I keep waiting for that time in life when we just have all our friends and everything is stable, although now that I type that out, it sounds kind of boring! Anyway, we've been lucky enough to meet some new friends recently, by which I mean in the last year or so. Suddenly, things seem to be picking up and just in the past month we've connected with three new couples/families.
It's funny, actually, because we have two different but sometimes overlapping social groups. The kids and I tend to be busy and social during the week with various playdates and our music class and various other activities. Sacha commented recently that, at this point, she barely knows the people we see during the week, because she's not usually around for the kid playdate stuff. Then, we have our people that we see on the weekends, who are more likely either not to have kids or to work fulltime or both, so weekends are the main social option. Of course, sometimes the groups overlap, but that's the basic breakdown.
Things have been pretty steady with these groups over the past couple of years, and that's been all well and good. We're always kind of looking for new friends, having realized how relationships turn over and having to put so much energy into building a community when we moved to Portland. Attempts at other friendships have, until recently, for whatever reason, not worked out, and we've instead enjoyed building deeper relationships with our core group.
I guess the reason that I'm writing this is that I'm excited about getting to know new people! We had three social things with new or newish (is that a word?) friends this week and weekend and really enjoyed them all. We feel so lucky to have local friendships that we've built over a period of years as well as new ones that are somewhat new or just starting. It feels good to have more of a mix again.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Bundle
When Sacha's mom was a baby, in upstate New York, it was common practice to bundle up one's baby and put them in their stroller out on the porch for a nap. It got very cold there, but apparently the baby or toddler stayed warm and this was the accepted thing to do.
We took the kids out for a walk in their stroller today and Talia insisted on sitting in the basket underneath, which you're not really supposed to do but didn't seem especially dangerous to us. Partway through, she fell asleep. It was right around naptime and she was all bundled up, so we covered her up a little more when we got home and then left her out on the porch to nap, just as her grandmother did two generations ago!
Of course, we made sure she couldn't be seen from the street and checked on her every 2 minutes or so, but nonetheless, it was similar. Here's our little bundle, who is now awake and wanting to be entertained while her brother naps. I pretty much live for their coordinated nap and rest times, but I'm trying to appreciate the one-one-one time with our younger one, especially before she becomes our middle one!
We took the kids out for a walk in their stroller today and Talia insisted on sitting in the basket underneath, which you're not really supposed to do but didn't seem especially dangerous to us. Partway through, she fell asleep. It was right around naptime and she was all bundled up, so we covered her up a little more when we got home and then left her out on the porch to nap, just as her grandmother did two generations ago!
Of course, we made sure she couldn't be seen from the street and checked on her every 2 minutes or so, but nonetheless, it was similar. Here's our little bundle, who is now awake and wanting to be entertained while her brother naps. I pretty much live for their coordinated nap and rest times, but I'm trying to appreciate the one-one-one time with our younger one, especially before she becomes our middle one!
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| See her in the bottom? This was the view from the window... |
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| Sleeping beauty all wrapped up |
Friday, January 7, 2011
Favorites
I thought I'd quickly post a photo of each kid in their favorite thing to wear right now. Talia is obsessed with this I Love Science shirt (covered in the remains of a big day of playing, I might add) that we got at the Lawrence Hall of Science while in the Bay Area...
and Mateo loves his sweater from Old Navy that I got on a whim.
Scientists and fashionistas of the world, watch out for these two!
and Mateo loves his sweater from Old Navy that I got on a whim.
Scientists and fashionistas of the world, watch out for these two!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Experimental
Two experiments currently underway in our house:
1. The shared sleeping situation. So far, it is going cautiously well. Mateo has been experimenting with exactly how many times he can exit the room upon being put to bed, but overall things have been improving and they've both been sleeping through the night for the most part (knocking on serious wood here). We've been bribing Mateo with the promise of a brand new library book for every night he sleeps all the way through, which has been very effective so far. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I am so grateful to the universe for giving us a kid (and hopefully kids, but it's too early to tell with Talia yet) who loves books.
