Mawwiage

We're still in California, probably through the weekend, and I just had a long discussion with my mom about the movie "The Kids Are All Right," which I (and everyone I went to see it with) thought was terrible and just plain bad. I could go into it in further detail, but the gist is that a lesbian couple has kids with an anonymous sperm donor, meet him when their daughter turns 18, and then one of the lesbians starts sleeping with the donor, starting the slow motion disintegration of their family. It could have been a great movie, but instead it just reinforced all those stereotypes that don't help anyone - that lesbians just need a man to satisfy them, that meeting the donor will destroy the family and cause the lesbian moms to lose control, etc.

But, I have to admit that, for some reason, and probably combined with the Prop 8 ruling from California, that the whole thing made me think about marriage. (Or, mawwiage, like that hilarious scene from the Princess Bride!) I keep hearing about gay families in which the kids ask their parents at some point if they really love each other, because if they did then wouldn't they be married?

Well, we tell our kids that we are married. We have photos of our wedding up in our house and we've talked about how we got married because we love each other and wanted to make a life and a family together. They're way too young to understand that our wedding took place outside the law, or to even understand what laws are, really.

I just can't stand the idea of telling them that we're not married, because, in our minds, we ARE. I don't know how we're going to explain it to them when the truth has to come out. That's something I want to protect them from for as long as possible, but, at the same time, I'd rather they hear it from us than from some kid at school.

I wish Oregon and the feds would get their acts together soon, so that I don't have to explain to our kids that Mommy and Mama aren't really married after all because it's not allowed. And then to have to answer their questions about why. Really, it makes me feel sick to think about. Our family seems so normal to all of us and it's hard to think about breaking that bubble for the kids at some point in the relatively near future. Bleck.

At least they'll never have to ask if we really love each other because we're not married, because we obviously had a wedding and are married in our hearts and in the eyes of our community. It's just those pesky laws that are keeping us from finishing the process!

Ugh.

Sacha's trip to Detroit yesterday went very smoothly.   She made her connection in Mexico City with plenty of time to spare and got to Detroit on time.  In fact, she got to Detroit before we had even left the Guadalajara airport. 

Yes, we had the opposite of her experience - it was a nearly unmitigated disaster, made better only by the fact that we finally got on a plane to the States after 7 hours of waiting in the airport.  That included boarding one plane only to discover that it was broken, and then getting off it again. 

We ended up getting routed so San Francisco, so we decided to cut our losses and just stay here.  My dad picked us up and we're staying at their house for the weekend.  Then, we'll go back to PDX, meet Sacha, and spend a few days in my aunt and uncle's house (thanks, guys!) while they're on vacation and our floors are drying.  The kids and I are planning a mellow day hanging out with my dad and recovering from yesterday.  Then, I suppose we'll figure out our plans from there. 

It's unexpected to see you, Bay Area, but hello! 

Mexico, part 4

So, we changed our minds this morning during a visit to the town market.

And so now Sacha will be flying to Detroit tomorrow, and the kids and I will be flying back to Portland. We decided to bypass the whole travelocity phone system and just book new tickets for ourselves online, and that worked fine. Then, we had to get a document notarized saying that Sacha gives her permission for me to take the kids out of the country by myself, and now we just have to pack up and get ready to go. We're sad to see our trip come to an early end, but, in the end, it seemed more important for Sacha to be with her family and pay her last respects to her grandfather.

We've had a wonderful time here and couldn't be more grateful to Sacha's parents' friends for hosting us. We hope to come back sooner rather than later!

Here are a few more photos of the last couple of days.

My favorite girls...

These next ones are from the amazing mural inside the centro cultural...

Meanwhile, after the mural got boring after about two minutes, our children entertained themselves by running wildly back and forth through this curtain, shrieking in glee. One of the things I love most about this age is that they can find fun in anything (and the flip side, can get into trouble with just about anything, too!)

Goodbye, Mexico! We hope to see you again sooner rather than later.

PS: Did I mention that we're having our floors refinished starting tomorrow? The whole floor project, which had self-destructed right before we left, suddenly came back to life and got scheduled to start tomorrow. We had tried to schedule it for these two weeks because we would have had to be out of the house anyway, but obviously things have changed a bit at this point. We're still going ahead with the floors, so will have to find somewhere to stay until the middle of next week, when the floors will be ready to walk on again. We'll be at Apa's through the weekend and then will figure out something from there. It's going to be quite a week!

In loving memory

Sacha's grandpa, Harold, passed away this morning. He had been recovering from injuries from a car accident which affected his heart and ultimately caused fatal heart issues. He was 90 years old and had just had a wonderful, affirming and joyous party in his honor in June, which Sacha attended. We spent about three hours on the phone with travelocity this evening, trying to figure out a way to re-book our tickets so she could go to the funeral, but the short story is that it was impossible to do it and we'll be staying here as planned. He is in our hearts, though, and he was a wonderful man who lived a long, happy, and productive life. May he rest in peace.

