Dear Mateo,
Today, you are 21 months old! 21 months has always been a prominent age in my (Mama's) mind, because it's how old I was when my sister was born. Throughout my life, I have heard my mom say, "they are 21 months apart" in response to questions about our ages. I never understood why she didn't just round to two years, but I do now. It seems that we count your age in months until two years, and then we switch to saying two, two and a half, three, etc. So, you are 21 months old. And what an amazing boy you are!
Here are some of the things you've been up to this month.
The most momentous part, obviously, has been adjusting to our new family structure. There are four of us instead of three and the fourth member sure does take up a lot of your moms' time. You certainly have had some trouble with the transition - telling us over and over that you need cuddles, you need mama's milk, you need mommy's attention (you say, "Mateo need patentions!") - but really you are doing amazingly well considering everything.
You continue to show us what a sensitive and empathetic kid you are. You remember (from your big brother book) that babies cry to tell us something, at least most of the time, and suggest that baby Talia might be sad or hungry or need a new diaper. Today, we were driving home in the car and your sister was screaming her little head off and Mommy was feeling stressed about it. Out of the blue, you told us from the back seat that "Mommy feel sad and upset." And you were right!
You have been learning all sorts of things this month. You are starting to know the sounds that some letters make and can recognize a lot of different letters. Your favorite letter is "w" and you find it in books, on the stereo in the car and all over the place. You also like to look through books and will find pages that don't have W's and will say "no W's." We think it is just too cute. Your other favorite letters include Y, K, O, Z and some other ones too. You also like to chant the alphabet song and play with your alphabet centipede.
Any time of the day you like to play "pretend." You like to put on Mama or Mommy's shoes and walk around the house. You say that you are going to the fresh pot and order a Chai and a decaf Mocha and a cookie. You love to say the word pretend too. "Mateo pretend to go to fresh pot." Today you wanted to pretend to take the milk out of the fridge and pour it all over Mommy and Mama's head!
Speaking of things that could make one cold, you also have quite the interesting imagination. Yesterday, when we were driving and it was hot in the car, you decided to put a blanket over your legs. You then started to complain that you were hot. We asked you what you thought you should do, and you said, "Put ice under blanket!" We have no clue where you got this idea, but it was very cute and quite hilarious.
In the areas of basic needs, you've had two big gains. Number one, you've been sleeping much, much better. Our last really difficult night was the one we posted about a couple of weeks ago. Since then, you've suddenly started sleeping through the night most nights. You've also started to display a truly amazing ability to wake up, fuss for a few seconds, and then get yourself back to sleep. You have never been able to do this before. Normally, if you wake up at all, you are crying and upset and awake. We are soooo happy that you're starting to figure it out.
Number two, you have been eating us out of house and home! Well, not really, but you've been eating a lot. You haven't been the biggest eater, so it's kind of fun to have you interested in all this food. And still nursing the same amount on top of it all! Your larger appetite, plus the increase in sleep time, has us thinking you might be growing. You do look bigger to us, and several people have commented on it, so maybe you're in a growth spurt? I just hope that we hold onto the sleep gains when it ends!
Mateo, when you've been in bed at night for a few hours, we start to miss you! We look forward to seeing your smiling face in the morning and hearing all the things you want to tell us. You are such a fun little guy and we love watching you learn and grow more every day. Te amamos hasta la luna y las estrellas. You are our favorite boy in the entire world.
love,
Mommy and Mama
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Just saying
Today I've been having this thought that I've had on and off ever since Mateo was born. The gist:
In so many ways, we are the epitome of a regular, run-of-the-mill American family. We have two parents, two young children spaced about two years apart, and a cat. We own our home and one of us is gainfully employed while the other is a stay-at-home mom.
Our days, for the most part, are consumed with diapers and nap schedules and playdates and all the other little parts of raising kids. Our house is full of baby gear, our car is full of car seats, and our bed is less often occupied when it is dark than we would like. When we talk to our friends and family, it is most often about all these things. The fact that we are lesbians seems, in our liberal enclave, pretty much irrelevant. We are lucky, so lucky, to have incredibly open and supportive families and friends for whom our sexual orientations are a non-issue.
Given all that, it just seems so strange that there are people out there, and lots of them, who think we are unnatural and going to hell. That we are freaks. Who not only disapprove of us and want to keep their children away from us (and potentially take our children away as well), but who are actively working to make sure we can't get married and who hope we will lose the limited legal protections we do have.