2. I just read an article forwarded by a friend on facebook about the downsides of staying home with your kids instead of continuing to work. There are certainly plenty of downsides: the salary advances you'll never catch up to, the promotions that your peers will have achieved by the time you go back to work at a lower level, the difficulty of finding a job at all after a certain number of years. The article ended with the conclusion that continuing your career without a break is ultimately more important, because of financial security, than opting to stay home even if you can make it work financially at the time.
I have to say that it's been hitting home recently, even without that article, because of how many people I know that are climbing some kind of ladder, be it in the corporate or nonprofit worlds or otherwise. As well, when I worked half-time after Talia was born, one of my colleagues was a woman who had stayed home with her daughters for ten years and then gone back to work at a level populated mostly by 20-somethings, and she was probably lucky to get that job at all.
I don't regret our decision for the kids to be my job. On the contrary, I feel incredibly lucky that we have the financial ability to do this. I know that most families just don't have the choice in the first place. It is, however, a bit disconcerting to see friends and acquaintances taking on ever more important titles and knowing that I will never catch up to them professionally or in regards to salary.
On the other hand, I'm taking a leap of faith that I'll be able to find a social work job when the time comes, albeit at a lower level than my peers. And, I know in my gut that the one thing you really can't get back is time. That's what our lives are made of, right? Time. That's what you can't get back, more than a job or a higher salary or any of that. Right now, we're buying time for the kids to have a parent at home and time for me to experience their childhoods with them.
I am fully aware that I'm saying this from a point of privilege and I am 100% behind the idea that the best thing for any family is what works for that family, regardless of what works for mine. But, I can't say that I have any real regrets about our situation now, and I doubt that I will in the future. Staying home is what I want to be doing and I am just so thankful that it is possible. It is definitely a big experiment with the future, though, so stay tuned to find out what happens!
1. The shared sleeping situation. So far, it is going cautiously well. Mateo has been experimenting with exactly how many times he can exit the room upon being put to bed, but overall things have been improving and they've both been sleeping through the night for the most part (knocking on serious wood here). We've been bribing Mateo with the promise of a brand new library book for every night he sleeps all the way through, which has been very effective so far. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I am so grateful to the universe for giving us a kid (and hopefully kids, but it's too early to tell with Talia yet) who loves books.
2. I just read an article forwarded by a friend on facebook about the downsides of staying home with your kids instead of continuing to work. There are certainly plenty of downsides: the salary advances you'll never catch up to, the promotions that your peers will have achieved by the time you go back to work at a lower level, the difficulty of finding a job at all after a certain number of years. The article ended with the conclusion that continuing your career without a break is ultimately more important, because of financial security, than opting to stay home even if you can make it work financially at the time.
I have to say that it's been hitting home recently, even without that article, because of how many people I know that are climbing some kind of ladder, be it in the corporate or nonprofit worlds or otherwise. As well, when I worked half-time after Talia was born, one of my colleagues was a woman who had stayed home with her daughters for ten years and then gone back to work at a level populated mostly by 20-somethings, and she was probably lucky to get that job at all.
I don't regret our decision for the kids to be my job. On the contrary, I feel incredibly lucky that we have the financial ability to do this. I know that most families just don't have the choice in the first place. It is, however, a bit disconcerting to see friends and acquaintances taking on ever more important titles and knowing that I will never catch up to them professionally or in regards to salary.
On the other hand, I'm taking a leap of faith that I'll be able to find a social work job when the time comes, albeit at a lower level than my peers. And, I know in my gut that the one thing you really can't get back is time. That's what our lives are made of, right? Time. That's what you can't get back, more than a job or a higher salary or any of that. Right now, we're buying time for the kids to have a parent at home and time for me to experience their childhoods with them.