Mexico, part 3, and the banana split that saved us

Before I start on today, I wanted to mention what Sacha and I have been doing in the evenings.  Basically, a whole lot of reading.  It's not safe to go out after dark, so after dinner and putting the kids to bed, we've been hanging out in an empty bedroom of this huge house and reading our books.  Good thing we brought some!  Here's Sacha right before we finally gave up and went to bed last night:

 We ended up having a big adventurous morning today!  The kids are about get up from their naps and demand that I get in the pool with them, and how could I resist that?, so this will be short and mostly pictures.  We first did a half-hour horseback ride through town that we had heard was fun.  It was fun, although both Sacha and I had to sit WAY back in the saddles so that the kids would fit in front of us, and that wasn't so comfortable.  However, we got to go along the water and through the streets and we even got to ride the mama of a new baby horse that was hanging around all the big horses when we got there.  SO CUTE!

Then, since only half an hour had passed and we had the whole morning in front of us, and since we were feeling ambitious, we took a taxi to a nearby larger town that has a nice waterfront.  Once there, we caved to the kids' demands that we take a boat ride.  That was fun and VERY bouncy on the way back, which the kids thought was hilarious.

After the boat ride, we were all fading fast.  My family did a lot of traveling when I was a kid, and I did a fair amount during college, but I've never been in the situation of being a parent in charge when everyone is falling apart in a foreign country.  Sacha and I were like, where are our parents to step in and decide what to do?  Long story short, we found a nice cafe and ate and then had the banana split that saved all our lives.  Soooooo big and soooooo good.  Yum.  Yum yum.  Here it is:

Newly energized, we taxied it back home and did our naptime thing.  This afternoon's plans are much like yesterday's:  splash around and play in the pool.  Natalia seems to have developed a strong fear of going in the water, but she's okay with splashing her feet in at the edge, so I guess that's a start. (Updated to add that we actually did get her in the pool and she eventually decided it was pretty fun.  Success!)  This is the pool, and then our casita in the background.

Note to self:  having a private pool is pretty sweet.

Photos of Alayna

Per the request of a few people, I have been trying to take some more photos of Alayna. . . but she doesn't tend to put them on the blog. So, I guess that I just have to post them myself. I seem to have a block when it comes to taking pictures. I'm not sure why.

This first one is of her carrying Natalia around in the Ergo. Natalia has been carried around everywhere in the Ergo, and thankfully she still fits. Given that the roads are all cobblestone around here, we decided against taking a stroller. This is our first vacation without a stroller! Thanks to my wife's willingness to tote Natalia, it is going very well!



This is just of Mateo and Alayna being too cute. He actually got a ride back from the central square yesterday in the Ergo, because Natalia was in a walking, jumping, running mood. He loved the ride! (I'm not sure if Alayna's shoulders loved the ride!) Overall, he has been doing a great job walking all over town!


Lastly, the kids just had their first "moooooom" experience. We were with the red cross trucks and watching them put all of their equipment back into their truck. So Alayna and I broke out into Natalia's favorite song about firefighters in Spanish, "Bomberos." Mateo was not pleased and told us to stop. Too funny and cute.

Mexico, part 2

First, a big happy birthday to my mom!  Happy birthday, Mom!  We'll have to celebrate with you when we get back.

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After the kids got up yesterday, we wandered down to the main plaza to get some ice cream and just check it out.  We had our ice cream and then just did a whole lot of people watching.  We found the centro cultural, which has quite a busy schedule...

and we climbed all over Mommy....

 and we watched a big band get ready to play a set that night.

This morning, we got up and went back to the ex-pat community center, where they were having a talk by the Red Cross.  We mostly wandered around the grounds during the talk, having been promised a tour of the fire truck after it was over.  I caught some snippets of the presentation, though, and I have to say that I would be a bit worried if I were of retirement age and living here.  There's only one ambulance for the two closest towns, so you could wait more than 20 or 30 minutes in an emergency, and they just can't afford some things we take for granted, like that stroke medicine that has to be administered within 30 minutes.  I hope the presentation raised them some money, because it sure sounded as if they could use it!

 Anyway, like I said, we did some wandering, which included looking at the koi in a pond (Tali is signing "fish")...

and throwing rocks at a painted rock in the lake.

 Then, we got to check out the equipment, and Sacha and the kids got to sit in the fire truck!  Talia only lasted a few minutes, but Mateo loved it.

Then, on the way back, we walked along the road by the lake and found a real, live turtle!  It was stuck right next to a wall that divided the road from the lake/marsh area, so I very carefully picked it up and put it back on the lake side of the wall.  It was pretty neat.

 Now we're back at the house and everyone is sleeping except for me.  I had a great workout in our hosts' pool and now am just relaxing before the kids are up again.  I think we're planning to spend most of the rest of the afternoon just splashing in the pool and laying low.  The kids have been troopers, but they need a quiet afternoon without any more exploring for today, I think.

I will close with this photo that Tali insisted I take this morning.  She and Mateo are wrapped up like baby burritos, which is what we do with them after their baths, and she really wanted Megan to see her wrapped up like a burrito.  So, here she is!