Last time, when Mateo was born, both Alayna and I wrote up the birth story without reading each other's story. We wanted to do the same thing this time as well, and so this may repeat much of what Alayna said, but writing this is more for me and my memory than anything else.
On the 21st and 9pm, after waiting and waiting to go into labor naturally, we packed up and went to the hospital to do an induction. We knew when we got there that either I would start out with the ripening gel for my cervix (the preferred choice), or, if I was having 3 contractions every ten minutes, I would be started on a low dose of pitocin. After they hooked me up to the monitors, it was clear that I was having too many contractions for the gel:( The midwife, though, was great and suggested that I drink a ton of water, rest and see if they could get my contractions to slow down enough to still have the gel.
After an hour, they slowed just a hair, and I was given the gel at 11pm! So far, no pitocin! At 1:30pm, I started having real contractions that I could in no way sleep through. They were coming every 3-5 minutes, lasting a good minute, and I wanted our doula, Rachael. Alayna was helping me breath deeply through the contractions and would do all sorts of guided imagery about being in a rainbow and different things to help me relax. Thank you Bradley classes!
I labored with Alayna and Rachael till around 9am. I had times when I felt like I really couldn't do this, but with their support I got through each contraction. Part of me wondered at times if I was going through transition because the contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes, I felt like I couldn't do it any longer, and when I sat on the toilet I felt like pushing, and that made the contractions feel 100 times better.
But, when I was checked I was at 5 cm. Definitely not going through transition:( I was pretty discouraged for the next hour, because I thought I was getting closer to full dilation, but then I got back into the swing of things. I think if everyone had not been soooo supportive of me at that moment, I would have given up. Everyone, though, was incredible upbeat: Alayna, Rachael, the midwife, and our fabulous nurse.
After a while, I started feeling like, well I know I got through the previous contraction, I know I can get through this contraction too! Feeling more confident, I enjoyed my breaks between contractions and felt much more alert. I tried walking around the floor of the hospital, going in the bath, having water sprayed on my belly, rocking on all fours. This isn't to say that I was happy during the contraction, but I started to say to myself, "I know I got through the last one. I can get through this one too." Other times, though, I would say, "No, no, no. I can't do this." Rachael suggested that I say, "Yes" to the contractions. I really think this was one of the few suggestions I just flat out refused during my labor.
I'm not sure when, but I think around 1pm the baby's heart rate started to become less variable. I was also checked again at 1pm, and they found that I had dilated one more centimeter in the last four hours. I was started on oxygen at some point as well, and they tried tickling her head through my cervix to see if she would move or respond. I also know that I started gushing out think green meconium sludge. The midwife and nurse seemed much more concerned about the heart rate than the meconium, but it was rather disconcerting.
Time went really slowly and fast all at the same time. I just got through each contraction with all of my support and time kept on passing. I felt over and over like I just can't do this, and I know Alayna would say, "You are doing this."
At three pm, between a contraction, Alayna took me aside and let me know that she would support me no matter what and that I was doing a great job. At the same time, if I ever wanted something for the pain, that would be ok too and she wouldn't mention it again. She trusted that I would know if I needed that. I don't think I said a word about pain medication, and nor did anyone else.
At 4pm I was checked again, and in seven hours, I had only dilated to a 6 and my cervix was starting to swell. I felt really discouraged at this time. To top things off, I was on oxygen, the baby wasn't really moving, her heart beat was stable, but not variable. The midwife then said that I had some different options. I could continue as things were, or I could take some pictocin, have internal uterine monitoring of the contractions and have an amniofusion to try and decrease the concentration on meconium in my uterus.
The right thing, in my opinion, was to go ahead with interventions and have an epidural. I knew that after 15 hours of laboring, I didn't want to have all of those interventions without the pain control. Once the epidural went in, the baby's heart rate started to get more variable for a while, but then went back to her previous pattern.
At first with the epidural, I couldn't feel the contractions at all. Then, as they increased the pitocin, I got to the point where I was breathing through the contraction, but I could do it on my own. I took the nicest nap in the world, and let me body do her thing.
At 5pm or so, they found that the baby had moved into a much better position and was starting to dilate my cervix again! Yah. Life was good!
