I are both big planners and so having a dress rehearsal of sorts was right up our alley.

Anyway, we both feel way more prepared going into baby #2's birth than we did with baby #1. We just had no idea what to expect last time - and wow, what we got was way over the top. When our teacher was reading off the symptoms of transition (the last several centimeters before full dilation) today, we realized again that I was effectively going through transition at 3 cm when I was in labor. I had the self-doubt, agonizing multi-peak contractions, and the vomiting. The memory of that has us both hoping to avoid pitocin this time around.

Speaking of planning, I realized when our teacher asked us what else we needed to do before the baby comes that we still have a lot to do! We need to pick a pediatrician, get a stopwatch (to time the contractions, although you can actually do that on the internet these days), get screen doors for our house (so we can have some airflow in our house this summer while minimizing the opening and shutting of our leaded windows), register as domestic partners (so my name will automatically go on the birth certificate, among other things), move our bedroom from one room to another one, and a bunch of other things. I know we'll get it all done, but I hope Sacha manages to not go into labor for awhile!

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This week has been up and down for me. Some parts of it have been tough. I came back from our weekend trip feeling tired and kind of run down. Don't get me wrong - we had a wonderful, wonderful time with my family. It made me so happy to see M playing with his grandparents and auntie and uncle. He loves them all and they love him and it's a great thing to witness. He woke up from his nap the other day, heard kids playing basketball in the alley next to our house, and said "Auntie Edlyn! Uncle Galen! Basketball!", because they had played with a basketball and a baseball together.

So, it was a great weekend but the transition back to home is always a little rocky. M is still waking up at night and I am usually dead tired by the end of the day. Things that wouldn't seem like a big deal if I was fully rested, like taking on things Sacha usually does when not pregnant, sometimes feel overwhelming. This week Sacha and I had a couple of talks - ok, more like breakdowns on my part - because it just seemed impossible to think of summoning up enough energy to get through a long labor if that's what is in store for us.

Luckily, my wife is amazing and after listening to me, she helped us do some problem-solving. What we really need, we decided, is for me to catch up on my sleep. Since I can't seem to nap during the day even if M is sleeping, and she usually gets up in the mornings with him anyway, she's going to try taking him from when he gets up until when she's ready to leave for work. Instead of us all getting up to have breakfast together, I'll get to sleep a little bit more and start the day on a better note. She'll still have the nights and her afternoon naps to make sure she's getting enough rest, and she and M will get more time together, which will be nice, too. We tried it this morning and it worked really well.

Other parts of the week have been great. M and I had a social week! More so than we have in awhile. Most days we had several things planned and the week just flew by. We saw friends and tried some new things, including a new community center and a soaking pool at a popular local place. We even met another lesbian mom there! We had gone with friends and were chatting with a woman and her son who had also come to the pool. She mentioned that she was expecting another child in October and that her partner was pregnant. I was like, "SO IS MINE!" It was very exciting. That doesn't happen too often.

Maybe it was something about our social week, but I'm starting to have that same feeling I had right after Mateo was born, when it seemed like our community really came together. It feels like it's happening again. We have developed or deepened satisfying friendships with a variety of people - in our neighborhood, with kids M's age, other families with two moms, people we knew before M came along, our families, and so on - and it feels good. I know these things are always shifting, but things are feeling pretty solid right now.

Add to that that I am madly in love with my wife and son and that we're expecting our little girl in a matter of weeks...well, I don't think it gets any better than that. It's like one of my favorite Melissa Ferrick songs: everything I need is right here in my hands.