It really is cognitive dissonance, because our lives seem so incredibly normal and yet there's this one part that's a big issue in many places. In fact, in most places. Sometimes when I'm changing a diaper or planning a playdate or trying once again to figure out how to get a little more sleep, I think "if only the religious right could see us now..." I'm sure it wouldn't make a difference, but maybe they'd realize the so-called lesbian lifestyle isn't quite as bad as they think if they saw what our daily lives are really like.
In so many ways, we are the epitome of a regular, run-of-the-mill American family. We have two parents, two young children spaced about two years apart, and a cat. We own our home and one of us is gainfully employed while the other is a stay-at-home mom.
Our days, for the most part, are consumed with diapers and nap schedules and playdates and all the other little parts of raising kids. Our house is full of baby gear, our car is full of car seats, and our bed is less often occupied when it is dark than we would like. When we talk to our friends and family, it is most often about all these things. The fact that we are lesbians seems, in our liberal enclave, pretty much irrelevant. We are lucky, so lucky, to have incredibly open and supportive families and friends for whom our sexual orientations are a non-issue.
Given all that, it just seems so strange that there are people out there, and lots of them, who think we are unnatural and going to hell. That we are freaks. Who not only disapprove of us and want to keep their children away from us (and potentially take our children away as well), but who are actively working to make sure we can't get married and who hope we will lose the limited legal protections we do have.
It really is cognitive dissonance, because our lives seem so incredibly normal and yet there's this one part that's a big issue in many places. In fact, in most places. Sometimes when I'm changing a diaper or planning a playdate or trying once again to figure out how to get a little more sleep, I think "if only the religious right could see us now..." I'm sure it wouldn't make a difference, but maybe they'd realize the so-called lesbian lifestyle isn't quite as bad as they think if they saw what our daily lives are really like.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Blueberries
We went blueberry picking with one of M's little buddies and his mama the other day. There's a rural island about 20 minutes away that has u-pick farms that go crazy during the summer. You can pick everything - strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, marionberries, blackberries, etc. You can also do tomatoes, pumpkins in the fall, and a zillion other things. We'd been invited to go berry picking a few times and kept declining because we weren't sure we had it in us. However, after our weekend adventure, we thought we should just give it a try.
(As an aside: Inspired by our own adventurousness, we actually went to the zoo today. On the spur of the moment! And we managed to have a good time. This second kid thing has its difficult moments, and the sleep deprivation is basically the same, but we are definitely out of the house more and more confident in general this time around. Well, and we have a rambunctious toddler to keep busy...)
We had a great time! Mateo and his buddy ran around under the blueberry bushes playing with trucks and smashing berries into their mouths, a la Blueberries for Sal. The adults alternated between picking and supervising, and Sacha even nursed Talia under the shade of some bushes. It was a lovely morning and we got some great fruit to eat now and freeze for the winter.
Here's the little guy playing with his loader - very important in a blueberry patch:
She's a surprisingly efficient berry picker:
Just another day in the life - can't get everyone smiling (or even not screaming) at the same time:
(As an aside: Inspired by our own adventurousness, we actually went to the zoo today. On the spur of the moment! And we managed to have a good time. This second kid thing has its difficult moments, and the sleep deprivation is basically the same, but we are definitely out of the house more and more confident in general this time around. Well, and we have a rambunctious toddler to keep busy...)
We had a great time! Mateo and his buddy ran around under the blueberry bushes playing with trucks and smashing berries into their mouths, a la Blueberries for Sal. The adults alternated between picking and supervising, and Sacha even nursed Talia under the shade of some bushes. It was a lovely morning and we got some great fruit to eat now and freeze for the winter.
Here's the little guy playing with his loader - very important in a blueberry patch:
She's a surprisingly efficient berry picker:
Just another day in the life - can't get everyone smiling (or even not screaming) at the same time:
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Many firsts
Natalia, having reached five weeks today, has decided that she loves the baby swing. She was only halfway interested in it prior to now, but suddenly, she thinks that it is the best thing ever and slept in it for six hours last night! Yah.
Some other firsts for the day include a ride in the stroller to the park. She has gone in the moby, but never the stroller. She thought the stroller was just fine, until she got hungry at the end.