Things went on like that till 7pm. I would doze off. Rachael took a little walk and Alayna took a little breath of fresh air as well. I breathed through some of the contractions, but they were mild and just fine. The nurse offered to up the epidural, but I was happy feeling the movement down and some of the contractions. It was great to experience the labor in this way, and I didn't want to be totally cut off from more sensation.
At 7pm, suddenly comes in our nurse and a totally different Dr. who is telling us that the baby is not doing well and much come out right now. Part of me is asleep, wearing a noisy oxygen mask, trying to understand the thick accent of the Dr. and understand why I don't have a midwife anymore, without warning. (The nurse later apologized that she didn't have time to warn us about the change.)
The Dr. kept on saying, the baby is not happy. She is not doing well. She is not happy. She needs to come out now. After he checks me, and finds that I am fully dilated, and the baby is in the plus three position, he says I can have 15 minutes to push, or I will have a complete anesthesia c-section. We don't have time to up the epidural and then to a c-section, if I can't push her out in 15 minutes.
I felt really panicked. The pushing part was the part of the labor I was most worried about before giving birth and during the labor. I was afraid I just wouldn't be able to push her out at all. The Dr. said he would be using forceps, but that you can't pull out a baby with forceps. I would have to push for all I'm worth and he would assist with the motion, and he would make sure the baby didn't recede between pushes.
At 7:14pm he did a time check and said I had exactly 15 minutes, or till 7:29pm to birth our baby. He put in the forceps, and even though I had no physical urge to push at all, I sure had an emotional urge to push, and I gave it everything I had. The first push I had her down to my perineum. The second pushed she crowned. The third push she was born. Three pushes in three minutes and she was born at 7:17pm~!
I have to say those three pushes were the most painful thing ever. I was screaming for all I was worth during the second push and it sure didn't feel like the epidural was doing anything at all for me. (I'm sure it was dulling some of the pain.)
Actually, I expected that the pain of labor was going to be like that second push during all of my contractions. At to have that level of pain for only three minutes was amazing. Now I can just remember that it was intensely painful, but I can't actually recall the feeling of the pain, if that makes sense. Thank you endorphins or whatever it is that made me forget the feeling of the pain.
After she was born, I didn't see much of what happened. Alayna was over at the table and I could see that she was crying. I kept on asking if the baby was alive, and they kept on reassuring me that, "Yes," she is alive. I wasn't sure if she was ok, and was a bit confused.
At the same time, I felt the placenta just ready to come out, and it felt just huge. I wanted the Dr. to deliver the placenta at that moment. It was such a relief in my vagina once the placenta came out. And by that time, it was clear that our Natalia was going to be fine! I still had not seen her, and couldn't see what they were doing at the table, but I was told that she was breathing and would be ok!
They worked on Natalia for a while and the Dr. started stitching me up. I was able to hold our Natalia not too long after she was stabilized. And although they said she might need to go to the special care nursery to be monitored for three-hours hours, she was able to stay with us.
Forty-five minutes later, the Dr. had finished my stitches. On the white board they kept on writing the number of stitches. It started with 6 +2 + 2 etc. and I started to not look at the board after 10 minutes, plus soon I was holding Natalia and couldn't be bothered with the stitches. I never asked how many I received and honestly am happy not to know. Even with the forceps, I ended up with only a second degree tear! I think that all of the pereneal massage Alayna and I did made a huge difference.
After she was born, I breast fed Natalia for the first time. They helped me latch her on, and she sucked a little bit, and I just felt so ecstatically happy. I know that I can't describe how I felt. After nursing, Alayna held her her for a while, and then I think the labor caught up with me. While I was feeding Natalia, it took all of my energy and effort to not fall asleep, and as much as I wanted to stay awake while they were measuring her and everything, I just had no reserves left. I slept until 11pm, and Alayna had her own special time just with Natalia and got to witness her first bath and everything. And then we were moved to our postpartum room with our new daughter!
Overall, I just feel really positive about the labor. It was a wonderful experience. Yes, the last 20 minutes were scary, and not what we expected, but it all turned out well. The Bradley classes were amazing in preparing us for labor, and I feel really good about how I handled the contractions for the 15 hours before the epidural. I know that for me, the interventions and epidural were 100% the right thing to do for Natalia. Throughout the labor I think we really stayed focus on being flexible and remembering that at the end of the day, we wanted to have a healthy baby and a healthy me.