I am fully aware that I'm saying this from a point of privilege and I am 100% behind the idea that the best thing for any family is what works for that family, regardless of what works for mine. But, I can't say that I have any real regrets about our situation now, and I doubt that I will in the future. Staying home is what I want to be doing and I am just so thankful that it is possible. It is definitely a big experiment with the future, though, so stay tuned to find out what happens!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Two and a half
This girl recently turned two and a half years old, and I decided it was time for an update. At two and a half, Tali's favorite food is mac and cheese, which she calls simply Mac. She likes to shorten most names, in general, actually, and she also loves to use the word "actually." For example, we go to this place called Playdate PDX and she insists on calling it PDX and nothing more.
She is a little koala bear in public, at least most of the time. She prefers to be carried around, which isn't too much trouble because she's so tiny, but she does take a very long time to warm up around other people, even when she knows them. She had a big breakthrough today at PDX when we ran into some friends and she played with a friend who is Mateo's age on her own for a little while.
She can say lots of things and does, but her signature move for "no" is to cock her head onto her shoulder, and for yes, she just says "huh," as in "uh huh," which, of course, she has abbreviated. She has a great sense of humor and the best belly laugh ever.
She has a hilarious way of asking questions that is hard to describe but extremely cute. She asks with this very concerned expression on her face that looks like she might be asking about world peace, but instead, like this morning, she will say something like "We see you chew gum this morning, Mama?" For some reason I bought some gum the other day and the kids can't get enough of watching me chew it. Maybe they will also like watching grass grow? On the way home from picking up her big brother, Tali asked Te Te all about preschool and quizzed him about what kind of bandaid he would like for his owie when we got home. "You have penguin bandaid or penguin bandaid, Te Te?", she asked, not being able to remember any other kind of bandaid we have.
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| Here they are, showing off their carefully chosen bandaids... |
In any case, Tali is very attached to her family, from her Mommy and Mama and Te Te to Apa and her grandparents and auntie and uncle and Megan to Yarn, who she still adores, but mostly from a distance. She is interested in the idea of Drizzle, but has no idea really what is going on! She's going to be a great and loving big sister and I can't wait to see her in action.
She already has the role of little sister dialed in. She adores her Te Te and pretty much thinks he hung the moon....unless, of course, he takes something from her or infringes too much on her personal space, in which case a tantrum is in order. It's amazing how they do all the expected sibling behaviors (sometimes inseparable, sometimes unable to stand the other's presence) without having had any instruction. I guess these things are just instinctive.
Natalia at two and a half is just what I think a two and a half year old should be. She is, at times, so outrageously cute we can hardly stand it, and, at times, so outrageously stubborn and infuriating that we can hardly stand it! She's just as she should be and we wouldn't want anything different. It's amazing to see her little personality start to emerge. She is strong-willed, loving, creative, energetic, cuddly, and generally just a great kid. It's hard to believe she'll be three in just six months. We're just enjoying her the way she is, right now. We love you, kiddo!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Ka-chow!
We let Mateo and Natalia watch their first movie on Christmas Day. It was Cars. We had tried Finding Nemo before, but it was much too scary. It inspired months of Talia going around saying "Nemo too scary for Te Te" in her tiny little voice, which was adorably cute even as it reminded Mateo of how scared he had been. We've since gotten the advice to just skip the first ten minutes of any Disney movie, as that's usually when the scary part happens.
Anyway, we have some kid friends who have loved Cars, and this has trickled down to Mateo, so we got them both the movie and each a little car to go with it. Mateo got Lightening McQueen and Tali got Doc (I have no idea who this is, but Mateo assures me that he's a friend of McQueen's), both of whom change colors in hot water, which makes them extra cool.
This movie, which both kids watched all the way through with a collection of relatives, has sparked a car explosion in our house. Just by happenstance, we've collected a few hotwheels here, a few other cars there, and suddenly we have enough for an army, and just in time for Mateo to become obsessed with them. He's always liked lining them up in perfect little lines, but now he wants to really play with them and talk about them and talk about them and talk about them and....