Her last first is that she sat on the potty with Alayna and peed this morning, and then while we were nursing, she had a bowel movement on the potty between sides. She seemed quite pleased with herself. Similarly what we did with Mateo, we have been offering limited "potty tunities" usually around diaper changes. With Mateo it has been a great way to ease into learning to use the potty, and we hope it will be for Natalia too.
What a day of firsts!
Some other firsts for the day include a ride in the stroller to the park. She has gone in the moby, but never the stroller. She thought the stroller was just fine, until she got hungry at the end.
Her last first is that she sat on the potty with Alayna and peed this morning, and then while we were nursing, she had a bowel movement on the potty between sides. She seemed quite pleased with herself. Similarly what we did with Mateo, we have been offering limited "potty tunities" usually around diaper changes. With Mateo it has been a great way to ease into learning to use the potty, and we hope it will be for Natalia too.
What a day of firsts!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Sleep deprivation and Praxis tests
For my job next year . . . (yes I have a job next year!!!), I had to take (not pass) the Praxis II Spanish test. This is a test designed for people that are going to be teaching middle school and high school Spanish, but for my job next year working as a reading specialist for Spanish speaking students they had me take this test.
It should be interesting to see how I did. Here are some of the mistakes I know I made, but was able to correct.
It should be interesting to see how I did. Here are some of the mistakes I know I made, but was able to correct.
- I forgot my social security number.
- I remembered it, but bubbled the numbers incorrectly, somehow filling in zeros for the ones etc.
- I completely forgot to bubble in the test code form. I noticed this when I glanced over, before the test started, at my neighbor, and noticed that her form looked different . . . oops.
- Then there was the interesting mistake I made while we were driving. It made sense at the time. We were at exit number 254, and I thought . . . wow - Portland is around 300, so we just have six more miles to go. In my sleepy state it made sense that if there are 60 minutes in an hour, 260 was the same as 300. . .
Traveling team!
We made it home! And, we are all in one piece, at least if we don't count my head, which we may have left somewhere between here and Eugene . . . on the trip down:)
On Friday we did a ton of packing and got ourselves in the car just in time for Mateo's nap. As an aside, why is it that it takes just about as long to pack for a one night trip as it does for a three night or five night trip? I guess with kids, you have the same amount of travel gear, no matter how many days you go. We need the bouncy chair for one day or five, etc.
As I was saying, we timed the nap just perfectly. Mateo and Natalia both slept from Portland to Eugene! Yah. We stopped for lunch at Sub.way and Alayna (who just got a rather short haircut) got some interesting looks from the locals. We also bought ourselves an umbrella stroller once we got to Eugene (we had lost our first one somewhere) and then checked into the hotel.
We walked into our hotel room, and found one room and two queen beds about two inches apart. Not what we paid for, or what we reserved. We reserved a suite with TWO separate rooms (read . . . sleep for at least the test taker), not one small room. Thankfully I had printed out our reservation, so we talked with the hotel manager, who insisted on looking at her reservation and said, no, we didn't have two rooms. After a bit of convincing, I found out that they did have an available two room suite (still very, very small), which we took!
We had a fabulous walk around campus, and at least for me, it was the longest walk I've taken since the birth of Talia! We were very proud of ourselves for getting out and exploring the university. We even went to a coffee shop and got a smoothie and a snack. We hadn't attempted any kind of eating establishment since the baby's birth, so it was a big step.
Then we had homemade burrito dinner at Joaquin's house with fresh guacamole, and all sorts of other yummy goodies. We had a wonderful time catching up and Mateo got to run around their beautiful garden, pet their dog, and play paper airplanes with Joaquin! We even went out for ice cream, although it took a Herculean effort to keep M awake on the car ride there. Way past his bedtime.
Sleep. Mateo got great sleep. He slept the entire night through. He's actually been sleeping through the night very well since that last horrible night I posted about. Maybe he should have taken the test. I got some good sleep between 10:30 and 4am, and then a bit more till 5:45. Alayna got a little less, but we were both somewhat functional in the morning.
We got ourselves together and packed up our room and the kids. Then we headed out to try to find this breakfast place our friends had told us about. It was supposed to be open 24 hours, but it wasn't! In fact, it said 'closed on weekends.' Defeated, we somehow circled back around to our hotel and lo and behold, there was another branch of the same restaurant RIGHT NEXT DOOR to our hotel that was open 24 hours. So we got me some breakfast there. We had to laugh that we had driven right by it on the way out the first time.
