Out and about

Having been through the whole non-bio-mom thing before, I didn't think there were going to be many surprises the second time around.  For the most part, during Sacha's pregnancy, that was true.  I knew more what to expect, and we also knew more about how to make the non-pregnant partner feel included in social situations, which can get 100% focused on the pregnant mommy.  I felt much better and less easily slighted than I did when she was pregnant with Natalia, which was a very good thing.  I think I also had more confidence in myself as a mom to both our kids, whether I had given birth to them or not, so I didn't worry how it would go once the baby was born.

So far, I think I was right about there not being too many surprises this time around (at least, so far), and I'm certainly not writing this to complain.  (I do have a lingering fear that the teenage years will bring some mean comments like 'you're not my real mom' out of our kids' mouths towards one or the other of us, but I'm choosing not to worry about that for now!  We should have a decade before teenagerdom kicks in...) 

Anyway, the one thing that has really surprised me is that it's hard to show off being a new mom (albeit for the third time) when you don't have the baby in tow.  We've certainly spent plenty of family time together, but our older kiddos have a lot of energy and so I've been taking them out to a lot of our usual places to play and explore and all that good stuff.  Meanwhile, Sacha and the baby have mostly stayed home, to recover and nurse on demand and all that good stuff. 

When we're out, we seem to run into either (#1) families with three kids or (#2) pregnant women with at least one child in tow almost everywhere we go.  It's usually easy enough to strike up a conversation with another mom, but hard to bring up having just had another baby when the situation is a bit complicated, and when said baby is not there!  I don't know, I guess I just want to brag about my kids, all of them, without having to explain the whole thing or worry that the person won't be friendly to the gay thing. 

I will say, though, that with old and new friends and in places where people know us, like preschool or our music class, people have been incredibly supportive and treated me just the same as Sacha in terms of asking about the new baby, which means a lot to both of us.  I'm so grateful for that, and I'm also looking forward to the time when nursing is well-established and Rosa's a little older, so that she can join us on our adventures. 

Don't get me wrong - she is our last child and I am soaking in every bit of her newborn self.  It will, however, be nice to be able to just grab a bottle and take the three of them out and do our thing together.  And, if I can say 'and' again, things will be extra special that way until the fall, because once Sacha is back to her normal strength, we can have some awesome adventures as a family for several months before she goes back to work. 

It's funny:  I started this out in the mindset of wishing for time to pass a little more quickly and am now realizing I just want to be in the moment as much as possible.  The time for family adventuring and Rosa getting bigger will come soon enough.  Must make a mental note to remember this!