...well, the monologues! Basic child development will tell you that endless monologues are typical for kids this age, and we have watched them happen with our little cousins, but wow, it's still amazing to see just how much the kid can talk once he gets going. He just yammers on and on about the cars and what they're doing and who each one is and on and on and you can't just sit idly by, you have to say "uh huh" and "oh really?" and such at appropriate times. It so funny and cute, although sometimes more so when he's talking to someone else :)
One of the most fascinating parts of all this is that it hasn't actually made the kids want television more. They talk about the movie, and at this point I think Mateo could spend the rest of his life reenaacting it, but that's about it. Sacha tried to watch some of it with them today and Mateo watched it for two minutes before saying that he'd rather play with his cars. Tali lasted a bit longer, but not much, which is fine by us.
Especially for a week when we're going to be inside a lot, until this cold spell breaks, it's perfect timing. Our house is littered with cars everywhere, but at least it's also littered with happy kids. (Our other happy kid isn't as invested in the cars, but she is quite obsessed with the baby toys we just pulled up from the basement. Both kids desperately want to be babies again, not surprisingly, and so the baby toys have taken on much new importance, as well.) We've just been amazed at how quickly a toy car, in Mateo's mind, could go from a plaything to McQueen the Invincible. Ka-chow!
Anyway, we have some kid friends who have loved Cars, and this has trickled down to Mateo, so we got them both the movie and each a little car to go with it. Mateo got Lightening McQueen and Tali got Doc (I have no idea who this is, but Mateo assures me that he's a friend of McQueen's), both of whom change colors in hot water, which makes them extra cool.
This movie, which both kids watched all the way through with a collection of relatives, has sparked a car explosion in our house. Just by happenstance, we've collected a few hotwheels here, a few other cars there, and suddenly we have enough for an army, and just in time for Mateo to become obsessed with them. He's always liked lining them up in perfect little lines, but now he wants to really play with them and talk about them and talk about them and talk about them and....
...well, the monologues! Basic child development will tell you that endless monologues are typical for kids this age, and we have watched them happen with our little cousins, but wow, it's still amazing to see just how much the kid can talk once he gets going. He just yammers on and on about the cars and what they're doing and who each one is and on and on and you can't just sit idly by, you have to say "uh huh" and "oh really?" and such at appropriate times. It so funny and cute, although sometimes more so when he's talking to someone else :)
One of the most fascinating parts of all this is that it hasn't actually made the kids want television more. They talk about the movie, and at this point I think Mateo could spend the rest of his life reenaacting it, but that's about it. Sacha tried to watch some of it with them today and Mateo watched it for two minutes before saying that he'd rather play with his cars. Tali lasted a bit longer, but not much, which is fine by us.
Especially for a week when we're going to be inside a lot, until this cold spell breaks, it's perfect timing. Our house is littered with cars everywhere, but at least it's also littered with happy kids. (Our other happy kid isn't as invested in the cars, but she is quite obsessed with the baby toys we just pulled up from the basement. Both kids desperately want to be babies again, not surprisingly, and so the baby toys have taken on much new importance, as well.) We've just been amazed at how quickly a toy car, in Mateo's mind, could go from a plaything to McQueen the Invincible. Ka-chow!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Le weekend, plus 27 weeks!
It has been a cold, cold last weekend of winter break. I know it's nothing like the weather in other parts of the country, but it's amazing how several days of temps in the 30s can affect the flow of things. Most of the things we would normally do during the day, such as taking a walk outside, going to the library, going to another kid-oriented place, were impossible either because of the weather or the holiday or both. Even though the rain here makes outdoor adventures difficult during the winter, there are tons of places to take kids to play indoors, but all of them were either closed or mobbed with bigger kids on break from school. We tried one of our new favorites during the first week of winter break and both kids got mowed down by bigger kids more than once. So, we decided to avoid that this past week and weekend!
At Sacha's suggestion, we bundled up both kids both yesterday and today and took them to the park anyway, in their snowsuits, mittens, hats, etc. Once there, they were happy as clams and, apparently, warmer than we were, because we had to drag them away when we finally had enough of the cold. Other than those two expeditions, and a trip to see my grandma on New Year's Eve and my aunt and uncle on New Year's Day, we spent almost the entire weekend in our house. This is totally not normal for us, because either the parents or the kids end up going stir crazy. However, with stir crazy being the only option, we just went with it.