(This is Alayna now) Now Sacha's feeding the baby, so I'll just fill in what the kids and I did. It actually went quite well. We dropped off Sacha and then headed to a park along the river, stopping for a quick drive-through decaf mocha for me. Mateo has now learned to say "decaf mocha," which is a bit disconcerting.
We went to this awesome park and wrapped Natalia up in the moby wrap, where she slept and slept. We played a lot, watched a road race go by, walked along the river, and played in the car for a long time. Mateo loves to pretend that he's driving. I even managed to change his diaper (on the back of the car - very classy, eh?) while she was on my front. Eventually, Talia got hungry and I gave her a little milk to tide her over, while Mateo did his best to destroy the car. Then she screamed her little head off all the way back to campus. It was great. Definitely the low moment of the day, but not so bad all things considered.
We got to Sacha and Talia commenced nursing for Sacha's whole break between tests. Mateo conked out. After Sacha went back in, Mateo woke up and we headed back to the hotel to check out. Then we had what I thought would be about an hour to kill before meeting Sacha again. Turned out, the test was late, late, late and we wouldn't see her for over two more hours. We ended up back on campus playing in the car while the baby slept. I kept trying to get M to come out and play, but he just wanted to "pretend drive car! pretend driving!". And so that is what we did.
Eventually, Sacha finished her second test and we all grabbed a lunch of fish and chips (and then more ice cream) before getting on the road. Our trip back included an extended nursing break in the parking lot of a random Best Wes.tern (where M also had a meltdown after pinching his fingers in the door handle, poor baby) and a verrrry long last hour of the trip home. Mateo finally just started saying "Ready get out! Want two sips of Mama's milk. Ready get out!" over and over, as Natalia was wailing away in her baby seat. I told Sacha he was having a classic moment of American childhood.
So, now we are back. We are so happy to be back. I'm sure Sacha will update this with the story of her tests, which is somewhat involved, as these things always seem to be. We can hardly stand to look at the car, but eventually we must unpack. I am starting to see that we may need a bigger car someday, as the tiny Civic just doesn't work that well for road trips. But that's for another day. We're very proud of ourselves that we made it in one piece. Now let's just hope we can get some sleep tonight.
On Friday we did a ton of packing and got ourselves in the car just in time for Mateo's nap. As an aside, why is it that it takes just about as long to pack for a one night trip as it does for a three night or five night trip? I guess with kids, you have the same amount of travel gear, no matter how many days you go. We need the bouncy chair for one day or five, etc.
As I was saying, we timed the nap just perfectly. Mateo and Natalia both slept from Portland to Eugene! Yah. We stopped for lunch at Sub.way and Alayna (who just got a rather short haircut) got some interesting looks from the locals. We also bought ourselves an umbrella stroller once we got to Eugene (we had lost our first one somewhere) and then checked into the hotel.
We walked into our hotel room, and found one room and two queen beds about two inches apart. Not what we paid for, or what we reserved. We reserved a suite with TWO separate rooms (read . . . sleep for at least the test taker), not one small room. Thankfully I had printed out our reservation, so we talked with the hotel manager, who insisted on looking at her reservation and said, no, we didn't have two rooms. After a bit of convincing, I found out that they did have an available two room suite (still very, very small), which we took!
We had a fabulous walk around campus, and at least for me, it was the longest walk I've taken since the birth of Talia! We were very proud of ourselves for getting out and exploring the university. We even went to a coffee shop and got a smoothie and a snack. We hadn't attempted any kind of eating establishment since the baby's birth, so it was a big step.
Then we had homemade burrito dinner at Joaquin's house with fresh guacamole, and all sorts of other yummy goodies. We had a wonderful time catching up and Mateo got to run around their beautiful garden, pet their dog, and play paper airplanes with Joaquin! We even went out for ice cream, although it took a Herculean effort to keep M awake on the car ride there. Way past his bedtime.
Sleep. Mateo got great sleep. He slept the entire night through. He's actually been sleeping through the night very well since that last horrible night I posted about. Maybe he should have taken the test. I got some good sleep between 10:30 and 4am, and then a bit more till 5:45. Alayna got a little less, but we were both somewhat functional in the morning.
We got ourselves together and packed up our room and the kids. Then we headed out to try to find this breakfast place our friends had told us about. It was supposed to be open 24 hours, but it wasn't! In fact, it said 'closed on weekends.' Defeated, we somehow circled back around to our hotel and lo and behold, there was another branch of the same restaurant RIGHT NEXT DOOR to our hotel that was open 24 hours. So we got me some breakfast there. We had to laugh that we had driven right by it on the way out the first time.
(This is Alayna now) Now Sacha's feeding the baby, so I'll just fill in what the kids and I did. It actually went quite well. We dropped off Sacha and then headed to a park along the river, stopping for a quick drive-through decaf mocha for me. Mateo has now learned to say "decaf mocha," which is a bit disconcerting.
We went to this awesome park and wrapped Natalia up in the moby wrap, where she slept and slept. We played a lot, watched a road race go by, walked along the river, and played in the car for a long time. Mateo loves to pretend that he's driving. I even managed to change his diaper (on the back of the car - very classy, eh?) while she was on my front. Eventually, Talia got hungry and I gave her a little milk to tide her over, while Mateo did his best to destroy the car. Then she screamed her little head off all the way back to campus. It was great. Definitely the low moment of the day, but not so bad all things considered.
We got to Sacha and Talia commenced nursing for Sacha's whole break between tests. Mateo conked out. After Sacha went back in, Mateo woke up and we headed back to the hotel to check out. Then we had what I thought would be about an hour to kill before meeting Sacha again. Turned out, the test was late, late, late and we wouldn't see her for over two more hours. We ended up back on campus playing in the car while the baby slept. I kept trying to get M to come out and play, but he just wanted to "pretend drive car! pretend driving!". And so that is what we did.
Eventually, Sacha finished her second test and we all grabbed a lunch of fish and chips (and then more ice cream) before getting on the road. Our trip back included an extended nursing break in the parking lot of a random Best Wes.tern (where M also had a meltdown after pinching his fingers in the door handle, poor baby) and a verrrry long last hour of the trip home. Mateo finally just started saying "Ready get out! Want two sips of Mama's milk. Ready get out!" over and over, as Natalia was wailing away in her baby seat. I told Sacha he was having a classic moment of American childhood.
So, now we are back. We are so happy to be back. I'm sure Sacha will update this with the story of her tests, which is somewhat involved, as these things always seem to be. We can hardly stand to look at the car, but eventually we must unpack. I am starting to see that we may need a bigger car someday, as the tiny Civic just doesn't work that well for road trips. But that's for another day. We're very proud of ourselves that we made it in one piece. Now let's just hope we can get some sleep tonight.
Friday, July 25, 2008
On the road
We're about ready to head out for our first overnight trip since the baby was born. Sacha has to take a test to add to her certification for her job this fall (she'll be working as a literacy specialist in Spanish, so she needs to be certified as a Spanish language teacher, or something like that). The only place she can take the test is a couple of hours away by car. After some deliberation, we decided it would make the most sense for us all to go. And so we are.
We have a hotel room (actually, a suite with two different rooms and a little sitting room, so the kids won't keep each other up all night long) lined up and our stuff packed and now we're just hoping to make it there and back in one piece! Tomorrow, Sacha will leave early for the test and I'll be with M and N until early afternoon. We're hoping we can drop by the testing center so Sacha can feed the baby on her break, but we have lots of pumped milk packed on ice just in case. I really have no idea what I'm going to do with the three of us all morning, but I guess we'll go exploring!
We've had several family outings in the car by this point, but none more than a few miles from home. It's going to be for just over 24 hours, so hopefully we can do it. Wish us luck!
We have a hotel room (actually, a suite with two different rooms and a little sitting room, so the kids won't keep each other up all night long) lined up and our stuff packed and now we're just hoping to make it there and back in one piece! Tomorrow, Sacha will leave early for the test and I'll be with M and N until early afternoon. We're hoping we can drop by the testing center so Sacha can feed the baby on her break, but we have lots of pumped milk packed on ice just in case. I really have no idea what I'm going to do with the three of us all morning, but I guess we'll go exploring!
We've had several family outings in the car by this point, but none more than a few miles from home. It's going to be for just over 24 hours, so hopefully we can do it. Wish us luck!
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