Don't get me wrong - I would LOVE to have more lazy weekends around the house. It just doesn't seem possible at this point in our lives. However, since there was no other choice this weekend, we made it possible! And, it went okay and we had fun doing around the house stuff, like wearing our pajamas all day and watching football and making popcorn and playing with play-doh and coloring and playing in the basement and just about anything else we could think of. I have to say, although I will be very sad to see Sacha go back to work, I'm looking forward to getting back into our normal daily routine, too.
One big part of the weekend involved the kids and Sacha swaddling up various stuffed animals and pretending they were babies. The kids found some swaddling blankets I had gotten for Drizzle and instantly became obsessed with having their own babies. Once swaddled, the pretend babies got nursed, put down for naps, put in the back of the car, and generally carried around everywhere. Here's Mateo getting ready to put some babies down for a nap:
Also, an update on the sleep front: Mateo is still sleeping in Natalia's room, but bedtime has been a major struggle. He keeps wanting to come out and each time he has a million little requests that are just stalling tactics. So far, he's managed to fall asleep in her room every night since this started, but there have been some rough evenings.
He really, really wants to sleep in her room, but he really, really doesn't want to go to sleep. Not that he ever has. We were having these issues when he was in his own room, too. So, I guess we'll see what happens. At this point this evening, he has come out twice, had a timeout on his third time (as he had been warned would happen), and is now back in her/their room in his bed. We're just crossing our fingers that he stays in there, and that this transition eases up after awhile. Change has never been easy for him (is it for anyone?), and even though he initiated this, it's still taking some getting used to.
Anyway, in happier news, Sacha just hit 27 weeks! Here she is with Tali. Mateo was doing something else at the time, so it was an all-girls photo session.
At Sacha's suggestion, we bundled up both kids both yesterday and today and took them to the park anyway, in their snowsuits, mittens, hats, etc. Once there, they were happy as clams and, apparently, warmer than we were, because we had to drag them away when we finally had enough of the cold. Other than those two expeditions, and a trip to see my grandma on New Year's Eve and my aunt and uncle on New Year's Day, we spent almost the entire weekend in our house. This is totally not normal for us, because either the parents or the kids end up going stir crazy. However, with stir crazy being the only option, we just went with it.
Don't get me wrong - I would LOVE to have more lazy weekends around the house. It just doesn't seem possible at this point in our lives. However, since there was no other choice this weekend, we made it possible! And, it went okay and we had fun doing around the house stuff, like wearing our pajamas all day and watching football and making popcorn and playing with play-doh and coloring and playing in the basement and just about anything else we could think of. I have to say, although I will be very sad to see Sacha go back to work, I'm looking forward to getting back into our normal daily routine, too.
One big part of the weekend involved the kids and Sacha swaddling up various stuffed animals and pretending they were babies. The kids found some swaddling blankets I had gotten for Drizzle and instantly became obsessed with having their own babies. Once swaddled, the pretend babies got nursed, put down for naps, put in the back of the car, and generally carried around everywhere. Here's Mateo getting ready to put some babies down for a nap:
Also, an update on the sleep front: Mateo is still sleeping in Natalia's room, but bedtime has been a major struggle. He keeps wanting to come out and each time he has a million little requests that are just stalling tactics. So far, he's managed to fall asleep in her room every night since this started, but there have been some rough evenings.
He really, really wants to sleep in her room, but he really, really doesn't want to go to sleep. Not that he ever has. We were having these issues when he was in his own room, too. So, I guess we'll see what happens. At this point this evening, he has come out twice, had a timeout on his third time (as he had been warned would happen), and is now back in her/their room in his bed. We're just crossing our fingers that he stays in there, and that this transition eases up after awhile. Change has never been easy for him (is it for anyone?), and even though he initiated this, it's still taking some getting used to.
Anyway, in happier news, Sacha just hit 27 weeks! Here she is with Tali. Mateo was doing something else at the time, so it was an all-girls photo session.
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